You may see from my post history that I’m pretty new to FDS. Until recently I’ve been in the camp of giving dudes a chance and talking things out with them, communicating issues. As if they listen, or give a fuck, or try to change. But a lot of what you women say is really resonating with thoughts I’ve been having lately about men. So to my point…

I was looking into good communications skills and conflict resolution type stuff; So I could bring up an issue with the guy I’ve been seeing. Anyway, I noticed a lot of it is stuff like:

  • Speak using “I” statements (own my feelings cuz my feelings are my fault)
  • Don’t put your (male) partner on the defense
  • If you use “you” statements you’re not showing appreciation for what your partner does do for you (you'll hurt his little feelings)
  • No one “makes” you feel anything, your feelings are your own, therefore you should speak from the “I”

Well, this is pissing me the fuck off. Why the fuck are healthy communication guidelines tailored towards NOT HURTING THE MAN’S FEELINGS. As if they’d ever have the thoughtfulness to look something like this up and use it on us. It’s ALWAYS going to be us telling them whatever dumb ass shit they have done. Why does all advice to fix anything have to focus on not hurting the fucking fragile male ego. I’m angry, my feelings ARE hurt because of something HE did. Whhhhyyy should I not address it as such?? How do you all do it when you need to tell a man to stop his shit (assuming you’ve got a high value one you intend to keep around)?

Do tell me, am I on a rant and too angry? Or am I onto something here? I’m asking the internet because I know I’ll receive honest opinions. Thank you for your time.