New here, first post. So what do you do when you like the relationship you're in but don't want to get married/move in, but the pressure is there?

TVTestPattern · 2016-08-03T18:33:33+00:00

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. - Mark Twain

Hiromant · 2016-08-03T19:18:15+00:00

Do not get married. Do not get her pregnant. Your previous life, interests and hobbies will be gone forever.

I also grew up with a group of gamers and we still organize LAN parties. We made an online table to see when everyone was free so we could meet up. Age range late twenties, early thirties.

Single guys, pretty much free and happy to join whenever.

Guys in LTRs, a day every other weekend or so if cupcake approves. Need to ask permission every time. Hour-long agitated phonecalls throughout the LAN because cupcake isn't happy about being ignored for a day.

Married guy with two kids, a single Thursday night in a month. Just imagine that, having a single workday evening for yourself in four weeks. We entertained him and wanted to organize one on that Thursday but it failed. He was pissed because he wasted the four hours of free time he had that month. We no longer invite him.

And this is the best case scenario, these guys have fairly decent women who were caring and nice for a long time, years. But slowly over time they will gain control and take over your life. Seeing how strong, free, happy men become broke, stressed, overworked simps in five years drives the MGTOW point home better than any reddit comment, but here it is.

User-31f64a4e · 2016-08-03T18:36:46+00:00

You are asking a bunch of men who gave up on relationships, to give you relationship advice. All I can say is, we all went through a honeymoon phase where everything felt right at the beginning, and then her true nature came out.

fuckhillaryinthebutt · 2016-08-03T20:03:42+00:00

Tell her straight up how you feel. "If your goal is to get married, you're gonna have to find someone else willing to do that. I like hanging out and spending time, but I'll never get married, for various reasons. I dont want to hold you back if that's your goal. I'll miss hanging out with you but it looks like we have two different goals in life that don't compliment each other."

My-Name-Is-No-One · 2016-08-03T20:21:54+00:00

That pressure will always be there. It's women trying to assert their will over you, and turn you into their servant, until she replace your chump ass with a new one. Worse, i wouldnt doubt if shes already in the habit of treating tou like a door mat, walking all over you and your boundaries, and expectig you to pretty much always cater to her and what she wanta and chooses. Point is - Ditch the bitch already, and don't make the same mistake that you and most men make time and time again of just getting a new one. They're all the same, as yes, all women are like that. As for the rest of what you posted, a wise man once said "the only difference between a rut and the grave is the depth," and in this regard, I has no doubt that you would benefit immensely from some personal projects, goals, and hobbies that don't involve screens. As to what those are, I have no idea what that might be, but it's for you to decide anyway.

eyebrowcombover · 2016-08-03T19:33:00+00:00

You aren't exactly in a place that is going to give pro-relationship advice, that being send end it with her immediately. You are risking an "oops" baby every time you engage in self described meaningless sex. With everything you wrote in your post, the last thing you need is marriage/children. End the relationship, graduate and get a job, move out of your parent's house, and go figure yourself out. Find what makes you happy beyond video games and trying to relive your childhood. Normally I'd say video games are a great hobby, but for you it sounds like an unhealthy addiction that ties into and feeds your depression.

User-31f64a4e · 2016-08-03T19:50:59+00:00

You are getting "butted."
As in, "I like you, but ..."
I like/love you, [ but we need to move into a place | but we need to have a kid | but I need my space | but you're just not ambitious | but I am not in love | but give me half your shit, I'm out of here ]. That last one is very common in any male-female relationships where she doesn't love you unconditionally. Hint: Your mother is the only one who might love you unconditionally. Might.

Another way to put this ... your relationship is conditional. It is conditioned on your support, your income, your status, how much you give to her. The relationship comes with strings. It is actually all about her, or mostly about her, and if you don't comply she's out.
When this happens (divorce rape, or just leaving), it should be obvious that her preferred/planned/imagined lifestyle is important to her, more important than you are, and that you are simply playing a role. Some other dude could get the part, no problem. It's not about you.

This may be hard to believe, but women don't love men the way men love women.

Cedar70 · 2016-08-03T20:12:27+00:00

Adulting with that bitch will destroy your soul .. any woman for that matter. Ghost her and play video games ..

assumenothing8787 · 2016-08-03T19:57:29+00:00

Simple: You don't get married/move in. Next.

AdolfSchmitler · 2016-08-03T22:47:27+00:00

Honestly, if you have to ask, you probably already know the answer.. Try to imagine living with her every. single. day. "Awful with money " alone should be a big enough red flag... Her debts become your debts. You divorce now you owe her a fat alimony check each month. Good luck.

cynicalsimon · 2016-08-03T20:48:35+00:00

If its an ultimatum, that shows how much she cares about you;she doesn't.

exit-stage-right2 · 2016-08-03T21:24:42+00:00

Date her is the furthest extent I would go bro. No move in together, no marriage and that's it. Other people trying to pressure you can fuck off. And always wrap it up for sex and never rely on her so called birth control methods

horsemeat89 · 2016-08-04T00:10:07+00:00

OP, there are women out there who will be cool with you playing video games all day. Not kidding. They are rare, but you can find them. I dated a girl who was HOT and she didn't give a shit about me playing video games/hanging out with friends/spending my money on dorky shit. She had Crohn's and I think it affected her self-esteem some and she was just happy to have someone. But she was an awesome girlfriend.

oldredder · 2016-08-04T05:42:23+00:00

[deleted]

MrPC81 · 2016-08-03T21:11:18+00:00

Freeze some sperm then get a vasectomy. Do not get her or any other woman knocked up. It'll ruin you forever. Be in control of your own life.

JStheHammer · 2016-08-03T20:04:23+00:00

Say NO

Zombocom1911 · 2016-08-03T20:32:05+00:00

There are only two choices, lie to her, keep stringing her along and using her, or be upfront and honest with her, and accept whatever she decides. But know yourself and be truthful to yourself first and foremost, and if she doesn't accept what you want, then so be it.

TheUniverseis2D · 2016-08-03T21:08:43+00:00

Don't talk about marriage with her. If you flat out say you never wanna get married then she might flip out on you and burn the whole relationship--or she might flip out and then proceed to work extra hard to make you happy so you fall in 'love' with her and change your mind about marriage. Either way she wins.

Avoid the topic. Change the topic. Everytime. All the time. If she asks say you're just taking things one step at a time, or that you don't want to rush things, or just a simple "Maybe, I'm not sure" and leave it at that. In the end, if you enjoy your happiness, if you like doing what you want, if you like spending your money on the things you like, and if you want to continue to play video games in the future and follow the gaming industry as it evolves and the technology gets even better DON'T EVER GET MARRIED.

Waingr0 · 2016-08-03T22:04:32+00:00

If you don't want to get married/move in, you need to prepare yourself for the prospect of the relationship not working out. Women are indoctrinated with the idea of marriage and living together, so not doing these things isn't even an option for them.

However if she truly cares for you, she will get over it. And to help her with this, explain to her that marriage/moving in will only make the relationship complicated and boring. Also work on convincing her that marriage just isn't necessary. There isn't really a valid reason to get married, considering marriage doesn't keep two people from falling out of love or from being unfaithful to each other. True commitment comes from within, not from a damn ring. Marriage in itself is not a sign of commitment, considering you can get divorced just as easily.

Knxguymgy · 2016-08-04T00:52:54+00:00

Fuck the pressure.

Teflon0819 · 2016-08-04T01:18:49+00:00

My advice would be to never become so emotionally dependent on a relationship with a woman that the prospect of losing her would pressure you into conceding any of your personal freedoms to her.

realpra · 2016-08-04T02:30:38+00:00

She lives with her roomates and she's awful with money but she only works partime, but she's moving back in with her folks in about 2 months. She's 23 BTW.

Now in hypothetical land there might be NAWALTs, unicorns and actual wife material - this is not it.

If you get married to this woman you will be forced to work harder than you want to and she will use you and waste all your money.

NefariousRaccoon · 2016-08-04T02:54:33+00:00

You should go here(/r/TheRedPill) for stuff like this.

Vipereye · 2016-08-04T03:51:29+00:00

"Her BFF is getting married and now it's sorta like "our turn" but it's not anything I'm even remotely interested in"

It's funny my ex used to pull thing's on me like that. Look at everyone's wedding photo's and baby showers and basically feel like a sack of shit for not having kids or getting married. They feel pressured to do these things. Don't let her pressure you into things "she thinks she needs to do" Because 100% it will fuck both of your lives up.

There is no point getting married these days, not when you can get divorced and screwed in court nearly instantly and especially when you have kids. You're parents grew up in a different Era, things were a bit different back then. God bless them they are a dying breed these days.

You do you dude, if you don't want to do it....then don't. Think about it this way, are you pressuring her to do things she does not want to do? Probably not right? Then you do what makes you happy and if that's not good enough for her....then maybe you will be dodging a bullet moving on.

d4ng3rz0n3 · 2016-08-04T04:18:34+00:00

Life is the best game ever:

http://oliveremberton.com/2014/life-is-a-game-this-is-your-strategy-guide/

Learn new skills, make more money, win at life. Move out of your parents house and face reality. It's the best game ever.

Edit: Also, definitely don't get married. Especially with the thoughts you have written here, I guarantee 100% you will regret it.

You really need to work on yourself, figure out who you are and what you want out of life before you commit to ANYTHING.

cfuse · 2016-08-04T06:06:47+00:00

You either do what you want, or you do what someone else wants. The only deciding factor is how much you're willing to cede your wants to others (for whatever reason).

logophiliac · 2016-08-04T06:34:36+00:00

See /r/relationships, if you dare. This is /r/MGTOW.

oldredder · 2016-08-04T08:18:13+00:00

Ignore the pressure and if she gets annoying about it, break up.

canisdirusarctos · 2016-08-04T11:12:25+00:00

The money issue is a huge red flag that this relationship will never go anywhere good for you. Having been in the situation before, I would never move in with her. I know the pressure is on due to the marriage of people in her circles, but this period only runs to about 26, then marriages are super rare and they stop feeling like they need to keep up with their peers.

In your situation, I'd dodge the subject when it comes up. You also need to be vigilant to ensure she doesn't guilt you into letting her move in. This structure worked for me for a while and isn't bad, as long as you can get her to give up on starry-eyed dreams of marriage.

On your front, stick with your plan and focus on your work.

trmpah · 2016-08-03T20:54:45+00:00

Save some sperm in a sperm deposit. Get snipped. Don't marry.

ryeshoes · 2016-08-04T01:47:29+00:00

Don't get married. Eventually she will break up with you or stay in the relationship out of convenience.

Also don't get her pregnant or buy property together. Hell don't even live together. If you get her pregnant, that's child support you need to pay. If you live together it makes it difficult to argue you aren't the de facto father. If you get married you have to pay child support regardless of paternity

Get a vasectomy. It makes life easier.

What the fuck kind of advice did you expect from us? Go to r/relationships if you want hand holding and ego stroking

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