Hello to you all.

This post has no pearls of wisdom, or even anything you've not seen already. But it is a textbook example of female nature and adds to the already extensive list compiled here. I merely wanted to type out my story, see it in black and white and maybe feel some catharsis from having got it off my chest.

Two months ago my wife of 6 years (together for 11) told me that she no longer loved me as she should. She couldn't explain why she now felt more like I was a brother, just that she didn't have sexual feelings for me anymore. In the interests of honesty she said she had a crush on someone and that was what woke her up to something being wrong, she didn't want to be a cheater so it was better if we ended it now (hypergamy in action, but at least she had the decency to do it after we split rather than behind my back).

I always worked more hours than her, paid the bills on time and kept a roof over our heads. I did more than my fair share of the cooking, cleaning and childcare, whilst she always had some excuse to not lift a finger (think headaches or upset stomach). If I was visiting family I had to take the child with me and leave her at home, to give her a break. But when it came to seeing her family, I had to go along too, to entertain the child whilst she had quality time with them. We both did degrees recently, the plan was for me to get a teaching job, allowing me to take on the majority of the childcare/housework role (which I didn't think would be a problem since I was already doing it) and for her to study a Masters degree and get into counselling (making her the defacto breadwinner of the household). Regulars here will see the red flag, but I was not yet aware of these things as problems to a woman and talked often of our future together (possibly the first chink in the armour of our relationship?). I foolishly let her quit her job in the final year, so that she could focus on her studies as she was 'struggling' to do both. I carried on working and nearly put myself into an early grave with the stress of combining work, studies and all the housework I was left alone to do. Finally I had a nervous breakdown and was prescribed anti-depressants by my Doctor. The beginning of the end, in hindsight.

~As an aside, I eventually chose to quit my studies. She'd already dumped me by then, as she knew that I would always earn less than her even if I had succeeded, so I figured what was the point in fooling myself in continuing a course I hated just to keep up with her.~

Post break-up everything is still all about her. As she now has no job and can't afford to move out (her dad's house has no spare room for our child so she won't accept that as an option) we are still living together. Despite her decision to leave me, she still won't actually leave until she has secured a job (or another beta provider). I moved out, but only 2 weeks in I received a tearful phonecall whilst at work begging me to come back because she couldn't cope. Naturally I don't want to see my son suffer through her lack of skill in maintaining a home, so I came back. Now I am in some weird limbo, where I have to share a house with a woman who admitted she doesn't love me and is actively seeking my replacement. The day she finds a job and I can get the hell out of her life can't come soon enough.

Yes, I was (and still am) a beta mangina, trying my best to placate the hellbeast who always wanted more and never contributed herself. Who showed her true colours when things got too hard for ME to deal with. Part of me wishes I had come across this sub a long time ago, so it could have been me to see the way it was heading and end it myself. My pride certainly would have been better for it. But as it stands, I find myself in the position of having tried to do everything that THEY tell you to do to keep her happy and it still not working. I endured 11 years of misery and, looking back with clear eyes, I was never truly happy. I just thought that the best way to be a man was to sacrifice myself for the benefit of others. But really it should be to focus your energy on yourself and accept the rewards that come your way from that process.

Sorry for the rambling pity party. Reading it back I feel pathetic.

Finally, to any young men reading this post, who haven't already made up your minds to go your own way, it's all true.... The feminine urge to replace you when you show weakness, or if your earning potential drops below theirs, is definitely there. And it is savage. Get out now, whilst you still can. There is nothing here for us now...