I was with someone for 4 and a half years. She did most of the things that I see repeated on this sub. I kept myself in shape, worked roughly 90 hours a week, supported her, paid for classes she'd quit halfway through, let her stay home so she could focus on school. She wouldn't cook/clean as she "wasn't a glorified maid."

She blew up to 220 pounds and the moment I mentioned losing sexual attraction it was like I dropped an atom bomb. Of course she didn't change anything. We stayed together 3 years after that.

She would create false narratives and tell her family twisted stories of how I was so bad and while I had an uneasy feeling that something like that was happening, I only got confirmation at the end of our relationship. She lied and stole money from me over the years. Even when she had a job, I only asked her to pay utilities. Somehow she was always broke and my dumbass actually gave her my credit card to use for emergencies/food and gas. One month she went way over the budget-around $400 on my card. I asked to see her bank statements which she agreed to. Imagine my surprise when there was a $250 Kim kardashian app purchase and hundreds in iTunes purchases.

I took us from being homeless to living in a good area. She knew my anxieties about money and how I never wanted to be homeless again. She saw my effort through working all of those hours. She didn't care. She had no interest in being a team working together for a common goal. She just wanted to sit around, get fat, be supported and be respected for it.

And still, we got engaged. What the fuck was I thinking? Eventually, the constant serving and getting lied to and dealing with laziness had me feeling like less of a person. I stopped taking care of myself, I looked homeless again. My best wasn't good enough for an ounce of effort from her.

It all came to a head when I asked myself why I'm allowing my life to be this way and I kid you not, my answer was "at least she takes care of my dog while I'm away working for 14 hours a day." Guess what? She lied about giving him his medicine for 5 months. It was one pill a month, I'd ask if she gave it to him, she'd say yes and that would be it. When I found the pack and the pills, I told her we were done.

She leaves and I find out that the job I had been trying to get for her finally called her and offered a position. I try to work things out like the bitch I was and she comes back. Goes through the interview process, gets the job and the day before she starts, she leaves again for good.

Now after serving this person for 4 and a half years and promising my life to them, I was confused as to why it was okay for me to give up my life for a better future for us but she could leave it so easy. When I tried to get answers, my ex fiance tells me she's having fun with other guys who drive BMW's and have motorcycles. Well of course they do, they weren't supporting a fucking hippo for the last 4 years.

I took the break up hard. Of course I did. I loved this person. After all, she stayed with me when I had nothing and I had worked with the intention of us having everything together. I stayed home, went to the gym and signed up for counseling. I worked. I suffered.

Everyday was a mixture of panic and grief. I cried. I lost weight. I wanted to die. I wanted her. Within two weeks of the breakup I met a cute Asian girl off tinder and we fucked but I still felt horrible. As soon as she left my house I was breaking down because I still missed my hippo. I had sex with another girl and we became friends with benefits but I still associated sex with intimacy so I stopped that as well.

Then one day I said fuck it and I called my hippo. I asked if she still felt like we had unfinished business. She did and we met up. I had spent all summer in the gym, had a nice tan, lots of money from the OT and not having to support her, I was in a good place. She had gained even more weight. Even her dog had gotten obese. She didn't have $500 to put down for an apartment so she had to call her dad and ask for it.

But still, I knew where this was going. I got a hotel and we went out on the town and then I fucked her. The next morning she's telling me how she's missed me and loves me and we are soulmates. It was that quick, like a snap and she was saying all the things I needed her to say months ago. And finally I said what I needed to say the whole time. I said "no."

She left a guy that would have given her the world, got passed around from some guys that see her for what she is and then when she realized she couldn't do better, she wanted to come home. Fuck that and fuck you. Call it revenge or whatever you want, but she wouldn't give me closure so I made it for myself. Even now, she'll send a text every once in a while and I shut it down. Never again.

I recently read the manipulated male. Hell, at least those women cooked and cleaned. I'm done with this, I'll never devote my life to someone other than myself. I am happier alone than being miserable with someone. I'll do what I want, live a peaceful life and I don't care what everyone else does.

AWALT.