Depression after going MGTOW?

ZomCom13 · 2018-09-17T06:52:21+00:00

OP, I get what you're saying. I'm in my early 30's, and MGTOW appeals to me as an Enlightening way of life partly because when I was in my 20's as a Blue Pill, I've been slamming repeatedly against the wall hopelessly pursuing the Almighty Pussy on a Pedestal and always coming out worse for the wear. Once I finally got my GF sweetheart at that age and thought I'd settle down with her, tragedy strikes as she turned out to be an AWALT whore and I got cheated. After that, I wandered the desolate dating lifestyle and attempts to get with other women, and it was worse than before. I've dated cheaters, gold diggers, and bitches that wanted to use me as a Beta Bucks sucker. I finally reached my breaking point, and decided all these ridiculous efforts are for naught, and decided to save my time, money, sanity, and health and temporarily say goodbye to the dating scene, and to stop having uncertain plans for family, kids, and a wife which the world seemed so hell-bent in destroying at every twist and turn. For me, MGTOW is not the end-all be-all, it's a temporary choice until I piece together my life Exactly the way I want it, with no distractions from awful women taking up my valuable time and money. Once I am ready and if I meet the right candidate as Mrs. Right, I would settle down. But if not, then I'm happy living the single life. If you aren't sure, you can try your hand in the social dating scene, maybe you might have more luck, but I had to hit that wall and learn the hard way first before I woke up to Red Pill and MGTOW.

YMMV

ilikerelish · 2018-09-17T09:48:49+00:00

Young man, I am more than twice your age. I went the marriage route. I even entertained the idea of kids for a time (a happy family). I thought better of it, and chose not to. My wife would have been an awful mother, and I would have been a cold father. But that is beside the point. That life you pine for is from a long dead civilization. The truth is that life was never to be yours, I was a child when families were still like that.... The women you have to choose from have no moral character, compassion, or empathy. As bad of a mother as my own wife would be, women today aren't even capable of what she is. For argument's sake, lets say you find one who hasn't drank herself to the point of obesity on the "kool-aid" society is serving, and you have those kids. They aren't yours. They are the states. Try to give them corporal punishment as my father did me, they are taken away. Use harsh words at them as my father did me, taken away. Meanwhile, they are requires to go to school. A better name for it would be feminizing, an social indoctrination center. Your kids will be exposed to 63 genders, snowflakes, social theory that makes them ashamed to be boys, or trains them to be strong independent thots, and more. By the time they reach 18, they won't even remotely resemble the kids you were trying to produce. As I said, that life was never yours. It is your Camelot, a beautiful idea, that cannot be attained.

As to friends and free thinkers, they are few, and you are a social creature, try finding some who will tolerate your positions and enjoy their company casually. They don't have to be off the plantation to be fun, just be wary that they will turn on you in a heartbeat, or try to recruit you to the plantation.

I suppose I am lucky, in that I have never needed anyone in my life for any reason. Depression for lack of contact is a foreign idea to me. In your case, I think a little perspective is all you need. Once you realize that you are chasing a shadow, you give up, and find something attainable to go after. Once you realize that all friends ( save for a very slim few) are "single serving" friends, you treat them accordingly.

There is nothing to be depressed about in going MGTOW. The augmented reality is still there, you just see it for what it is, and are not bound to waste your life serving it if you choose not to. To grasp the freedom you want, you have to let go of the illusions you have clung to since childhood. Find your happiness in serving yourself and your own ends.

mtamez1221 · 2018-09-17T08:01:47+00:00

I’m 21 and I’m in a rough spot too. It’s information overload for me. I’m dealing with stuff on my own and this piled on top is almost overkill but in time as I mature I hope to get through it.

What hurts the most is that I’ll never have the chance of holding up my baby daughter on the bed as I give her back and forth kisses with my wife laying next to me.

Our reproductive instincts are amazing but at the same time a curse considering all the dangers not just in this society, but living life in general, in the wild. So many variables that can end terribly. I don’t know your mindset but as my depression kicked in so has my existential nihilism. Somewhat of a coping mechanism I guess to make sense of all this crazy.

eduardkoopman · 2018-09-17T07:34:59+00:00

Yep, me also.
Then quickly I figured out, that it was a lack of purpose that made me down/depressed. Now in actually there is little/no purpose, but to be able to "fool" yourself that your life has some purpose helped me to not get depressed.

Naturally, without think. People most often derive pupose from making children and raising children. They don't even have to think about it. But as a man that doesn't want children (and relationship); I knew I had to make a concious decision of life purposes. And be flexibel about it, and know that I can always change purpose.

In the last 3 years I made up these purposes:

- Helping 2 Bhuddist monks set up a new temple.

- Becoming a volunteer at a charity organization, by becoming the treasurer.

- Helping my brother a bit in raising his child.

- Saving up for retirement, so to have the option to hopefully retire early (or at least have the option to do so).

These things gave me some sense of purpose. I had to go out and look for them, they didn't come automatically but they somehiw appealed a bit to me. It gave a feeling of mattering a bit (tosome or a certain community). Hence, so a reason to get up, and make a small difference.

The above things may seem like, I am doing to for someone else. But I know, I am doing these things for myself. To protect myself from feelings of depression, existential crisis, haveing no purpose, etc.. Hence when doing that volunteer/charity work, I don't care about recieving compliments or appriciation. And if i don't like that thing/purpose anymore; I can easily decide to stop and pick something else. (which people that chose children as their purpose can't easily do)

jrpark05 · 2018-09-17T07:17:18+00:00

[deleted]

Sfrider · 2018-09-17T08:11:14+00:00

i think it‘s important to set yourself boundaries. don‘t fall from depression into nihilism. i have one brother who is also completely mgtow, sees the world as red pilled as me.. but compared to me he lacks motivation because he doesn’t define goals for himself, has no moral and therefore lives from one pleasure to the next. and what‘s the result? he is lazy, fat, can‘t take responsibility, a materialist, lives with 32 still with parents and has no motivation at all to change that situation. that lifestyle is just ugly to watch as an outsider

it‘s also hard for me but i realise if i want to be the best version of myself in my career and in sport i barely have time for a gf. and if i think about those horror storys of cheating, adultery i‘m very happy i don‘t have to worry about that shit. I keep myself motivated with quotes of philosophers, music or my personal ideal of who i want to be and remember all those men who got fucked over while playing a fair game and be thankful that this will not happen to me. after taking the redpill i had also problems getting out of bed everyday. now i start every single day with a cold shower after waking up. this helps tremendously

I reward myself with quality purchases from time to time which i could not afford if i didn‘t live mgtow, also i look forward to get a dog puppy when the time is right

I do not know where this mgtow lifestyle will lead us in the long run but i can promise you you are not fighting this alone. I‘m trying my best to be a good mgtow example

urban_hermit91 · 2018-09-17T12:54:38+00:00

Thinking ape has a good video about this. If I recall it's called 'the red pill malaise'

Tookthemethpill · 2018-09-17T15:15:52+00:00

I know where you are coming from and am going through that too. I don't want to work hard because most of my money will be taken by taxes and given to leeches anyway, plus I won't have a wife and kids so just above minimum wage with some overtime or 40-50k salary will let me live like a prince as long as I invest well and purchase high quality goods which last a long time, thus reducing spending in the long term.

I do feel like the fire burning inside me is mostly gone, I used to have a lot of passion but not anymore. Not sure if that is due to MGTOW or some other life circumstance like past history of depression (even before I found mgtow).

I've started to live a life of hedonism because I do feel being in this existence is a curse. I suggest finding some hobbies. Mine are investing/gambling, high end personal electric vehicles like electric skateboards/bicycles/etc, and taking care of my dog. Those keep me going in this empty life of pain.

000-7-17-12-1-14-26 · 2018-09-17T07:43:33+00:00

When you die do you want to be remembered? For decades or even centuries.

mcduncie · 2018-09-17T08:36:52+00:00

You've gotten past the bargaining phase of grief. You're now in the acceptance stage.

It's hard knowing that the Western legal, and political system is 100% against you. Will consistently think up ways to reach into your pocket to extract resources you've earned.

That truth is ultimately making you free though. Your energy is now more productive. Because you're no longer tethered to the illusion. That the elites have done so much to craft.

WhistlingAlong · 2018-09-17T11:32:23+00:00

It's simple. You're a leader personality. Its just your beliefs, likes and wants do not fit in their current culture or society. You're also very young and still have plenty of time ahead. I felt like you also when I was your age. I thought it was a superiority complex and maybe to some extent it is on a tiny spectrum but no. It's full of superiority against inferior people aka sheep.

What helps? Time and hobbies. Especially time. You are not at an age where you will have a good time or positive weekends. You're generation is fucked and unfixable but your see thing and understand things better than your peers which puts you at an advantage. You're just a future thinker as opposed to your peers who just live in the moment. Both have their advantages. Yours will pay off later. I promise.

Rayzond · 2018-09-17T10:33:55+00:00

I'm sorry man, I don't have any help to really give, I'm struggling with these similar thoughts and ideas on a daily basis, this is partially why I still come here.

I guess that we never really had a purpose, and deeply understanding that is a very freeing insight.

Loban8990 · 2018-09-17T11:47:54+00:00

Indeed. Back when I first found out a bout Mgtow. It took a few weeks to sink in and when it finally did I will admit I was down for a bit. Then I got angry. Not at woman or society but at myself when I realized all the times I let them take advantage at me and use me. Angry at the fact that I believed the lies, and when I read about backlighting and what it was, Ooh boy that pissed me off more. Especially when I think back to alot of the fights my mother and I got into.

I wasn't the perfect kid, but there were somethings I didn't deserve. It's been four years since I took my first red pill. Four years, and even after all that time I think I'm just now starting to exit the rage phase. The fires riding down a little as everyday more and more I except that it was all bullshit, and that I need to focus on myself and find my own happiness cause having kids and being in a relationship isn't going to do that.

I need to find a purpose and living my life on my own terms is a great way to start. The depression will pass dude. Your blue pill conditioning will break. Just come here everyday and read the stories the guys here share. You'll be alright.

urban_hermit91 · 2018-09-17T12:55:59+00:00

Life is obsurd. Nothing means anything and well all be a pile of worms in the end. Just do random stuff you enjoy... life doesn't have any grand meaning so just enjoy the ride.

jrpark05 · 2018-09-17T13:43:48+00:00

I tell you what I did: I learned a language (Mandarin), did as much varied coursework as I could, went to law school, and then moved to China to be a teaching assistant. I wanted to get out of the US BAD and live in another country, experience something else.

It was the BEST decision I ever made. I make good money, have a great apartment, went out with friends tonight for Chinese-style BBQ, and most important have a job that I LOVE: I am a college professor whose taught law (my specialty), management, strategy, organizational behavior, ethics, math, economics, literature and political science courses.

I've dated, but haven't found anyone interesting, and have accepted that this will probably NOT happen. Think of leaving the country.

Atton_Risk · 2018-09-17T13:56:57+00:00

The realization that I won't be having a family, something that I used to regard as my end goal to be happy, has put some holes in my morale and drive.

The thing you would sacrifice your freedom for is that which would enslave you.

EHXKOR · 2018-09-17T15:04:54+00:00

I’m at a constant low over here too, but more so about all the big-picture stuff. All in all this world is just shitty for all of us. But you deserve more, man. I’m sure you have a lot of goals in mind. Live for those goals. Strive to achieve those goals and don’t let anyone get in your damn way. Don’t be like me.

Pertinaxed · 2018-09-17T17:13:49+00:00

You’re a man, so you still have two or three decades to have kids if you want. My boss is 51 and has a beautiful, vibrant, and healthy two-year-old daughter with his wife, who’s 25 years younger. And he was a huge party/rave guy in the 80s and 90s, so it’s not like he even took good care of himself. Invest in some basic self-care and you could surely have kids at his age.

Think about it: do you think society can go on like this, with men checking out en masse and the economy faltering because of discrimination against the competent, go on like this for another twenty or thirty years? I sure as hell don’t. Something’s gotta give, and that change could easily mean you’ll get the family you’ve always wanted - on YOUR terms (for one thing, I think we will see the resurgence of dowries in the West during our lifetime).

Yes, women today are corrupt. But think of it this way: if you were to do what my boss has done, then you would marry a woman who hasn’t even been born yet. Who knows what she’ll be taught, or learn or observe from the current dysfunctional relations between men and women. Who knows what new laws and mores will constrain her behavior.

So, stop worrying about the future. Live in the present and go your own way. Deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.

TheOnlyThing-Sufjan · 2018-09-17T14:37:42+00:00

Its quite normal to be deillusioned by the world, and this lead to a depressive state at first. In my experience this state sometimes comes back and then drifts off again, but the longer you focus on MGTOW the shorter those periods untill its just a sad thought that appears in your mind and then you move on. For example, not having a family/childeren ect, that idea sucks and when going really MGTOW at first you will be knocked down by it, especially if it was one of your lifes drivers (it was mine aswell). But after awhile you realize that this goal might be something you thought you ought to do, however might not be something you really want to do. And then starts an intressting journey to find out wether the drive and goals you have are really goals deriven from your self, or pushed there by the social oughtness of those ideas. Basically this leads you to a state of stagnation, depression, existenstial crisis, and not motivated to do something and also not knowing where to go and how to fix it.

But here is the kicker, just hang in there! Dont go crawling back to those safe ideas, dont be discouraged simply because you have no clue what to do and how to do it. Just take day by day, what helped me was running, it pushed me to simply do something I got better in everyday, but you can find you own thing. And mabye after a time of healing/reflection you will notice certain passions comming up. These might be the same that you always had, so those passions you followed were already your passions aswell. But mabye they are totally different from what you thought. Follow those passions and sees where it brings you. One of the beautifull things of MGTOW (which is my opinion is not talked about enough) is the total freedom to try and fail, to take risks, simply because if you fall you only have to pick yourself back up, no family or wife/gf who will nag you and push you down further. So follow it and just experience what happens, this in turn will leads you to more self knowledge and more understanding how to interact with the world you want to life in. Dont get frustrated and give up, get frustrated if you fail and pick yourself back up.

My MGTOW journey started 2 a 3 years ago, and I'm still looking and trying. Still fixing some stuff in myself and trying to become a better person, but also accepting that you dont need to be something for someone else. Basically self love becomes a very key aspect of a MGTOW life in my opinion, and that is really hard. And yes sometimes I get sad (those episodes dont take long though), and sometimes I get mad at the current state of afairs, but then I just go for a run, lift some weights, try out a new recipe, read some books, and try to get back on my path.

Hope this helps, it all sounds kind of vague, but its quite a subjective path you must follow, just dont lose hope (or atleast not for a very long time) and keep on trying/going.

Best of luck.

Baldrbaldr · 2018-09-17T14:57:48+00:00

After WWI most young women in Europe couldn't have families because their men were dead. In modern times womanhood is dead. Our women have been transformed into ham beasts and land whales. This is the Twilight Zone.

mgtowmale · 2018-09-17T20:28:25+00:00

We get to make our own stories. The most important thing I did when I was feeling lost, was read old memoirs from fascinating men throughout history. For 2 years, memoirs (and with some rare exceptions biographies) were the only books I read - the stories showed me different ways I can live my life, they opened my eyes to choices I never knew I had, and laid out blueprints of how to live an interesting, courageous life. Once I'd internalised it all, my life became a grand adventure.

Life the greatest sandbox video game ever.

Turnheartsoffathers · 2018-09-17T22:16:48+00:00

To take a quote from the Matrix: "This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes... Remember... all I'm offering is the truth. Nothing more." Reality isn't something you can take 1 redpill and understand it all. Each day you get the choice: uncomfortable truths or dreams that put you to sleep. I choose to keep waking up to the uncomfortable reality because I know where I belong. I was born into a family, fractured as it was while I was yet a child, and had some life-changing events occur. Thankfully I went to be raised by my father after my mother was taken from us. He didn't give me much more than a foundation, but from that foundation I discovered my heritage. Families weren't meant to be nuclear and isolated from the generations. I spend face to face time with grandparents still living on a bi-monthly basis. I see the family history of my ancestors, what they struggled for to give a better life for their children's children.

The world is going to Hell in a handbasket, lunacy is rampant with fools everywhere, (((media))) promotes these anti-family values to exploit people and divest them of everything important. To me MGTOW is a form of blue-pill itself in that it ignores the work of 1000s of ancestors working toward a better future. I was born as the next generation to improve the world for my eventual children; I have accepted that as one of my life's purposes. To that end I ignore the things I have no control over and turn inwards. Improving myself financially, physically, spiritually, mentally, etc. for the day at which I become part of the vanguard of humanity.

2018-09-18T00:13:42+00:00

Reduce the amount of watching MGTOW videos. Take some time to exercise and take a cold shower. Cold showers are now to reduce depression.

Title	Depression after going MGTOW?
Author	KushKenobi
Upvotes	52
Comments	43
Date	September 17, 2018 6:30 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/9ghyj7/depression_after_going_mgtow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/depression-after-going-mgtow.490896 https://theredarchive.com/post/490896

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