Alcoholism

mgtowguynow · 2017-05-14T04:21:30+00:00

I cut back and switched to tea. Really only drink on social occasions now. It can be tough, and you really have to want to quit.

For me I just fucking hated hangovers.

ancap-biochemist · 2017-05-14T06:02:12+00:00

I imagine kryptonite. You can't operate on Superman without kyptonite to weaken him, such that his skin can be cut. Sometimes, on a few rare occasions, a man needs to be weak in order to deal with something that he's too strong to deal with.

For instance, I had a pretty crappy childhood and was institutionalized for suicidal behavior twice (thank the gods that I did not know then what I know now about chemistry, otherwise I'd easily be dead).

It wasn't until I became a hermit, homeless, poor, and isolated (with no electricity and no distractions) that I started to deal with my shit. I had to become weak and defenseless.

I realized that many of the distractions in previous years were due to avoidance of the painful (but necessary) work that I had to do. For months I would contemplate and exercise. I stared into the abyss.

When I was done, I reinserted myself into society and had a newfound focus and drive.

All the distractions were to avoid pulling off that band-aid. Dealing with/thinking the thoughts that I didn't allow myself to have was the healthiest thing I've ever done.

I had to humble myself as a consequence.

I had to face my mortality as a consequence.

I had to disown my mother as a consequence.

I had to destroy previous moral idols I held as a consequence.

I had to build myself up from nothing as a consequence.

It was painful, and I'm glad.

And now, I'm better about dealing with things as they arise because I lost many years avoiding the necessary work of a few months.

Never avoid doing that which is necessary.

Killing your brain is avoiding the necessary thought.

Ddb63443 · 2017-05-14T04:21:01+00:00

It could be of great benefit to have a confidant who you could call up when you feel the urge.

If you truly don't have anyone. AA could be a savior for you. The health consequences of chronic excessive alcohol consumption are myriad. Cirrhosis, Esophageal varices (do you want to vomit up blood and essentially drown in a mixture of your own vomit and blood ala Jack Kerouac?), aspiration pneumonia, partial or full thickness tears of your esophagus from violent wrenching, Helatocellular Carcinoma, Esophageal Squamous Cell Carcinoma, internal Hemorrhoids. I could go on, but I think I'm making my point.

Long story short, although these things may not happen to you, the effects of excessive long term alcohol can and have killed many people.

It is never a moral failing or sign of weakness to seek help from a medical professional and/or support group. In fact, I'd recommend that you contact your primary care physician about this.

Heck, I'd be willing to bet that a support group of former alcoholics exists on Reddit.

I have struggled with alcohol abuse in the past. I know what it feels like to drink so much that I vomited up food for two days straight. I faced my problems head on and am so much happier for it.

I know what the struggle is like, and I can tell you I have seen many men in the local VA hospital with many sequelae of long erm alcohol abuse, you don't want to become one of them.

Be strong and dont be afraid to ask for help.

Morb357 · 2017-05-14T04:04:01+00:00

I quit drinking 7 1/2 years ago. I tried everything to "control" it and, well you can't. Your drinking habits will come to the surface eventually so you have to quit. Swallow that pill and accept it. Now you have to envision your life without alcohol. This means you may have to cut certain people, places, and things out of your life while you readjust. It's the people (drinking buddies), places (hangouts), and things (football, cunts), that trigger the urge to drink. Figure out your triggers. Boredom is a common one.

I was up to 16-18 beers at a session 2/3 times per week. It didn't take overnight but as I kept envisioning my life without alcohol, I was eventually able to quit and stay quit. Now I can be around drinkers and not feel tempted but that took around 3 years for me to get there. During these 3 years I tried to keep busy--kinda like going MGTOW. I took up guitar, MMO gaming, tabletop RPG's, work, school, volunteer shit whatever. Just keep your mind and hands occupied when you feel the urge to go to the store. This urge subsides in 15-20 minutes so hang in there for that time.

I don't recommend AA or any 12 step program. These are self serving cults and they do more damage than they cure and they are full of gold digging cunts, white knights, simps and cucks.

BTW it took around 7 months of "envisioning my life without alcohol" before it took. During that time I drank as normal (for me).

I was a hard core binge drinker for around 20 years so if I can get sober without a program, anyone can. Good luck and I mean that.

Ddb63443 · 2017-05-14T04:00:32+00:00

Do you have a strong support system? I don't necessarily mean AA. Someone close who either you can be completely honest with, or who has similar struggles?

Diam35 · 2017-05-14T04:42:42+00:00

I've had addictions. For me, overcoming that was about control. I asked myself if I wanted to be in control, or controlled by addiction and habit. I decided I didn't want to live that way anymore.

Beating addiction is about accepting the current state of your life and visualizing what you would rather experience. From there, you have to change the way you think in general. That begins with noticing and making connections between your behavior and the resulting experience that you no longer want. Only you have the power to change the way you react to expetiences.

We cannot change the behavior of others, but we can become masters of our own. If you succeed in changing the way you think your behavior will begin to change, perhaps slowly, perhaps abruptly, but understand that temptation is real and it can suck you back in. Recognizing that is,paramount to avoiding it. Once you change the way you think, your behavior will change. Your experience must then also change, in time. There is no instant gratification. These processes are intertwined, they are under your command if you choose to accept responsibility for them.

You have done this before, and you are beginning again with this new obstacle. You have got this. Good luck on the path.

chester444 · 2017-05-14T05:58:37+00:00

OP, this is a great post. Thanks for having the courage to start this discussion. I've been in a similar boat myself. I'm honestly not sure whether I'd call myself an alcoholic or not, but the drinking issue in general has come up for me, at various points over my life, from time to time. Now that I've been divorce raped and have a young child (who I love dearly but thanks to the family court I get very limited parenting time with), the drinking issue has taken on a new perspective or significance for me.

I also have mixed feelings overall about AA or other 12 step programs, and I agree that they seem to be filled with white knights, simps, cucks, etc. I've participated in them before and I remember having walked away from some of those meetings thinking that the only common theme is these "men" (manginas, really) who say "we are fucked up alcoholics, and its a good thing we have these wonderful women (wives, girlfriends, etc) in our lives to set us straight, or we would really be screwed up beyond repair, so we had better make ourselves right, so we are again worthy to be around these wonderful women" .....seriously, that was the shtick or the vibe that I got from those places, and it made me so nauseous I never wanted to go back.

Because I literally think part of the reason that men drink so much is precisely because of women, and everything about them discussed on this MGTOW subreddit that makes men go MGTOW in the first place. I'm not kidding on that at all. I'm a heterosexual guy, like most of us here, and if I could eliminate my biological attraction to women, I think that I might also be able to make a pretty sizeable dent in my appetite for beer, as well.

I dunno, I'm kinda rambling here. I really like beer, and I have really liked it for a long time. I have gone thru periods (several years) where I have drank lots of beer, and I have likewise gone thru periods (several months) where I have not touched a drop of alcohol. I really like the idea of a support group for this, within the context of the MGTOW subreddit, since I strongly suspect this is a common theme for lots of other MGTOW guys out there, as well. As mentioned by /u/Ddb63443 and by /u/Diam35 (OP), perhaps its a good idea.

verynormalsimple · 2017-05-14T09:27:20+00:00

I had problems with alcohol for short periods in the past, some months drikning half a vodka bottle a day just to sleep although it was unrelated to relationships and stuff, I used it more to cope with an abusive job where they didn't even give me holidays. I still was a social drinker which led to regrettable situations, my body's reaction to alcohol was becoming increasingly more problematic due to lack of self control. I stopped drinking altogether around 2 years ago and it was a great decision. I lost interest in meeting with a lot of friends though since most of my close circle only get together to drink and I don't have any interest in meeting or talking to drunk people now, sometimes I go to birthdays and parties but only for 1 or 2 hours (until everyone starts getting drunk) because I simply can't stand being near drunk women, they're disrespectful, nasty and trashy.

chadgonemgtow · 2017-05-14T09:29:49+00:00

I was drunk from about 19 years old until I was about 30. At some point I looked at my life, I had a lot of fun memories, had banged literally hundreds of bar skanks, and was a party legend. I had also squandered the best years of my life, wasted thousands and thousands of dollars, had no real career momentum, had been treated for STIs a bunch of times, I had spans of two and three months that I had no recollection of at all, and pain of injuries I had no idea what had happened. Also, I felt like complete and absolute shit every single day. Oh and I had cool new features, like shaking hands, memory problems, and vision issues.

So, I decided to change. Detoxing is no fun. The DT's suck. Withdrawal sucks, social withdrawal sucks. But after six months, I started to feel... good. My head was clear, I could focus. I didn't get any help or join any programs. Just self discipline. I still drink once in a blue moon , holidays, my birthday, etc. But never to the point of extreme intoxication.

Now I fill my time with hobbies, reading, exercise sometimes. I never miss it.

Ananda_Arahant · 2017-05-14T11:27:56+00:00

Go to an AA meeting, and get a sponsor. It may not stop you drinking, but it'll ruin your drinking. Eventually, you'll stop, and you'll have grown significantly as a human being.

At least, that's what AA did for me.

archeruscanga5 · 2017-05-14T09:16:27+00:00

At one point of my life i had it all. Nice, car, girls, parents were proud. I was a functioning alcoholic for the longest. It eventually caught up to me. Totaled car, lost my job, lost my Apartment. As bad as it has gotten there is still hope. It's better to rehab while you still have your life somewhat together. It's hard but it's worth it.

Ddb63443 · 2017-05-14T04:35:10+00:00

Well you can certainly keep me in the loop man. We may all be going our own way, but that doesn't mean we can't help each other on our journeys.

I get the logic, but TBH those awful diseases are never a concern until they happen.

I'd suspect that among our community in particular, many have struggled with alcohol. Maybe we could all come together and make a support group.

Edit: difficult to spell correctly on my cell phone

Worunn · 2017-05-14T05:10:56+00:00

Stop drinking. Problem solved. You are a man.

gahj · 2017-05-14T06:12:13+00:00

I drank most weekends from 14-22 or 23. Much prefer weed/psychedelics, I encourage you to seek out, for a lack of a better term, a mystical experience.

Psychedelics allow you to take things that normally occupy the foreground of your life, the busy not so important things and replace them with what normally flies under the radar. For me it helped me quit drinking and smoking, I literally felt like I was putting death into my body. You know you're hurting yourself but you lack the urgency to stop.

So yeah switch to another drink like tea is a good suggestion from someone else, I find it fun to go tea shopping sometimes and bring back a lot of variety. And find a strong reason to quit I suppose. Hope you can do it, I feel 1000% better waking up.

Joel928 · 2017-05-14T06:30:56+00:00

I had a similar experience for many years involving an ocean of IPA and watching challenging art films (as opposed to playing video games which I quit 20 years ago). I developed an association with the two that was hard to break - like drinking beer and watching football for those that didn't go to art school.

Looking back at that time in my life I was profoundly unhappy with my profession and trapped in a passionless relationship, but I wasn't fully aware of the severity of my unhappiness at the time - as such, you actually may be depressed, as I was.

For me, habitual drunk art film watching was an escape from this depression, and it actually made me feel quite a lot better about myself - that is, until the next morning.

Sounds nutty, but I actually watched hundreds of films this way - most of which to this day I have very little recollection of. Like gaming, this was a titanic waste of time.

Drunk gaming, for you, is escapism - focus on what you're escaping from, and fix that. You're likely treating the symptom (alcohol) and not the disease.

48LawsOfFlour · 2017-05-14T06:35:31+00:00

You could wait it out. I hear most addictions have a natural life span. I think I read that alcohol's is about twelve years.

You could address the root problem. See a therapist, maybe? You were probably undervalued in your youth and you've cemented those positions in your head. Or you just saw that behavior and picked it up that way. You deserve better than alcohol-- you might believe this logically, but you need to believe it emotionally too. This is fundamental "water is wet" type stuff and it takes a lot to rewire these beliefs.

Or you could pick up another addiction in its stead. Just make sure it's something that's easier on your body and doesn't cause problems if(when) mixed with alcohol. This is what will inevitably happen when you expend a ton of willpower to quit.

Sorry this answer is depressing. Addiction sucks. Good luck.

Mefic_vest · 2017-05-14T07:08:16+00:00

I might be just a little bit odd for a variety of reasons.

I am particularly resilient to addictions because of my ability to procrastinate on almost anything - including things I actually want to do. Many times I am prevented in doing anything to excess simply because I am too meh to actually do it to excess.
I am unable to get truly drunk because I express only a partial gene that makes the protein that converts the alcohol (a poison) into that which makes you drunk. Think Asian, without actually being Asian. While I can get tipsy, I progress quite quickly into active nausea. Fruity and sweet alcohols like schnapps bring me the furthest into tipsiness, dry liquors get me sick the fastest.
I don’t actually like the feeling of being tipsy. I suspect I would like the feeling of being drunk even less, were I able to achieve that state. My preferred state is to be mentally sharp. I hate having a clouded mind.

These three “features” have meant that I have never drank to excess, ever. Don’t get me wrong - I like the taste of many alcohols, and will happily imbibe. Just never to excess.

anal-gland · 2017-05-14T07:37:11+00:00

I have had alcohol issues in the past. I do not recommend Alcoholics Anonymous has a solution. I am currently on 16 days of no alcohol. But I am not doing Alcoholics Anonymous this time. I am doing it now by keeping and maintaining healthy habits. Alcoholics Anonymous was something I did for one and a half years. And I feel like I should I wish I could have that one and a half years back. I was completely miserable while being sober from drugs and alcohol. Not only that but I was surrounded by a bunch of self-centered, egotistical pricks. Buy a bicycle, go to the gym, play video games and try new things that you have never done before. Really and truly you have to want to stop drinking. It got to a point to where I could not stomach alcohol. I switch from hard liquor to trying ciders. But I just don't feel like drinking anymore. I am in the same boat as you are I have epiphanies that make me realize I need to stay away from alcohol completely. But I also feel like self control trumps any sort of excuse of an addiction.

asillynert · 2017-05-14T08:11:59+00:00

Honestly it depends on the person some "if they have any in house it will be gone that night" others can sip on a single beer entire night once or twice a year at social events.

If you can't control yourself, and find the consequence of drinking to much stop outright no beers on Friday no exceptions. And be careful with other drugs if your wired for alcohol dependence your probably wired for addiction on other things.

Its tough but it was a bad thing watching one of my friends pretty much lose everything. What he didn't wreck or break was taken because he couldn't work even when he had money was too blitzed to pay bills.

Before he got to that, it wasn't a problem. Even for a while past that he couldn't see the problem. Very much just sit here sober, screw that attitude. It wasn't until he lost license, raked up enough debt that hes probably going to be giving his social security check to debtors and working till he is dead. And its fines and stuff from state "friends and familys vehicles he wrecked" not stuff you can just toss aside with a quick bankruptcy.

Evaluate your triggers is it certain friends is it certain activitys. One of his biggest struggles was cutting these things. He would have friends that drinking is what they did together. Reestablishing a new dynamic didn't work. It wasn't until he started changing his routine and things that got him drinking that quitting stuck.

Alot of people don't understand addiction think everyone's like them. We actually understood each other alot better afterwards. Because he always thought I was a big pussy for not drinking much. And I couldn't see why anyone would struggle for me it was meh. But for me nicotine I do not know if I will ever find it in me to quit. I did for a year and every day all day ALL I could think about was nicotine (I literally had a almost erotic dreams about nicotine and when I started again for like the first week each time I would have nicotine I would get a raging boner) . Him he did nicotine for a year stopped no patches no complaints. Everyones wired different.

shadow1118 · 2017-05-14T08:14:59+00:00

I was a severe alcoholic man, went to rehab, went and go to a bunch of AA meetings. the thing is , alcohol affected me very bad, i got into a lot of trouble with it, crashed a bunch of cars, dui etc. if alcohol is affecting your weight and work performance than its affecting your life negatively. I've learned a happy person doesnt need to drink , brother. Find out why you want to drink, yea it feels good, but is there another reason (look deep within). for me its because my mother abandoned me growing up so I was filling that emotional void with drugs and liquor. hope that helps.

BukM1 · 2017-05-14T08:56:23+00:00

Nope, i have the odd beer when i play videgames in the evening but its never usually more than about 4 pints (at max).

beer just makes me tired and lethargic, if anything drinking is more a chore than anything else.

junk food on the other hand, thats my poison so i can sympathise.

the answer is however (and you know it)

KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF DUDE.

ENJOY RESPONSIBLY OR NOT AT ALL

YOU KNOW THIS

Pope_Lucious · 2017-05-14T09:49:03+00:00

I'm a recovering addict bro. Not gonna get preachy on you so don't worry. Two things that helped (still help) me the most was meditation and exercise. If you want to give meditation a try, there are apps available for guided meditation. I use an app called Headspace everyday.

OldRoad · 2017-05-14T12:18:23+00:00

Be really careful with that, and talk to a doctor about it if you can't get it under control on your own. I have known people whose lives were ruined by alcohol. Don't let it happen to you.

I'm lucky that I'm one of those people that doesn't have the alcohol gene, or whatever it is. Once or twice a month, I might get one or two big cans of beer from the gas station, at the end of the day, then I go home and drink while watching TV, and I have a nice relaxing good night of sleep. In fact, sometimes I'll go much longer than once or twice per month before having alcohol again.

But even someone like me, it makes sense to be careful. I'll give you an example: I was trying a more healthy diet, and I had read that a certain amount of red wine every day was healthy. So, I worked that into my diet. Well, something started happening to me that had never happened before: I found myself starting to look forward to that red wine every day, just a bit too much for me to be comfortable with it. I cut that red wine out of my diet so fast. So, even someone like me, that doesn't tend toward problems with alcohol, needs to be watchful.

When you have a video game weekend, at least try sticking to stuff like pizza, fast food, and/or soda (unless you have diet restrictions on those). They aren't good either, but I believe they are much safer than alcohol.

HandyManDan90 · 2017-05-14T12:23:04+00:00

Alcohol is poison. It was designed to be drunk by weak peasants.

So what are you?

NeverNeverLandIsNow · 2017-05-14T12:27:20+00:00

This may sound weird but weed helped me pretty much cut my drinking down to an occasional beer or wine with a meal. There are no hangovers and if you vaporize you eliminate many potential issues, and interestingly the longer I am off the plantation I find myself even doing less of the weed, now it is mostly a weekend thing.

I do think you need to start finding hobbies that don't lend themselves to drinking or smoking, having activities that you can focus on that are not harmful will help a lot. Playstation is fun but let's face it drinking and PS kind of go together so maybe find other things to do as well. (Not saying don't play PS I do it myself, just saying it might help for a while to do other things while you are trying to get the drinking under control)

Volcanic-Penguin · 2017-05-14T13:35:35+00:00

Last time I was drinking I ended up getting the shits and the pukes at the same time next night. I'm not crazy about getting drunk in general to be honest.

Solstus22 · 2017-05-14T14:03:20+00:00

I puked three times in a social occasion.

I was told that's what happens when you don't eat breakfast and you fill your empty stomach with alcohol.

Best advice:

Try switching it with something else; pop, juice, water. or if you can't help it; have another type of alcohol but mix it with another non-alcoholic drink.
Drink it ONCE IN A WHILE, as South Park's Stan Marsh said "You love to drink? So have it once in a while. If you spend your time avoiding what you love, you're actually letting that control you and you haven't had any self control." Remember disaprine (discipline) is the key.
Usually having a bad moment with alcohol ex. throwing up usually is a helpful reminder not to overdo it, or that looking up that too much drinking can kill you by poisoning.

brotherpotatos · 2017-05-14T14:50:45+00:00

Exercise is the best thing I have found to substitute a bad habit. When you see the gains you are making, it is more encouraging than ever. The thing is, you need a habit to replace a habit. Sheer force of will might not be enough.

Ayy-Mayy-ZoSuperwoah · 2017-05-14T15:13:36+00:00

I struggled with alcohol when I was about 22 to 24. An abusive woman gave me what they call "complex post traumatic stress disorder". I drank purely to keep my mind dull enough that the memories were less prevelant/frequent. I was able to to have a normal day without emotional pain when I had a buzz on. Had to drink it every day, and it got to the point where I was doing it at work. Pretty quickly though I could tell it was going to kill me, or I'd be caught and it would ruin me. Then I started drinking so much that in my mania, at the height (or depth) of my stupor, I got a little bit suicidey, which I already was during the day so this was clearly not helping. This happened a few too many times. I got onto Codiene (Tylenol 1s), which if you drink while on it, you very well may die, which was a great motivation to not drink, plus the euphoria eased the need to mix it with anything else. Plus it curbed the hangovers. After a few months, I had withdrawn completely. IMO, getting off opiates is much easier than getting off alchohol. Those are incredibly addictive though, and are no laughing matter. They're a thing all their own. But I got off them. Now I'm dead sober for almost a year, and I work out whenever I feel down. I am now in the best shape of my life. Still get flashbacks and they are quite painful, but I never feel the urge to drink. One step at a time.

DenyHerYourEssence · 2017-05-14T19:51:40+00:00

When it comes to alcohol, I've heard that the best measure of whether you are drinking too much is the set of resulting consequences. If you are trying to lose weight or do a better job at work, and the alcohol is interfering with those goals, then you need to cut back or stop drinking completely.

IslandicFreedom · 2017-05-15T03:36:49+00:00

You have a drinking problem and it can't be cured by traditional quit methods.

I'm just going to say AA is also a waste of time and a shit fest with a 4-8% success rate, which is a piss poor statistic.

Only way to fully cure your problem with alcohol is a holistic paradigm shift in your outlook in life. Basically the brain is like a computer. It has an OS (Your programming), and you need to flash the bios.

This method cures you in such a way that you don't think about alcohol, or if you do, you think about it in the same way you think about toilet cleaner, certainly nothing you would voluntarily drink.

If you want to know more, I'll do a post dedicated to this reprogramming.

I figured it out on my own and it's free.

SwiftScott · 2017-05-14T09:00:44+00:00

Have you been put on any medications? About five years back I was put on Paxil (Paroxetine) by a shrink that I was seeing at the time. I ended up having bad cravings for alcohol for the next three years. After I took myself off the meds the cravings stopped after a few months. Turns out that I may have had SSRI induced alcoholism. I gained a shitload of weight while on that poison and it took me the better part of the last two years to put myself back together and who knows what long term damage it may have done. In fact I just developed some nasal allergies last year. I don't know if that had anything at all to do with Paxil but, it has kept me from drinking so much. If I drink a six pack too quickly then go to sleep I wake up after four hours and can't breath through my nose. I still drink, just not very much. All this has also caused me to exercise a lot more since it helps with the nasal congestion. Wish you luck man.

Diam35 · 2017-05-14T07:10:32+00:00

Guys, I've never actually tried that... What /u/Morb357 suggested (wait 15-20 minutes until the urge starts to subside) I have a pretty good will power, so I will try that. The thing is, I had no reason to try it. I mean, what the fuck are you supposed to do on a Friday evening?? you go get beer! <--- that is my problem. In fact, I don't even think it's a problem at all.

FleshPanda · 2017-05-15T04:35:40+00:00

10 year bartender. Alcohol is one of the worst things you can ingest, for alot of different reasons. I say everything in moderation. What you should absolutely not do is sit at home alone getting shitfaced all the time. It creates a really destructive pattern and it can consume your life. Hey hey hey smoke weed every day.

Title	Alcoholism
Author	Diam35
Upvotes	29
Comments	71
Date	May 14, 2017 3:53 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/6b21j8/alcoholism/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/alcoholism.588574 https://theredarchive.com/post/588574

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