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[–]futuristicallyangryFDS Newbie82 points83 points84 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Can't stress upon this enough. It's very important to dissect how a man is listening to you and how he refers to the things you've told him later. The men I saw seemed to be great listeners but they turned verbally abusive and made personal attacks during conflicts. Just because a man is a good listener doesn't mean he is showing effort, it has a totally sinister effect. A good example of a good listener would be someone who remembers what things bring you joy so they'd bring something you would like, for example, if someone searches and gets salted caramel chocolate macarons for you based on the one time you told them you had the best salted caramel dessert at a party. A guy who says "well it's always something about your estranged father" or "well didn't you like the spotlight on you that day?" During a conflict or anything super gaslit or twisted, run. He did it once, he will do it again. A guy once called me a "druggie" in a fight based on how I had told him I am taking anti anxiety medication. You can already guess how I dumped him.
[–]fireforestfairyFDS Newbie48 points49 points50 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah there are some psychopaths out there. Unfortunately, many of them are good at faking empathy which is why so many people end up as their victims.
[–]textbasedpanda16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
But how can you tell the difference before it gets the the point when he attacks your weak points?
[–]sahu_FDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not to ever reveal your weak points. Save that for your friends or therapy. I've seen similar advice on here by other users, to keep those things to ourselves that could be used against us or used to weaken us.
[–]atuanFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. I thought he was asking questions because he had curiosity and really wanted to learn about me and my knowledge and interests. He only wanted to stroke my ego and then when things turned bad made sure to say humiliating things whenever I asserted a boundary.
[–]orangechickengeneralFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And that is why we don't share our weaknesses or vulnerabilities with men. That's what therapy and friends are for.
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[–]futuristicallyangryFDS Newbie82 points83 points84 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]fireforestfairyFDS Newbie48 points49 points50 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]textbasedpanda16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sahu_FDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]atuanFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]orangechickengeneralFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link