Is Pornography Use And Cheating Abusive To Your Partner or Spouse? | Betrayal Trauma Recovery

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XxShykatxX · 2021-03-18T02:40:50+00:00

If you think it's cheating with him looking at another woman naked on real life then why the heck would it be okay for him to see thousands of naked women on the phone screen? Why is the phone considered okay but the physically there not? It blows my mind the loophole they pressure us to accept to continue just pretending to have sex with a bunch of other women. 🤢

Fuckdoesithurt956 · 2021-03-18T13:50:33+00:00

I lived this. I used to post about it on an alt account.

My ex's porn consumption turned our love story into a horror story. I stopped mattering to him. When we spent time together on dates or holidays he was constantly scrolling through softporn on his phone and saving it. He never took pictures of me. His phone was 95% porn and I began to resent why all these nameless unknown girls mattered more than me. He never had an answer, he'd shout at me that I was just wrong and to drop it. He stopped caring about whether I enjoyed sex and reduced me to a tool, sometimes watching other girls whilst he fucked me. He refused to do any housework or planning so when I was doing it he would lie in bed watching porn, because I could see him jacking off. Even when I supported us financially he wouldn't do any chores in his own home. When we both worked from home, he would be up to 2 hours late starting work because he "needed" to masturbate before he could think, but then he'd bark orders at me all day telling me to do things he didn't have time for which interrupted my work and effected my preformance to where I lost out on a promotion. On video calls he took right beside me he filmed his female work colleagues because they were pretty. When he lost his job he would still wake up to watch me leave for my work, so he could masturbate in peace. He messaged other women and gaslighted me into thinking I was abusive because I "invaded his privacy". He never acknowledged me on his socials because he wanted to look available to other women. He isolated me from our friends so he could go clubbing without me, (literally: "you're not invited") and I used to stay awake all night even though I'd drink a whole bottle of vodka because my paranoia was through the roof because I knew he was going out to cheat on me. He cheated on me at least 6 times I have proof of, one which he filmed (and he didn't use protection, putting my health at risk) and I have no doubt that there are others.

He told me time and time again that he would cut down but he never did, he just got better at hiding it. Once I found evidence he was using my laptop for it, and I confronted him because it was so disrespectful. When I pulled it up, he grabbed my hair by the scalp and forced me into the floor so hard it bled and my ear was bruised black. That's not the only time we got into a physical altercation.

The whole time he would say I was the problem, the prude, sex and love were completely separate things and it didn't mean he didn't love me, that I was just jealous and controlling and needed to get off his back. He made me feel like my bad attitude was destroying our once perfect relationship. I put up with so much abuse because I was desperately trying to save us. I cleaned his house and did his personal admin and sometimes work admin because I thought he'd be nicer to me if he was less stressed. I went along with degrading sex acts because I thought they were his needs, even though I disgusted myself and felt used like a tissue. I tried to starve myself to get skinny but I actually developed a binge eating problem and my weight skyrocketted because I was drinking 3000+ calories 3-4x a week to numb all the hurt.

Pornography use, cheating and everything that goes with it: lying, deception, gaslighting, hostility, rejection, withholding affection, 100% abuse. But I never actually thought it was abuse, or that I was being abused. I'm so glad this is finally being recognised.

Title	Is Pornography Use And Cheating Abusive To Your Partner or Spouse? \| Betrayal Trauma Recovery
Author	Bravenpeace1384
Upvotes	63
Comments	8
Date	March 17, 2021 7:18 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m7885f/is_pornography_use_and_cheating_abusive_to_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/is-pornography-use-and-cheating-abusive-to-your.1191004 https://theredarchive.com/post/1191004

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