How to identify a not-so-good friend

EmergencyShit · 2020-01-22T20:56:44+00:00

[deleted]

meecy166 · 2020-01-22T22:41:52+00:00

For me a bad friend would be someone that heard your woes, insecurities and sadness and then proceed to tell you how much better they have it, I remember talking to my friend about my breakup and then she told me how much better her ex was and how he is amazing, I also told her about how my mom isn’t good and then she began to tell me how her mom was amazing and her best friend. We’ve only been friends for a week due to school but I can access that she isn’t a good friend. Your friend doesn’t sound good either, she should empathize

extraacct1234 · 2020-01-22T22:01:51+00:00

There must be issues or you wouldn't be asking us this question. Are there other things that she's done?

kantarra · 2020-01-23T00:26:15+00:00

I think bad friends are pretty easy to spot as soon as soon as you ask them to help you, do you a favor etc. If they are never there for you, or super unreliable... waiting to confirm plans until the last minute. If you are always the one to arrange everything, reach out first (unless they are depressed or have another valid excuse). If you hear them talk badly about mutual friends or betray another person's confidence. If they expect you to always agree with them on everything. If they become verbally or physically aggressive. If they aren't happy for me when things are going better in my life than they are in theirs. Those are some of the main things that came into my mind when I thought about what I think constitutes bad friends.

I think one of the signs of a true friendship is when your friend is willing to tell you the truth as they see it, or tell you when they think you are wrong. Not many people are willing to do that, most just agree with you on everything. That feels nice, sure, but it's not very valuable. Not that what your friends tell you is necessarily something you agree with, but it does help you gain a fresh perspective.

I don't expect my friends to agree with me all the time. Some people are not the best at being diplomatic, could this be true of your friend as well?

What makes you think your friend might fall in the bad friend category?

honestgoing · 2020-01-22T21:16:14+00:00

Yeah that's hard to know.

If a friend said that I expect too much of them that would concern me. One of you is in the wrong if something like that is being said. Either she's being too sensitive or you're being too demanding.

I mean it really depends on what you're expecting... Are you expecting friends to idk pay for meals? Always meet you instead of meeting half way? Maybe using them as a therapist?

Expecting things like honesty, or dependability... Those should be expectations of all good friends.

Title	How to identify a not-so-good friend
Author	burtsbeesfan
Upvotes	22
Comments	17
Date	January 22, 2020 8:15 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/eshgxo/how_to_identify_a_notsogood_friend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-to-identify-a-not-so-good-friend.684227 https://theredarchive.com/post/684227

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