I have had so many bad relationships with men that I’ve internalized that I just want to give up hope. I have definitely been co-dependent in the past but I’ve been in therapy for three years and actively working on improving and falling in love with me.

I do things for myself, I go out alone with no problem, I travel, I do yoga, I workout. I try to practice self-care but it feels like no matter what I do for myself it’s not enough.

The most recent thing my dumb ass did was mess with someone I used to talk to who said he’s in an open relationship, which was a lie I found out. It left me feeling worthless and dumb and it feels ducking hard to do the hard work - even when you’re committed to it. I’m at my wits end.

I’ve tried being celibate. I’ve tried not dating. I know this stems from childhood and self-worth issues but it’s just discouraging. I want to truly believe they’re the issue and not me but I have accepted the behavior in the past.