TLDR; I recently graduated from uni and I'm spiraling.

During my uni life, I was confident in all areas (healthy lifestyle, lots of self care, super social, great grades). But after I returned from study abroad and began my final semester, my self esteem took a nosedive. That whole summer, I contemplated that I had just become fluent in my 3rd language, was about to graduate with a single major and double minor degree, had sooo many friends, newer students looked up to me for leading a student org for a few years, felt good physically/emotionally, yet still, no one wanted to date me. I was really depressed for a long time, and even though I'm working on coming out of it (making new friends back in my hometown, exercising, eating better, overall just taking care of myself), remnants of those feelings still remain.

I focused so hard on being academically/socially successful in college and took advantage of every opportunity that came my way because it's such a privilege. I guess I assumed that having my life together would naturally lead me to find someone who might be interested in dating, so I never fixated on it. Out of the maybe 5 or 6 guys that seriously pursued me and/or reciprocated my advances, I later found out at one time or another all had girlfriends... So of course I immediately cut them off. FYI, they were all very different, I don't have a "type."

At the moment, I'm working full time at a minimum wage job while applying to other places for a career. I know I'm supposed to be completely focused on finding a career, and trust me, I'm putting in the time. But I can't help but wonder why a relationship hasn't happened for me yet? I get all this advice that I should focus on myself, and that is definitely my top priority. Even while taking excess units, taking care of myself, running a student org, and having a social life, I still had time leftover to feel lonely. And now doesn't feel much different. I know a relationship doesn't define my worth, but I'm allowed to want to date right?

A couple weeks ago, a customer I'm friendly with asked me if I had a boyfriend, then told me they were confused as to why I didn't because I have a good personality, speak foreign languages (we speak a non-English language together), and I'm pretty. This isn't the first time I've heard a variation of similar sentiments. Now that my birthday is coming up and I'm getting another year older with absolutely zero dating experience, I'm feeling like I'm falling apart.

I just wish I had a romantic partner who accepted me unconditionally and supported me. I want to go on dates, be intimate, have someone who loves me for me. Honestly, at this point, I'm feeling unlovable. I have never shied away from doing things alone, but now I want to do things with someone who likes/loves me. (And full-disclosure, on top of all that, I'm super fucking horny and not into the idea of casual sex).

As time goes on, all my girlfriends and even younger relatives are getting into relationships and not able to spend as much time/attention on me. That's natural and I completely understand, I'm just sad because it's getting harder and harder to kind of go it alone.

I've tried online dating and I'm not interested in doing it again. Now that the virus is in full swing, I've ceased going out to public events like I was before. So I guess I would consider any advice to be followed after people are allowed to go out and gather again.

Can anyone relate at all? Any advice?