How do you stop seeking validation from other people, particularly men?

detectivejuicee · 2020-02-21T03:24:13+00:00

For me it was just a matter of finding joy somewhere else. Once I did that I didn’t feel like I needed to find joy in validation from others. Get some fun hobbies if you don’t already. This is just what worked for me so don’t take it as gospel.

AntiCircles · 2020-02-21T05:24:39+00:00

Invest in yourself and other women

ghygdryhchmmmmjj · 2020-02-21T05:06:18+00:00

Thinking about what you actually truly want. You have to shake off every single outside voice. It's not even what you think you aught to want based on pop culture. What do you really really want. Then believe you can actually do it and be willing to put in the patient industry. I used to not believe I could live my true dream life because I didn't believe in myself. Sounds cheesy but its true.

anz1e · 2020-02-21T07:39:46+00:00

For me it was getting to the root of my negative emotions about rejection (the opposite of approval). After what I felt like was a rejection from a date I spiralled and did an EMDR session where I dived into a very early feeling of rejection and abandonment as a child.

After working that out the need for male approval faded to the occasional old thought patterns that have almost no power over me any more.

galian84 · 2020-02-21T15:45:29+00:00

Some good advice here. What helped me was throwing myself into things and people I loved, that I neglected while being a pickmeisha in my past relationships.

Make some HVW friends (mine helped me so much), and surround yourself with supportive friends and family. Reading this sub helps immensely, too. You have to love yourself and know your worth. Do things that make you feel good...work out, join studios and try new classes, do something you've always wanted to do, learn a new language, see the world (if your work situation permits). Make a list of your good qualities.

You can only stop seeking validation from others when you learn to value and truly love and accept yourself.

Mollzor · 2020-02-22T14:12:12+00:00

My therapist told me that 75-80% of all validation must come from within. So I've started thinking that if I only have 20% to spare (to be received from others), who's validation do I want? Who is worthy enough for me to make their validation count?

Spoiler alert; not a lot of guys, and certainly not some dude from a dating app or similar.

youcantucan · 2020-02-21T07:46:48+00:00

You challenge your inner narrative and truly try to love yourself

ladytri277 · 2020-02-21T02:28:56+00:00

Validate urself

Title	How do you stop seeking validation from other people, particularly men?
Author	SureEmployment4
Upvotes	53
Comments	11
Date	February 21, 2020 2:28 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f74au8/how_do_you_stop_seeking_validation_from_other/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-do-you-stop-seeking-validation-from-other.681861 https://theredarchive.com/post/681861

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