/pol/ humor

Praline1322 · 2019-04-20T22:09:43+00:00

Dear John-you are bring used as an emotional tampon. We all know you want to fuck that woman, and since you know she never will, that being "her bestest friend" is better than nothing. For some reason you hold on to that glimmer of hope that she will change her mind and all your dreams will come true. You buy her and her kids stuff, and maybe just one more thing, another few hundred dollars or spending more time with her! And she'll finally see that she's In love with YOU! Right?

HEY BUDDY!! WAKE THE FUCK UP HOLY SHIT YOU FUCKING MORON SIMP! JESUS CHRIST WHERE IS YOUR SELF RESPECT. you're a decent looking guy, go find some 20 year old slut and fuck her brains out lol Holy fuck

escalover · 2019-04-20T22:07:31+00:00

And this is why I do t keep female friends. She literally brought nothing to the table.

FirmFirefighter · 2019-04-20T22:22:44+00:00

Next week - here is Frank my best friend - he helped me out when I wanted someone to listen to how Jonathon was such a loser. I have learned to cut negative people out of my life and this is a new me. I am so glad I was theoretically able to pay back Frank the 800 dollars he lent me. I won't mention all the free gasoline I sponged off Frank with him driving me about everywhere as he is a super simp.

801735 · 2019-04-20T21:49:28+00:00

LOL ]=)

Nevertheless, a good guy to have in the friendzone, to soak in all the p0rn stories I cry to him about.

Goshtow · 2019-04-21T01:02:06+00:00

Jesus this could've been me if I hadn't found you guys.

Sucks to think just how willingly indentured you once were in absolute ignorant oblivion.

Im_Talking · 2019-04-20T22:34:17+00:00

Can't wait to hear the reciprocal story of the great things that she will do for him to pay him back now that she's back on her feet.

DangZagnut · 2019-04-20T22:56:48+00:00

The part in parentheses is an obvious lie to not look like what she is.

TheDevilsAdvokaat · 2019-04-21T02:35:12+00:00

When I was younger I experimented with having a couple of female "friends"

Without exception they use you - ask you to help them move, ask you to fix something, ask to borrow money, complain about some guy who they want you to harrasss...

And yet, not one of them ever did anything for me. Not one of them ever cooked me anything, or brought me anything, or even seemed to know i was alive unless they had a problem or a need...

If you're a guy, being a "friend" to a female is the stupidest decision you can ever make. You're only "friends" so she will never fuck you. But at the same time, because you are a guy, she will unconsciously expect you to fulfill many needs that actual boyfriends do - all without the rewards said boyfriends get. And in addition, the actual things she does with women friends, she won't do with you - again, because you're a guy. So you don't get the benefits of being a boyfriend, but in addition you don't get the benefits of being a friend. Congratulations; you are now in the twilight zone.

Do not EVER be a woman's "friend". Because you aren't anyway. All you are is a a male orbiter.

53withtrollhair · 2019-04-20T22:55:08+00:00

For all those simps out there-- fvckin quit this shit already. Fvck!

void_magic · 2019-04-21T01:22:21+00:00

Imagine how big a cuck her husband is.

TeamTeddy0 · 2019-04-20T22:52:58+00:00

He could have used his time to improve himself but he chose to waste his time ang gain nothing.

Happybobertnvagene · 2019-04-20T21:54:42+00:00

This is Cuckathon!

TheDevilsAdvokaat · 2019-04-21T02:27:11+00:00

Sadly, Johnathan is a great guy, but not great looking. So she used him.

"Thanks John! Looking forward to using you again when I get divorced! Please keep your life on hold till then and be ready! Luv you! (But not really tee hee eewww ur like a brother to me... :-) "

fredanderssen · 2019-04-21T06:47:58+00:00

“When I started to host my Wednesday night dinners, cooking for strangers....”

Is this a euphemism for prostitution? I don’t get it.

DevilWDevil · 2019-04-20T23:27:43+00:00

I knew it was comming, but that last part always gets me. Alfa fucks, beta bucks, through and through, you'll always be just an orbiting simp to her

FirmFirefighter · 2019-04-20T22:18:22+00:00

freaky self publicist , urgh

ArizonaTucker · 2019-04-21T02:31:26+00:00

Smh...who raised these men? No family, friend, or anyone stepped in to ask him why he was doing this? I don't respect him...and definitely not her.

SingleManDR · 2019-04-21T04:46:16+00:00

She literally rubbed his friendzoned face in her new marriage. This is actually kinda sociopathic.

Dinomiteblast · 2019-04-21T06:46:42+00:00

I hope this is a story that goes like this: she leaves husband for cliché reasons something CC and he keeps “simping” all through it. When the wall hits she realises our dear man John is the perfect man for her and she asks him out never to get him to commit or even have sex.

After a while she flat out asks him why he doesnt want to commit or is intrested in sex.

He says: “because i know you”

NoCharism · 2019-04-21T08:56:02+00:00

"dude of honor" hahahahaha

That surely was worth all the trouble

DrFeelFantastic · 2019-04-20T22:05:43+00:00

Fairly sure he's gay, man

lebrian · 2019-04-20T23:15:32+00:00

slow-claps *

VVXMR · 2019-04-21T00:55:03+00:00

I feel pain for this man. He has to run

rongy_dringus · 2019-04-21T00:25:46+00:00

Cringe

cbr900rr1996 · 2019-04-21T00:31:34+00:00

tee hee

TheDumbassGenius · 2019-04-21T00:44:15+00:00

Not gonna lie, they had us in the first half.

Vishapstein · 2019-04-21T00:54:40+00:00

I hope he sends her an invoice for $100 an hour for all the shit he had to listen while she cried about Chad dumping her .

jacketguy · 2019-04-21T01:41:01+00:00

“good guy” aka servant

HereWeGoAgainTJ · 2019-04-21T06:29:16+00:00

Nothing but pain in those eyes... haunting.

A_Stylish_Man · 2019-04-20T23:59:27+00:00

Damn I would laugh but I don’t think I can. Well the one positive would be that she paid him back but she’s probably lying about that

the_green_grundle · 2019-04-21T02:33:07+00:00

There’s probably a greentext on r9k from his perspective

cyndonn66 · 2019-04-21T03:21:00+00:00

Stupid + Wimp = Simp.

defiance211 · 2019-04-21T03:33:57+00:00

Ain’t gonna lie, you had me til the end

RegiusGeralt · 2019-04-21T03:42:54+00:00

The Tampon.

LilLoserFreny · 2019-04-21T05:20:48+00:00

Look into his eyes, they explain all.

ScottyHoliday · 2019-04-21T05:52:17+00:00

Jonathan. Dude.

MrMagtow · 2019-04-21T06:54:18+00:00

King orbiter!

harrison_wheels · 2019-04-21T07:10:18+00:00

The fabled giga simp.

khaoboy74 · 2019-04-21T07:57:58+00:00

astralduelist · 2019-04-21T08:34:00+00:00

I literally dont understand why be friends with such a girl.

Do these guys think they will be rewarded eventually? Jeez

ass-my-eat · 2019-04-21T08:41:00+00:00

Simpus Maximus!

NoCharism · 2019-04-21T08:57:45+00:00

I was just wondering wether there should be a movement called simp shaming.

Ill_Childhood · 2019-04-21T12:07:34+00:00

Im getting Last American Virgin vibes here.

AntiAbleism · 2019-04-21T13:52:05+00:00

He is lost.

escapetovictory · 2019-04-21T15:19:32+00:00

my 'current husband', already planning

sacandbaby · 2019-04-21T22:36:21+00:00

Wait, I missed the ending.

HeavyMeringue · 2019-04-21T22:47:57+00:00

At least he got some of his money back.That's nice for a change.

Hot5oup · 2019-04-21T01:24:39+00:00

Maybe is just really a good friend just saying, I guess there are man like that out there.

Plus he was smart and not marrying her hope the fella is happy somewhere xD

Title	/pol/ humor
Author	suliu
Upvotes	250
Comments	73
Date	April 20, 2019 9:46 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/bfhi3y/pol_humor/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/pol-humor.479278 https://theredarchive.com/post/479278

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