Reminder that we can make different choices, support each other, and still raise healthy children! Mommy wars is another form of cultural misogyny that pits women's ambitions against each other. Both are valid and amazing mothers!

FurryBellyButt0n · 2020-07-04T17:55:27+00:00

I hope we can get away from the sexist trope men created between "SAHM" vs "Working Mom" because it's very REAL among all my mom-friends even today, but thankfully they have the awareness now (unlike the 80's-90's era IMO) to be more aware of the power of sisterhood and not pin women against each other. "Mommy shaming" though is still very real in different forms.

Howslap · 2020-07-04T18:41:47+00:00

Yes! All that matters is that you foster a healthy, safe space to nurture the children. Who the hell cares how it happens as long as it does? People are really focused on all the wrong shit. How about we focus on the porn epidemic?How about the fact that social media is causing rampant depression amongst the youth? How about human trafficking? People really love policing women and their choices but hate giving that same energy to shit that is really ruining this world. SMH.

FDSxMuffinVSrat · 2020-07-04T21:30:40+00:00

I don't judge people for being SAHMs but I'd be very very very careful about it. You have to trust not only that your partner can provide, but trust that he won't be a dick and hold it against you to ever feel superior. It creates dependence like nothing else, and pregnant mothers are already at high risk of abuse.

I guess I just view it as risky, but not a bad or wrong choice. Then again, given that I don't want kids myself, it's very easy to point to the potential flaws in a plan I will never execute.

pineycitrusforest · 2020-07-05T02:32:46+00:00

Speaking from experience, being a SAHM can easily put you in a very vulnerable position. Make sure your spouse makes bank so that if you have to leave, you can afford to. Money is power.

yggiwtmiih · 2020-07-05T01:10:56+00:00

I imagine being a stay at home mom is hard af. Traditionally you're a house keeper, personal chef for a family, full time child caretaker, personal chauffeur (school, activities, health check ups), and personal assistant (scheduling doctor's visits, meeting with teachers, grocery shopping, buying clothes and necessities for others, laundering).

Any one of those things is something a person can make a full career out of (day care alone is expensive af), and men who don't understand how difficult it is to do all of that make it incredibly obvious that they've never done any of the above for themselves or others. (I can guarantee they've never thoroughly cleaned a whole bathroom from floor to ceiling, let alone while watching a toddler or baby.)

I have plenty of respect for them, though I hope they'll be wary and pick the right man and have some financial back up in case of death, divorce, or unexpected abuse.

EuphoricImagination2 · 2020-07-05T15:46:49+00:00

I am a better parent when I work and have a job to go to. I could not function as a SAHM. I have friends who are the opposite. I thrive with a short deadline for things, a long list of things to do, and zipping around town. My SAHM friends thrive with making schedules and making projects.

I will never understand why we are supposed to hate each other for it.

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