I find myself being upset at the things I let a past ex do to me, mostly sexually. I feel used and disgusted with the memories even though it’s been months since I’ve even heard from him. My roommate just made a maybe too off-colour joke, referencing the sex act and slightly mocking my ex. It wasn’t meant as a harmful joke, just light ribbing. It just had a really shitty effect where I now find myself sobbing at the memories. My self worth is not my concern. I have a very healthy mindset now that I’ve had therapy and done research here as well as other online sources. But why does this still haunt me and effect my emotions so much? I feel like a whiner but I’m tired of continuing to allow this past mistake (meaning the whole boyfriend) continue to tear me apart. Help?

Edit: Thank you all for your advice and sharing your own experiences. I took all your advice - I sobbed in the shower, I journaled my experience as well as my intentions going forward - but the best thing I found was completely redecorating my room - I bought a new bed, moved everything around, put up new pictures and added a little good vibe corner full of beautiful things - my perfume, my jewellery, my candles, my framed stitch projects, my pictures of cats and dogs that I've known, my prized tchotchke collections, and anything else that brings me happiness. It really makes me feel more in control to have a space that is entirely out of his realm of imagination and he will never be a presence here again.