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TullyPride
[–][deleted] 51 points52 points53 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
For me, I've never had a problem making girlfriends, it's keeping them that's hard. I typically make friends at work, but I move so often, it's hard to keep in touch...
[–]jetpatchAt-Risk Pick Me Youth8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That's not your fault, that's modern life unfortunately. Facebook used to help but I try to use it as little as possible now.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, it's hard out there for a G. FB and Instagram just became more of an anxiety trigger, so I deleted my accounts a while ago.
[–]sterne_arctiquePickmeisha™️24 points25 points26 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not having a mother definitely made it hard for me to get girl friends. I had a fantastic father and three brothers and always felt I didn’t belong among women.
Plus what movies/tv shows depicted as “women friendship” always seemed so dramatic and shallow that I never was really tempted. It always seemed to revolve around being pretty or not. Meanwhile my goal in life was (and still is to a certain extent 😂) to be an adventurer and a super hero.
But at 30 now it’s much better! I’m discovering a whole new kind of friendship. It is amazing how women got each other’s back. There is no support like the support of my girls. They struggle with the same struggles I have, understand and share solution. They are hilarious and faithful and so strong.
Seriously, I can’t believe I gobbled down these lies all these years. Women aren’t strong?!? Go talk to them! Women navigate an extremely hostile world, very often internalized this whole women-belittleing mentality, work so hard for so little money and no recognition, while doing all the house duties, the mental charge (groceries, doctor, dentist, schools) and being sexually assaulted and thrown down the stairs by jealous husbands.
And still, they themselves think they aren’t strong!
Ah! I got carried away. Anyway I can’t get over how women are awesome and I’m so thankful I came to my senses.
And this group feels good ❤️
Thanks Queens
[–]moonchild2998FDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I don’t understand women who don’t have women friends.
If you’ve never gotten together in a big group of girls and just lifted each other’s confidence, you are missing out
[–]dumbroadFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
high school bullying trauma/isolation. i'm getting better at making girl friends now, but basically i went to a school with like 30 girls forever and used to be apart of the friend group then got exiled and racist bully harassed for ~2 years and it completely destroyed my ability to feel comfortable around other girls.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
When I was younger there was still a lot of pick me behavior and internalized misogyny among women – I would dare to say much more than today. I was always very friendly with women and had a lot of female friends when I was younger but in high school it kind of became a different battleground. It just seems like a lot of insecure popular girls competing to be the best, prettiest, and get all the guys. I was a bit of a stoner back then and an athlete (I know, what a combo) so I naturally gravitated to hanging out with guys a bit more simply because of my hobbies. But I was never one to talk shit about girls or act like I was better than none because I was hanging out with guys.
The girls that thought they were special because guys were hanging out with them weren’t aware of the fact that they were just trying to have sex with them by making them feel like they were included LOL.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How did you find the guys treated you - did you feel like a genuine friend to them?
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Honestly yes. Probably helped that I was dating one of them for a really long time. Even though they were kind of stereotypical douchey HS dudes… But I mean most teenage guys are pretty shitty LOL. We played pickup b-ball all the time after school and smoked before school in the AM. Lived within walking distance. I know it’s rare but it worked somehow. This is also before social media so idk if that makes a big diff. I’m still super close to one of them from the group to this day- from 25 years of friendship!
The girl equivalent of that group of guys was always around when we had parties and stuff and I would definitely be a social butterfly and interact with the girls. But day-to-day hangouts we’re mostly with the guys because of my boyfriend being one of them and just a lot of shared interests like watching sports etc. I grew up really athletic from a professional sports family so it was a big part of my personality at the time, and still kind of to this day.
I have more female friends now that I’m older though!
[–]BovvsetteFDS Disciple17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Reminds me of those „me vs. other girls” memes, but with a twist. I am just like those other girls, because girls are awesome!
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You were great in the Twin Peaks revival!
[–]drusillalunarose 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've always gravitated towards traditionally masculine things, the family 'business' was joining the military so I did at 18 and became an aircraft mechanic. I noticed a lot of pickmeisha behavior from women troops who were trying to survive and be accepted because of how cutthroat they are to women. (I still cant believe I put myself through 14 years of the worst of male behavior. If you can imagine it, it happened to me or I saw it with my own eyes)
There was a huge culture of pitting the few women against each other and creating jealousy for A: the entertainment of the males. And B: to keep us from communicating with each other (think telling each other who was f#ckboys, and comparing notes on sexist things that were going on)
I decided that I was going to value my relationships with women in my workplace beyond all others and network with more outside my immediate work center so we could take care of each other. I've been out for years now and those are still some of the most important relationships I have in my life.
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]TullyPrideFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Same. I've had like 2 actual guy friends my whole life, maybe 3, and one was in elementary school lol Most guys seem to want lots of acquaintances rather than close friendships and that sounds exhausting to me. I don't have the mental energy for that many relationships where the other half isn't very invested in it. And most guys only ever seem to want to hang around women if there's a chance she'll go out with them 🙄 Not worth the drama.
[+][deleted] 6 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]jetpatchAt-Risk Pick Me Youth3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Women are naturally agreeable. You show up with your own rules they will at the least put up with you. I'm the same, I don't fit with female culture. Now I just make sure I show up and there's always a talker who wants to find a listener.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Are you under 30? I find this changes drastically once we get older.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanFDS Disciple5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Agreed! I think women at 30 realise that they wasted so much time on men and we tend to band together, become more secure in ourselves, and value our female friends more.
Yeeeep that’s a big part of it. We really got dealt a shitty hand. As though being teenagers wasn’t hard enough, then we have these internal battles with ourselves in our 20s. That’s why I think subs like this are really helpful for women. Every so often I will see a post that makes me raise an eyebrow and I can tell it was posted by a woman who is young and still sees other women as mainly a threat to “their man” or their pursuit of a relationship. It’s pervasive mostly in threads where some will say never to date a man who has female friends. I think after we turn 30, male/female friendships are completely possible. Also, getting away from that possessive type of mentality can really help young women stay away from toxic relationships!
[+][deleted] 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Give it a couple years. Even at 28 I was vastly different than I was at, let’s say 30 or 31. Seems crazy that there could be such a difference in only a couple years but I started hanging out with more educated and hard-working people in their 30s and made fast friends with all kinds of different women. It also helps to change your mindset and how you perceive other women as well.
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[–][deleted] 51 points52 points53 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]jetpatchAt-Risk Pick Me Youth8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sterne_arctiquePickmeisha™️24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]moonchild2998FDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]dumbroadFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BovvsetteFDS Disciple17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]drusillalunarose 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]TullyPrideFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (6 children) | Copy Link
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[–]jetpatchAt-Risk Pick Me Youth3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanFDS Disciple5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link