So this technically starts back in spring of 2020. I shall refer to him as 'John'. John and I met off a dating site and began talking rather quickly. Long winded conversations over the phone became the norm. It was early in the start of the pandemic, I was furloughed from my job, lonely but genuinely wanting to find love. We lived just over 2 hours from each other. Not ridiculously far, but farther than I really wanted. I certainly did not want a long distance relationship.

The first red flag was he had his profile set to private on the dating app....however could STILL message anyone he pleased. I swear this is a feature that caters to cheating married/taken men...is it not?🙄 Didn't think much of it tho, you know making excuses for myself already!

Fast forward to a few months of constant phone talk. Part of me wanted to meet but hesitant given the state of the pandemic. When we first started talking he had made it clear he'd come to my town to meet me. But towards the end he switched up. All of a sudden I should be driving to him because HE is still working and I am not. Small red flags became bigger. When we had discussed the topic of marriage and children, he couldn't come to terms with the fact I was 36 at the time and do not want children. He mocked me in a sense, told me 'every woman has the motherly instinct and wants children'. Then attempted to insult me by saying I would end up being an old cat lady old and alone if I didn't 😂 (Ummm why is this always the insult they throw out?! I'd rather be old and happy with cats than in a miserable relationship with some lowlife scrote...gee whiz?!) So pretty much after that I decided to cut contact. Only I didn't block and delete and thought I should tell him....not 'ghost' him🙄 I never went into detail why, I just told him we were done and that was that.

Well fast forward to February of 2021, he sends me a text out of the blue one day. Because...they ALWAYS come back, am I right? I responded something snarky about his ego and didn't get a reply back. I hadn't even thought of him at all up until that point.

Fast forward yet again to the day after Christmas 2021. Here he goes again. I wanted to just block and delete but here I go again responding. But I pretty much went off on him, and he wanted to 'talk so bad'. Now the worst part...I caved a few days later and gave in.

Again I start making excuses, 'maybe I thought too much of everything before?' and various thoughts. Umm nope! It was clear as day! So we start chatting on the phone again. Long conversations that just seem to flow....that is until he brings up his last 'relationship'. Or shall I say 'situationship'? Yet he wouldn't really refer to it as a relationship. He had told me about this woman the year before, tho he continued on with more about her once we stopped talking for that period of time. (Red flags now burning red)

Story according to John: So apparently John had met, we'll call her 'Lady C', 5 or 6 years ago before he moved out of state. They continued a phone relationship. She never came to visit him, despite him buying tickets (yeah, sure John). They never slept together (he made it a point to make sure I knew they 'never' had sex). Then his story continued with painting her as bat shit crazy. And how she ended up sleeping with multiple other men and eventually got pregnant. But let's remember, he was not 'committed' or in any 'relationship' with Lady C, straight from the horses mouth. YET starts getting really heated telling me, that her sleeping with other men affected him so much he actually said he thinks he needs therapy because of 'what she put him thru'. He also said he had NEVER seen her except when they initially met 5 or 6 years ago...not once in all that time, also that he had NO contact with her after finding out she was pregnant with another mans baby which was around winter 2020.

Ok ladies, so at this point my sixth sense was up. I already know where its usually headed once a man starts saying his 'ex' is looney toons(Red flag still burning hot) Here is where I catch him in his lie. I went on Venmo a few days after this conversation, something unrelated entirely. I guess since he added me as a contact he popped up on my main page. I start browsing his page out of curiosity. And there it is....June 2020 Lady C pays him not once but twice for food. Really sounds like they had no contact right?!

So I actually tried to bring it up the next time we chatted. Just asking did he really not have any contact with her at all? Because the story he told was just so bizarre and made no sense. ((Because he is straight lying about his past)) Well he brushed me off immediately. 'Why is this relevant? Why are you asking? I wanted to rid myself of this story years ago!'....oh really John? But you brought it up all on your own days ago🙄

So I started thinking what if Lady C has been in a relationship with John this whole time. Had no idea any of this was going on. I figure what do I have to lose, let me reach out to Lady C. If it was me I'd want to know. I find her on social media and shoot her a message. I also message her twin sister trying to get ahold of her. At this point I cut contact with John. He was texting but I wasn't responding.

A few days pass, John sends a text. 'Messaging them? You're really creeping people out! Unacceptable!' Then I see the sister responded to my message (momentsafter John's text).... right after contacting John. At that point I didn't feel like saying anything. It would all get back to him anyway. I blocked them all and was done with it. He tried calling me 20 minutes after that, blocked of course.

If you made it this far, would you have still told the sister or Lady C what was happening? I highly doubt Lady C is bat shit crazy like I said.

So let this be my lesson learned never, ever go back. Red flags are red flags for a reason. Always trust your gut. Men lying about their past is a huge red flag, never ignore!. And YES to the scrotes reading....lying by omission is still LYING.