Conformity, masculinity and resentment

Fan_Service_3703 · 2025-02-02T19:07:47+00:00

"Positive masculinity" is just the same conformity but framed in a positive light.

NonbinaryYolo · 2025-02-03T00:34:56+00:00

It's weird as fucking having grown up in the 90s, and being taught gender roles are oppressive, gender roles are oppressive, gender roles are oppressive, just to see where we've landed in the 2020s.

Like holy fuck.

alterumnonlaedere · 2025-02-02T21:06:26+00:00

I believe in the simple principle of the freedom of men to set their own course in life as long as it doesn't exploit others; To be sexually promiscious or celibate until marriage, without being called an Incel or a misogynist; to be athlethic or to be scholarly: to be introverted or extraverted; to be into arts, and to be into crafts; to be religious or nonreligious: to embrace tradition or break the mold.

In other words, encourage men to go their own way. Men Going Their Own Way is Men's Liberation.

alphonsus90 · 2025-02-03T00:54:31+00:00

If my understanding of the concept is correct, "positive masculinity" to these sorts is when you're a lapdog who never demands anything out of anyone ever most of the time but a hero when a protected class of person needs you. Is that a valid assessment or am I off base?

LankySeat3310 · 2025-02-03T01:20:15+00:00

I think too many people but a focus on positive or toxic masculinity when neither of them are a thing. .

Men very rarely ever expect men to conform to hegemonic anything. One thing that a massive majority, the majority, of men want is freedom and seek is freedom in our homes, in our lives and in our relationships.

These days we hear hateful phrases like " Man up" More from women and unless you're incredibly out of touch with reality If you speak to a lot of men especially in men's mental health support groups including some private support groups and even group therapy organizations they will tell you that a majority of the abuse they have faced has come from female role models and authority figures in their lives and that when it came to bottling up their emotions it started NOT with other men but with WOMAN. This isn't to blame all women it's simply reality for many of us, a majority of us even.

I have a background in psychology and early childhood development and something I've noticed is it's not often bad men that make more bad men. It's bad mothers, abusive women, etc that turn men into people that are more callous and cold, and unwilling to open up and embrace the nurturing aspect of being a human being. Nurturing and warmth, a willingness to protect and build? Those are not female traits or male traits those are HUMAN traits of connection. We are social creatures that often crave connection even if it can be in very different ways.

Men are not the ones who want hegemony (patriarchy light) men are not the ones who seek this controlling state with an almost bureaucratic feeling.

No, most human beings do not seek that.

Leisure, love, and survival are what are important to many men. The problem is is that most people aren't actually trying to get to KNOW men.

No aspect of masculinity is toxic, toxic masculinity and femininity do not exist. There are good and bad traits in all people and some choose to exemplify the good while others choose to exemplify the bad. And then there's a thousand combinations of all of that. Some people are just jerks, while other people turn to toxic traits as a survival method from consistent abuse.

And this is not to excuse those, even when it's reactionary abuse, because I understand it as somebody who had to come to that fork in the road.

If I am a man, who despite my disabilities, is told by ignorant feminist and the world that I am stronger than women. Then I have a choice after being consistently violently abused by them I can turn into a monster and level their happiness and their existence, but then I would be like just every other bad person in history. Knowing the damage that I could supposedly do, theoretically by their logic, I chose to do something entirely different. I became a monster that would hurt people who hurt innocent women and children. I became a monster who would hunt and harass and stop predators and those who would hurt women, whether they were male or female and have even pinned down assailants until the cops arrived in the past. And I share this because it makes me think. Despite the overwhelming abuse of women I was still doing what I wanted to do, and what some men crave. Protecting, living my truth, living freely as I could in spite of the pain.

Men are good, we don't wield any real power, we wield the ability to take things into our own hands.

The rest of this is pretty vague but I will leave you with this quote

" Contrary to popular belief, the strength of a man exists not in what he could destroy, but what he can create, how many he can hold, and what he is capable of protecting"

Everything outside of that is just radio static created by ignorant narrative group that have never lived a day of their lives in the real world sheltered from any real oppression while crying that it exists only to them !

Johntoreno · 2025-02-03T02:05:54+00:00

As someone that grew up in the early 2000s irreverent&cynical culture, i feel like a dinosaur these days. Back in the day, being a conformist was like having a kick-me sign on your back. Its trippy how the new generation now has more in common with my parents in terms of how they're so much more straightlaced than millenials&genX.

Lets_Remain_Logical · 2025-02-04T03:59:41+00:00

The funny thing is that: masculinity or femininity are concepts that just can't be universal. They are bound to the culture or the subculture.

I live how the feminists are trying to set a standerd and decide what pen should be or should do or not do,as trivial as the way of peeing, while claiming "my body, my choice".

I am so disappointed in this world!

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