I've always wanted to make this post but I kept holding back because I felt like once I started, I'd never stop and I'll TRY to keep this short. Plus, 'complaining' about being stared at in public is always a touchy subject because no matter what, even if there was actual assault involved, the girl never gets sympathy. It's ALWAYS just 'humblebragging'

But then recently, I started seeing posts about being stared at, unflinching, unyielding stares from creepy middle aged men, following, blocking the way.. and these posts described how they'd be wearing baggy clothes, or as one post said what she calls her invisibility cloak, like a huge coat or something. So it doesn't even matter what we do or wear. It's so frustrating that we even have to establish this

Like it is an undeniable scientific fact that unflinching stares in very close proximity is unnerving to a human, it is biologically perceived as a threat. Every female knows the feeling, and how men use this as a tool of intimidation and dominance, just to bother and threaten girls just because they can. I'm telling you, men who try to downplay this and think we're overreacting, if a man stood next to him in an elevator, perpendicular to the doors, just to be that close to stare at the man and just keep staring and staring, that man would start a fight. Even if the man staring is a shorter overweight older man. It's unnerving. And that may sound like an absolute ridiculous scenario if you were to describe that to a man, even empathetic understanding ones like your friends or family but they will think no human would act like that in public - except I bet at least more than half of us here have experienced this exact thing

So I won't share too many personal details but basically I've picked up this hobby that changed my life. I'm a completely different person now. Because of a more difficult past and childhood, I used to be scared of my own shadow and just constantly wanted to hide in a closet or something. But this hobby empowered me, showed me how much autonomy I have over my own body and how I can be out and enjoy my life, and experience the kind of joy and elation this hobby gives me. But I've basically almost succumbing to agoraphobia and it makes me so mad because I feel like I'm so young and it's such a waste of my life, right when I just started to live it. And it's taking one of my most precious source of happiness and self esteem

Because these absolutely disgusting porn sick middle aged men who can't stop standing close to young females, who can't stop themselves from following them, watching and staring constantly even when with wives. I single out middle aged men specifically because I noticed that any other age group if you look at them, they feel creepy or startled and look away. Middle aged men are the most entitled disgusting degenerates who don't have the self control to act decent in public. Who lack such self awareness that they have no business staring and being absolutely preoccupied with a girls 30-60 years his junior, that this is not porn come to real life- so she is uncomfortable and wants nothing to do with you. But they literally lose their minds because they truly believe in their hearts the sick porn scenarios they desperately jerk off to is about to happen before their eyes - this middle school to 20s something girl is an absolute nympho and needs his dick NOW and this level of delusion and lack of self awareness IS DANGEROUS

And before this sub I would drive myself insane why, WHY can't these men act right? They're in public. But after learning about porn addiction/sickness everything made so much sense. Plus just for my own sanity I had done a ton of research to figure out WHY, and the explanation that made most sense was the fact that when men look at females reward chemicals are released and like testosterone so they feel manly and good about themselves. I feel like the men who pick out young/vulnerable (alone) girls in public to do this to are a combo or one or the other and I feel like women can collectively break this behavior so no more young girls have to be out in public uncomfortable, self esteem being crushed constantly knowing that this is just 'the female experience' and their discomfort and complete disregard is normalized.

(of note, I do live in a dense city so this may not be as prevalent of a problem for other ladies here that need such urgent solutions)

It has to be things to make them realize this is NOT PORN, this is real life.

  • We're not trying to take away "their penis reason rights" so they can be porn sick if they want, but when they're in public they need to realize the girls they're gaping mouth dead eye staring at don't want this attention from you, don't want to be followed, or have to be forced to be polite when you get in their space and try to talk to them
  • Solution? For me, as soon as I sense it, I go out of my way to suddenly stop and let them pass you. Or around a corner out of sight or turn my head in an obvious way to indicate active avoidance. Don't let these men in cars insist on waiting for you to cross the crosswalk so they can watch you the whole time. Get out of elevators if it's just going to be you and an eager middle aged man you sense is about to talk to you/stand close. I feel this causes intense sudden confusion and it shakes them out of it back into real life

Negative association - a behavior to make them feel shame or a sense of rejection

  • Every time they gleefully leer at young girls, make attempts to get close to smell and leer they feel good, they get all these chemicals boosted, at the expense of a young girl they have no business creeping on. I absolutely despise the way the male-female age gap is so normalized. It has really made me want to never get married or have a partner. It's like being a lamb that's aware of the slaughter ahead. To know that men are conditioned to see females as interchangeable instead of the value of commitment, love, companionship of partners of the same age, spending their lives together..
  • Solution? The most common place I experience this is at crosswalks. They'll stand a couple feet on my right or left and be facing me staring, even though that's not the direction of traffic - I've gotten into the habit of deliberately standing this way so I know they can't use that as an excuse to turn and stare that close to me, the entire time. This doesn't work. So now I stand directly behind them a few feet away, which forces them to completely turn around and hopefully that added barrier could snap them out of what they're doing. It doesn't really work. Most of the time they try to do a quick casual glance right shoulder, left shoulder. It used to infuriate me but what's effective is staring right at them expectedly - because they almost always do make an attempt to turn around. They think they're being so clever and the girl so naive and vulnerable, that they can smoothly sneak stares and then are caught off guard when it turns out I'm fully alert and aware

But that's all Ive been able to think of and I'm afraid I'm going to let this really debilitate me with social anxiety/being in public. I really loathe admitting it, that I feel weak and can't help but feel threatened, or too weak to just to be able to ignore it, like I've been told a million times by any male loved one in my life. I really have tried so hard but it feels overwhelming and insurmountable when it's just constant and incessant and I don't want this kind of thing to affect me to the point where I give up my hobby/waste my life by isolating myself.. but I see this happening so much, and with really young girls like middle school/high school. And I remember going through that at that age and how much it's negatively impacted my self worth as just a human being

For those who have actually made it to the end/have suggestions thank you, for real. And if not, anyways I feel so much better having gotten some of this off my chest

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EDIT: Sorry to clarify I didn't mean to make this a young girls only situation - I mean young and old in relative terms. So a 40-something year old women vs a 55+ man trying to hit on her, staring at her, being preoccupied with her instead of leaving her alone to be able to pursue someone her own age/preferences. The whole point is I hate the way men are SINGULARLY obsessed with finding a younger woman, and there seems to be no line for 'too young' - only the legal age of consent because they're forced to by law but you know they'll go younger
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EDIT: thanks for the reply guys! I do feel tons better at least even getting it all out. So I obviously typed it out in a blind rage and hurry and I get a DM and I click on this username and of course the sub they're most involved is MGTOW, etc.

So old creepy man who stares and stares and think it's perfectly normal for his disgusting degenerate self to hit on and want to be with girls 15-50 years younger than him. It's absolutely so disgusting like how do we stop this? How do we get these old men to understand we DO NOT WANT TO INTERACT WITH THEM EVER. STOP PAYING ATTENTION TO US. WHY IS HE EVEN LOOKING AT MY POST IN THIS SUB? WHY IS HE EVEN LOOKING AROUND IN THIS SUB. I don't get it.

How do we get them to be stop being so obsessed with women who don't want anything to do with them? And it'd be one thing if these men loved and cherished women (who don't really want to date them) and were obsessed and paying too much attention. These men CONSTANTLY. talk about how much they hate all women and want nothing to do with them. What is wrong with them then like GO AWAY SAGGY SCROTES

https://preview.redd.it/hayv8pr2zqk41.png?width=286&format=png&auto=webp&s=2618a3f4314d3d2310907803eeb691a429ff9a25