I will be 29.

One of the biggest things I have had to come to terms with in regards to getting older is shaking the narrative that I should be settled by now. And I know this comes from some very deep-rooted internalised misogyny.

It doesn't matter how many guys (many a few years younger than me) I've had available to me. It doesn't matter that I've been engaged in the past and I know I can do it again if I want to. Something has always nagged at me that I should have found "the one".

And then I had a thought a few months ago - is this 1860? Am I Scarlett fucking O'Hara? People used to marry for financial security. I have a job. I can make my own money. I can support myself. The only people who are telling me that I need to settle down yesterday are the scores I have rejected. It's like their last effort to get me to lower their standards for them.

I am so young in the grand scheme of things. All of my friends who've gotten engaged may end up miserable like I was after I got engaged. Finding a man is not the finish line. And I am so mad I bought that narrative for so long.

This year I don't plan on actively looking for dates either. I am focussing on my career, my degree and my fitness. This is the first time in my life I feel comfortable in my own skin, like I can set boundaries without feeling guilty and speak my mind without hesitation. This is the first time in my life in which I've made career/life decisions that do not revolve around a man. There is absolutely zero way I will let someone ruin this because it feels so much better than any relationship ever has. This sub has helped a lot with this mind set, even though I back-slid a little last year. Thanks ladies!