Suicidal thoughts

IlikePez · 2020-07-18T02:56:48+00:00

Every day is a brand new day. No lie, that's how this life works. We get as many "do overs" as we allow ourselves.

The past is not where you live now. You live today, and there are endless possibilities inherently possible just by waking up each morning.

Today I just want you to ask yourself a simple question, no pressure, no wrong answers. "What do I like?"

Tomorrow, think about that question again. And try to think of some more things.

curlygirl507 · 2020-07-18T02:56:47+00:00

Hey! *hugs* I'm so sorry for what you've been through, but you are going to be okay. The ultimate goal of life is to grow as a person to the maximum extent possible, and this is just part of your journey of self-growth.

Toxic men destroy women's lives all the time. You recognized what was happening and got out before it was too late. You should pat yourself on the back, consider going to therapy, and consider going on antidepressants, both of which are very common, helpful things. And if you really are feeling suicidal, please call a suicide help line.

2020-07-18T02:56:20+00:00

I’m sorry you’re currently not in the ideal place you want to be with life. It sounds like you have a lot of trauma you need to heal. Don’t worry, you can do it, but it takes time and patience.

I would suggest starting with regular therapy. I would not be dating at this time. You can read the handbook as guidelines on how important it is to vet people (not just romantic relarionships) and how to establish boundaries.

strainedcrow · 2020-07-18T11:03:52+00:00

For abuse and trauma, EMDR is really great. Idk if you've heard of it but it's therapy that's got so much research to back up the effectiveness. I'm currently doing it rn and in the process of getting my old self back inna way, though I know it will never be the same, I can feel safe, secure and worthy again. Men, especially abusive ones, will suck your soul until you're as empty as they are. I'm sorry you went through that. It also ended for me 2-3 yrs ago and I still get flashbacks. You most likely have PTSD if your body is responding still with feeling literally sick and suicidal thoughts are happening. I really hope you can get the help you need. Know that you're not alone and you have sisters who went through the same thing. We are still here together. We can get stronger and we can get back to feeling and being okay again. And they will continue being soulless forever--they can't get back what they never had.

BlackCatCz · 2020-07-18T02:50:40+00:00

I'm not very skilled to help with things like this but find a therapist and surround yourself with people who will help and support you. Don't give people who hurt you any power over your life. There's men who thrive on hurting others but there's no fun for those men when they are completely forgotten.

painmakesyoustronger · 2020-07-18T14:22:24+00:00

This is why leveling up is a thing. You must level up to shed the skin of who you were and reveal your inner HVW.

So many evil men have tried to break my spirit. I now wear my scars with pride. They only made me 10x stronger once I got back on my feet.

OrchidLion · 2020-07-18T15:02:09+00:00

I'm sorry you're feeling this way and experienced such trauma. I went through trauma at the hands of a scrote as well and one year later I am still unhappy with my life. However, I will say that I am a lot better than how I was even just a few months ago. I used to have dark thoughts and used to cry for weeks at a time. It's been a year and Im healing everyday and noticing that I think about the past less often. I still have bad days but they have lessened in intensity, frequency, and duration.

What has helped me was EMDR therapy, and getting out of the house and going on fun trips and into nature.

EMDR is what really took be from being depressed for weeks at a time to being depressed maybe a few hours max at a time. I highly recommend it.

I also made a big bucket list of what fun stuff I have always wanted to do like go skydiving or cherry picking, or things I've always wanted in general like a teddy bear or a cute purse or whatever. And I decided to go and do those things. I urge you to do the same because you and I both deserve joy and peace and happiness in our lives. We deserve not to be miserable. We deserve to feel good feelings.

I know we're both still stuck in the negative emotions but we are allowed to have moments of relief from it.

I think creating the life you want to have is going to be a big part of your healing process, as it is for me.

Aina98 · 2020-07-18T15:17:02+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Cognitive-behavioral therapy will help.

Orphanedpinkpetals · 2020-07-18T15:03:59+00:00

7cups of tea.com and betterhelp.com Also, when you feel triggered immediately do something that gives you joy. Also, look up breathing techniques for grounding. Weighted blankets can help w grounding as well

Periperimayo · 2020-07-18T16:39:51+00:00

You are amazing for every single second you've spent the past two years no longer living that life with him, even if you don't feel it right now.

I'm in a similar situation, almost two years out of an abusive relationship which destroyed my life.

I also still feel crazy intense shame and self hatred.

Learning how to live with somthing that although it is no longer still happening, still has such a real and strong effect right now is really really hard and you should give yourself credit for this ♥️

Everyone is different but the following things have helped me:

CBT I didn't find all of it useful, but challenging automatic negative thoughts was a massive eye opener. Especially when I realised that I was calling myself the same things that he used to call me. So using the CBT process to challenge these horrible self deprecating thoughts, was emotionally like telling him to fuck off out my head each time.
Writing In a notes app I write my stream of consciousness when I feel like I can't cope or can't sleep. I 'dump' there all the worst thoughts I have. I've been able to look back over these notes the past two years and see how far I've come even when I don't feel it right now. And I have been able to more easily identify things that trigger me from reading stuff back at later date. I've learnt SO much about myself by self analysing.

-EMDR After almost a year on a waiting list I started EMDR sessions about 5 months ago, luckily been able to carry it on via video link since the virus. It's a very effective technique but it is really hard and I regularly get a sick feeling the night before because I don't like having to relive this stuff again and again. But it's genuinely helped to decrease the number and severity of nightmares and flashbacks. Worth a try, but definitely make sure you have a way of self comforting post the sessions as they can be very draining.

-Reading Learning about 'coercive control' and that abuse isn't just violence made me understand more and blame myself less. Books like "Woman in progress" by Jessica Taylor and "the recovery toolkit" by Sue Penna, I'm slowly working through as they are self help and changing the way I see it all which is helping me move on.

-FDS This space and this approach to not just dating but levelling up in life for our own sake, has been so powerful in giving me a framework on how to move forward in life. We are all in this together and all deserve to level up and be only with someone who respects us and treats us well.

I'm normally more of a lurker and I never meant to write out this massive essay but I hope it helps. All the replies in this thread have been amazing to read ♥️ this whole community is wonderful.

Title	Suicidal thoughts
Author	blandjessica
Upvotes	27
Comments	13
Date	July 17, 2020 10:09 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ht525c/suicidal_thoughts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/suicidal-thoughts.714472 https://theredarchive.com/post/714472

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