So...I've been seeing a guy for 3 months. He's only 4-months post-divorce although, according to him, the marriage "ended long ago." No idea what that really means. So far, he's proven himself to have what I think might be warning signs of an LVM: started out strong with amazing dates: romance; candlelight; long talks; great sex.... but it all soon dwindled into, "Hey wanna come over to my place after work?" He does make me dinner; still lights candles; still the long talks and great sex. But we never actually go out on dates anymore. And we have these great, at-home encounters maybe twice a week.

Other things he doesn't do: walk me to my car when I leave his house. Hold my hand, even though I've clearly said I'm a hand-holder. Spend money on me, even though he's wealthy. Remember a couple of key points in my weekly schedule that are important to me. (i.e. It's not important to him to remember what's important to me.) Has sometimes flaked on plans we've made and completely forgotten.

Other things he does do: brought me flowers and cooked for me when I was sick. Intelligent, thoughtful, unhurried conversation--sometimes for hours--leading up to sex. Adapt his playlist to what he remembers I like, when I'm there. Is a great dad to his kids, which makes me see that he does have character.

A little context: he was married 30 years to 1 woman and hasn't dated much before or after her. After polling other FDS-inclined friends, I'm getting mixed messages. Can someone help me sort it out? Is he:

  • an LVM who's putting in the least amount of effort possible to secure a fuckbabe?
  • a man who's truly clueless about dating, in that he thinks it's a great idea to have me hang out at his place for a few hours a couple of times a week, have great sex, and then barely stay in touch in between?
  • normal in that after 3 months, twice a week is a perfectly reasonable frequency for seeing each other?