emotionally immature, stunted, underdeveloped. like a 5-year-old in some aspects. "simple". "I'd rather throw punches than discuss my feelings" type of man.

no self-reflection and no psychological depth. all the energy is placed on satisfying the reptilian brain desires (eating, surviving, sex, instant gratification). oh, but he knows that being all instinct and territoriality won't get him far. so what he does best is emulation. he knows how to appeal and he knows to exert enough pressure to pass. and when he passes, something always happens that this passable, barely decent persona, like a poorly executed papier mache mask, doesn't hold on for too long.

he does or says something. or he doesn't do or say what is expected of someone that presumably has their shit together. in the end, you realize it all boils down to their instant gratification and getting their own way. the satisfying of their wants - usually confounded with needs - usually means the complete and total disregard of your rights.

like a 5 -year-old who stomps their foot when mommy doesn't buy them a hundredth toy to discard after 2 minutes of exaltation. it's not even cute when a kid does it... why would it be when an adult male resorts to these tactics?

and all the time you're trying to remember when (and if) you signed up for this because last time you checked, you didn't. sounds instance when you think about it. oh wait! it is!

"I think you don't love me," he says with the same finality a sentence is drawn.

what you do not know is that at that moment, his underdeveloped, "satisfy pulsions at all costs" self is attempting your reeducation. his expectation of you is to jump as if burned and start pleading with him "oh baby! but I love you. let me demonstrate!". it's almost like he wants to make you into the perfect tool to scratch his back (and other things as well) with no regard to what *you* might want.

he knows that he'll be listened to and heard when he opens his mouth to voice such a brazen statement but then again, he doesn't dispatch the same courtesy to you. I mean... why would he? he already gets so much without bothering to treat you like a human person so why would he start now?

you can open your mouth all you want, if it's not for his use, then he tunes you out.

this is why, cOmMuNiCaTiNg is and will be used against you because guess what, he's a "simple guy", he told you what he wants (even though it changes from day to day, moving goal-posts, yadda-yadda). it's you the one that has to figure out how to communicate with him. you either didn't do it enough or you say too much and it's never the right thing (because it changes, remember?). but it all boils down to how this communicating of yours is useful to him so that his mimicry of something human with intellect and emotions (in the way you think it is) gets him what he wants.

so...are you a tool or not? are you game or not? did you start twisting yourself into a fusilli?

baby? you there?

"I think you don't respect me," he says as if drawing another vicious conclusion. *as if* - at this point is useless since he already knows the ways of how this "conversation" should go and if they go the direction he planned, he is going to get what he wants. I mean, he goes through life as if you owe him anyway so what's wrong with some (more) pressure?

he already made up his mind and it's your job to twist into a pretzel to prove him wrong. it means that you will start proving to him: "see? I respect you! voila!" so you now start walking on eggshells and doing extra because anything (and I mean anything!)might trigger these judgments of you.

he's a self-appointed judge, jury and executioner and you don't even know what you're accused of, baby, so yes, start proving. better, scratch that! this is a dictatorship and you're either game or not! any sane individual will know this is their time to get up and leave. participating in this insanity is only going to make you look more guilty, more... "nor loving enough", "not respectful enough", more.. not enough. and you can never be enough, not when you're face to face with a black hole that chomps down on reason.

but you stay. and you know what follows? oh, you never expected this one, baby, but I assure you it's not gonna be the last hurdle.

"I think you are cheating on me."

at this point it could be "you're a cheater", "I feel like..." or "I think that..." but when you twist yourself to demonstrate that no, you're not, and you are this close to becoming a certified German Brezel (and it's not due to yoga!), the last thing on your mind is that, baby, it's you the one that lost it! he tosses and turns you and puts you in the boiling water and from the pan you're into the fire and 'why the hell are you still alive?!".

this man is simply testing for spaghetti (aka shit test). are you pasta or are you basta?