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Pinklepurr1
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[–]Practical_AppearanceFDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Good for you girl. I'm a separated but not yet divorced yet woman (tomorrow is my court date for the divorce!). This is something that should be mentioned BEFORE the first date.
You are allowed to have standards. Don't want to date someone who is married or has children? DON'T! Fuck his feelings, put yourself first.
[–]pickmieshaexorcistFDS Disciple18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
I trust separated women far more than separated men, because of how each process breakups. Women more often than not are fucking DONE by the time they separate. Women grieve the death of a relationship during the last leg of it, as they give their exes all the chances to hear her. Men OTOH complain of being blindsided by their wives leaving and so hurry to fill that wife-shaped hole quickly because their grief has just begun. So he’s more than likely still hung up on his ex wife.
The supposed “walk-away wife” syndrome exists because of this.
ETA: all bets are off for either gender if their former relationship was constantly off-and-on and very volatile. Trust, they’ll always go back!
[–]Practical_AppearanceFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
This is true. I walked away after taking reasonable measures to save the relationship so by the time I actually left, I was done. Ex still messages me occasionally but I ignore those mostly. It has been a year and a half and I am very happy with the new man in my life.
[–]pickmieshaexorcistFDS Disciple9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I really hate the term “walk-away wife” because the underlying implication is that she just walked away for no reason. Females! Who knows what they think! 🤷🏻♀️ /s
I much prefer “driven to her limits by years of stonewalling and disrespect until she was finally forced to walk away to regain her sanity” wife.
[–]Practical_AppearanceFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And that's still what many friends and family think. That I just walked away. I did it to regain sanity and respect for myself
[–]pickmieshaexorcistFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Me too! Why would I leave such a “great guy” for “no reason”. I actually ended up telling a particular nosy person that if she thought he was so great, well, he’s single and she’s welcome to him.
[–]Pinklepurr1FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Actually I don’t like that he never had kids and is 42. I will only date men that have been fathers at this point as I have my own kids and think there’s too much difference between us. He’s been a bachelor and I’ve been a mom for 20 years now.. But yes I agree with you. He should have mentioned it. Next time I will ask straight out, wasn’t worth an evening of time to find this out
[–]Practical_AppearanceFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Some people are childfree but if that is something you prefer then that is 100% okay too! There are some non-nonnegotiables in life, and those things are worth asking about before the first date. That's what the whole vetting process is about.
[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
When I first met my narc ex (he was early 40s, I was mid early 20s) he literally didn’t tell me he was still LEGALLY MARRIED aka sEpArAtEd (also lied about his age) until almost a month of us exclusively dating. I was blindsided. And then he had the audacity to tell me it was nothing to concerned about and that I was ridiculous for not trusting him. So I decided to go on a website where I could talk to men and get money because I was a broke college kid (it was strictly platonic) and he constantly needed money from me. Then he shamed me for doing it while also taking my money that I earned from it and how dare I do that because that’s cheating. UH I only had feelings for him and I did STRICTLY for money and talked to these men like we were friends and blocked all the weirdos AND even let him see all the messages.
Manipulated and naive me wasted years of my life with that pos. He didn’t officially divorce her until half a year into our relationship. These men have no moral ground to stand on when messing with a woman’s true and genuine feelings. I’m so glad you didn’t entertain another date. I wish I did. And now I have still a lot to work to do from undoing his abuse through therapy. Now I have an amazing career, making a lot of money, wonderful friends and family, and things are looking great.
Separated is STILL MARRIED. You deserve better. Don’t be like me.
[–]Pinklepurr1FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes!! I am so sorry. There are way better men out there...
[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Aww thanks sis. For sure 💕 thank you for sharing this!
[–]janatztxcxxxFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
As woman who never married before, I always wondered why non married woman would date divorced or married man unless he provides financially. That’s just straight up degrading.
If I don’t have any records of divorce in my books, I expect the guy to be same.
[–]Pinklepurr1FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not sure how old you are but I’m divorced. I’m looking for someone divorced or widowed. With kids. As I have my own.
I am not interested in a 45 year old unmarried man, that’s a hot mess waiting to happen ... people that wait that long usually have major major issues
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[–]Practical_AppearanceFDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]pickmieshaexorcistFDS Disciple18 points19 points20 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Practical_AppearanceFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]pickmieshaexorcistFDS Disciple9 points10 points11 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Practical_AppearanceFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]pickmieshaexorcistFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pinklepurr1FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Practical_AppearanceFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pinklepurr1FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]janatztxcxxxFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pinklepurr1FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link