How can I get over a bum-ass guy?

understatedalways · 2019-10-30T01:44:55+00:00

I have been in your place. I’m a beautiful, successful woman who fell in love with a troll. I was so devastated at times over what he did that I even considered suicide. It takes time, a lot of effort, leaning on friends, and honestly just going to meet new, nicer, hotter guys. Your self esteem is in the gutter right now, but you’re amazing, so don’t let that piece of trash steal your light. Guys like that just get off on feeling powerful if a hot chick even gives him the time of day. You gave him the most beautiful thing you could give him-your love- and he blew it. Thank you, next!

reddituser39682 · 2019-10-30T00:00:12+00:00

Leave him and take time to work on yourself. As long as you come across as an easy target, men will take advantage of you. You need to get to a point where you don't care as much and don't need their validation.

siddmartha · 2019-10-30T00:41:05+00:00

I've been in your place girl.. I'm so sorry you had to go through this and that shit bag didn't deserve you at all. I did the same with an ex. I paid for a bunch of stuff, my family gave him free dental work, tons of emotional support..he cheated on me and we broke up, I took him back..we tried to make it work but I couldn't get over it, I was just so angry still.

We went on and off talking for a few months before I honestly couldn't take it anymore and just ghosted his ass...cut everything off cold turkey and it's the best thing I ever did.

You'll find someone who loves and cherishes you soon enough. Just accept that you give it your all, there is no use in beating yourself up. You're allowed to be sad even if he was a shit. He didn't appreciate you, it is his loss. Use your experience as a lesson to yourself and don't make the same mistakes again. Give yourself some time to heal - go hang out with your girl friends or people who love and appreciate you.

SaltCupcake · 2019-10-30T00:22:37+00:00

What would I tell my 18 year old self when I was in your shoes?

Stop creating fan clubs for Trash Trevor. This only encourages their behavior further. They thrive on attention as it gives them validation. Cut off the attention and it will cut off the oxygen supply.
Get a new hobby or pursue a passion. What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but never have done? Anything you’d like to learn? The busier you stay the less time you have to think about Trash Trevor. By either learning a new skill or pursuing a passion you’re investing in yourself and in return turning you into a high value woman.
Relationships suck unless you’re with the right person. So why subject yourself with situationships and fuckboys if you’re not going to reap the benefits of a functional relationship? It’s better to wait.
INVEST IN YOURSELF. Paying for dates?! Nahhhh girl. Use that money for you. Put it in a savings account, invest it, pay for a course, travel...literally anything but paying for Trash Trevor. You’re giving him free puss & money?! Girl bye.
Block him. TAKE THE TRASH OUT.
If you’re not happy with your appearance, how can you improve it? Do things that make you feel like a Queen. Need a new hair cut? Need to start a new skincare routine? Need to hit the gym? Wardrobe upgrade? Do it! Do whatever feels good to YOU. After all now you’ll have more money for you and your needs.
Date around and see what it’s like to not date Trash Trevors and you’ll be over him in no time!

Good luck!

copingwithshit · 2019-10-30T00:31:41+00:00

Like seriously, almost everything you need is in the side-bar. Read the recommended books, especially Why Men Love Bitches. It’ll help you gain your confidence back, dump his ass, and then get back out there and practice. Most importantly, get rid of the pickme mentality. It’s toxic and degrading.

ino_y · 2019-10-30T03:13:30+00:00

Start pondering why you gave your love, time, effort, affection and nourishment to this loser who can't reciprocate. Why do you believe you're not worth that same effort.

All that time could have been spent improving yourself, and you would have been 100x more grateful. The self-help would have stuck, instead of being poured into the bottomless pit that is an emotionally stunted guy.

Put all your love and energy towards YOU. Until you no longer see "fixer-upper guy" as exciting, but disgusting and broken.

2019-10-30T03:51:20+00:00

I've been there and done that, was a trapped kept woman with one of these ugly assholes.

Does he have any redeeming features whatsoever? I'd assume not. At any rate, dump/no contact, this guy is draining you.

My past self... I'd have told myself to suck it up, yes you're lonely abused and no one cares - but that is better than letting in somebody merely PRETENDING to care so that he can manipulate shit so that HE BENEFITS at YOUR EXPENSE. And then focus on university study and work instead, and your friendships, rather than put him first.

M1nette · 2019-10-30T07:18:50+00:00

For me the only reason to get hung up on a loser would be if he was extraordinarily attractive which it seems he isnt, or because i need to be needed by him, which i suspect might be the case here. If you love to be needed you always end up being with guys who dont have their shit together and take advantage of you. You are not his mommy and you cant help or fix him. He is a black hole. Go and volunteer somewhere it will be more appreciated and healthier.

When i am fed up with guys and need a break from being social i turn to video games like "the Sims" or "dont starve". It is fun and gives you the illusion of control which is like therapy.

Running or dancing and listening to a "f*** him" playlist and reading "f*** him" quotes on pininterest helps, too. I am well prepared for every disaster! ;)

VeganRatGod · 2019-10-30T11:54:03+00:00

Ugly men have the MOST audacity

sojourner_truth_ · 2019-10-30T12:41:59+00:00

> You give ugly men one chance and they think YOURE the ugly one.

This is the realest analysis ever. I have the habit of writing a damned thesis to make my point, but sis broke this down in a sentence.

plembb · 2019-10-30T04:04:27+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeranPSlDyE

Shallon's videos really help me when I'm feeling shitty about myself in dating. Maybe this pep talk will help!

Title	How can I get over a bum-ass guy?
Author	pm_me_your_lizards_
Upvotes	15
Comments	12
Date	October 29, 2019 11:41 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/doyg1e/how_can_i_get_over_a_bumass_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-can-i-get-over-a-bum-ass-guy.724270 https://theredarchive.com/post/724270

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