I know this may seem quite obvious, but it really isn't to many people. In the past, I used to value promises. I used to feel grateful when they'd say they fucked up and admit to it. I used to think being consistent sometimes was the best they could do and I should be grateful.

But it's manipulation. Men know that they're not doing enough and are hardly meeting the bare minimum. They know it's called the BARE MINIMUM, they just don't care. Women are so often manipulated into thinking it's enough if he says okay I made a mistake I'm sorry, however the inconsistency shows when he does the same mistake again and again knowing full well he shouldn't have if he'd learned from it/didn't mean to do it the first time. Men know that making empty promises is bullshit but we have been conditioned to believe it's the idea that matters (fuck that🙄, actions are what matter). Men know that when they admit to a terrible flaw of theirs that's actually a huge red flag, we will think "wow he's being open and vulnerable with us" but he's actually saying it to weaponize it against you later on "I told you I'm not good at X" "you know that I can't do Y".

Don't fall for words, look at their actions. You can't trust their words. They have to follow through and DO.