Guide a young man

Maximum_Afternoon · 2020-09-09T14:53:57+00:00

Those posts in which lovers make declarations of their undying love for each other leave me scarred.

Easy fix: for every post that you see of people talking about their love... go read one post from r/divorce or r/DeadBedrooms . Because that's where they end up. You're only seeing half of the story.

dareelmisterman · 2020-09-09T14:47:29+00:00

what personally helped me, was when i understood that majority of relationships are miserable. i'd go as far as to say even 90-95% and that theres alot of faking to make it look happy for the outsiders.

it's sad but today it often happens so much that ppl brag with their "status" on social media and that means more to them than the actual partner. then you have these stories how the guy was perfectly happy in the relationship and thought he had it all, just to find out that for months the woman had been sleeping with another guy every weekend. like one story was devasting for a man that he had literally just slept with "his" woman and went to the shower, afterwards only to find out that the woman was sending nudes to other dudes out there right after they had sex! eventho they were supposedly a couple and he was her bf, guy got treated like that. so it really makes you think if it's worth it.

me personally the female nature has kinda disgusted and i don't have pretty much any desire for a woman anymore. the majority aren't very pretty in their act. they basically just wanna use you and dump when done gaining assets. and i don't feel like shifting through bunch of trash to maybe find a unicorn out of all that.

Windsofchange92 · 2020-09-09T18:14:23+00:00

Focus on self-improvement. MGTOW is about going your own way. Contrary to MGTOW belief, If your way is towards female companionship then focus on ways to improve yourself.

You have a feeling of powerlessness and you desire companionship. How can you fix this? You already took the first step by asking people. The next step is to take action.
Meditation, self-worth techniques, being successful will all greatly enhance your confidence and self-image in your mind. Accepting what YOU want in life is going your own way.
You say you are unattractive. Focus on working out (will boost mood too), grooming yourself, dressing yourself in which you look good and feel good. Taking care of yourself is not only important for attracting people but gives you self worth and longevity in life.
Not a lot of chances? Focus on talking to every single person or woman you can with the intention of failing. You have to fail hundreds of times before you can learn to be a master. This will improve your social skills and it will be awkward to start but who cares. Your intention is to improve yourself and not actually make friends/get a date.
Don't be blinded by your first love. Many MGTOW get screwed because they are unable to see red flags or are unable to address them with their partner. Don't be blind and take your time. Men don't run on a ticking clock like women because we don't solely base ourselves on looks.
Don't use Social Media. Social Media is a cesspool of fake lives. I rarely touch my Instagram unless I want to post a picture myself or see business motivational pages. Facebook, I only use it for messenger and to check my groups for news. Twitter, I don't have one. In a month I use social media about 2 times unless you count messenger because I call some close friends.

I could give advice for hours and explanations but I don't want to write an essay. :D Good luck man.

ethan1988 · 2020-09-09T15:30:53+00:00

Get a pet?

Solo_and_Simple · 2020-09-09T18:59:31+00:00

I would say pay attention to 1) your feelings of "powerlessness" and "worthlessness" and 2) the incredible importance you place on being coupled or "loved" by a woman. There is a causal connection. #2 leads to #1.

The way out -- the way toward a sense of power and worth -- is to stop leaning so heavily on #2. I know that's easier said than done. But look, the way you've got things set up, you are trapping yourself.

All of your power is invested in something you cannot control. That is a recipe for powerlessness. It's like getting your sense of power from the weather or the stock market. Personal power comes from things you CAN control. It is sapped by things you cannot control. Focus on things you can control, and do your best to let go of things you cannot. This is a principle as old as the stoics, and it is very important.

The same goes for personal worth. Your personal worth does not depend on female validation. Anyone who gets his/her sense of self-worth from external validation -- that is only pseudo self-esteem, not the genuine article. Real self-worth comes from doing things that YOU approve of, behaving with integrity, awareness, and responsibility, and taking care of yourself. It does not come from female validation or approval. Female validation is a dopamine hit that operates more like an addiction; it wears off, then you want more.

It's better (much more effective) to put your efforts toward the internal things that can give you a sense of worth, like the ones mentioned above. That's where your leverage point is.

Grigonite · 2020-09-10T04:33:47+00:00

I too was in your situation 7 years ago, before I joined the service. I desperately desired, in reality it was the idea of, a committed relationship. To be happy married to a woman I loved. My parents are going on 33 years and still happily married, so why can’t it happen to me right?

However, the world tends to break the illusions of social media and childhood. I saw men’s lives and careers ravaged by false accusations, divorce courts, and cheating spouses. There’s were some co-workers that are still married but they’re a small minority.

Wanting a happy relationship is like wanting a car that never blows up or dies(like an old Honda). Sure it COULD happen, but you’d have better odds at winning the lottery. At the very least, don’t bank on finding a good spouse. The odds aren’t in your favor. But until you find the treasure, I would recommend focusing on your career and hobbies/fulfilling activities(not drinking like I did for 2 years). It’ll give you a purpose and satisfaction for the time being.

Please know that I’m very jaded. Aside from my parents and a few of their friends, 80%ish of the relationship I grew up around have failed. Sometimes it’s the guys fault, sometimes not, but the man suffers all the same. The girls I grew up with, road the rides as long as they could, with the hottest guys they could. Only wanting to settle down once they had kids. All the more reason for you to get a career and go see the world. It’s a process but you’ll eventually become content and accept the situation.

xdivinex22 · 2020-09-10T04:58:20+00:00

“Those posts in which movers make declarations of their undying love for each other”.

I can’t believe you’re 23 & haven’t seen by now that social media & relationships are an absolute illusion. I’ve seen people first hand that put on a total facade on social media trying to portray their relationship to be some perfect thing & they’re both incredibly happy, ect. ect. I’ve known plenty of couples like this. Behind the scenes they’re totally toxic, unhappy, and borderline abusive. Haven’t you seen how many of those people that post stuff like that end up breaking up? Must’ve not been all what they’ve been portraying on social media, huh? Trust me, I guess I was in one of those type of relationships because people were shocked when me & my ex broke up because it seemed like we were just so perfectly happy from what they saw on social media.

ghostpath · 2020-09-11T04:44:44+00:00

Study online resources and learn that most relationships lead to disappointment, resentment and bitterness. It might take a few years to get there but it's almost inevitable.

Others have already suggested some good subreddits for this. You could also subscribe to Better Bachelor on YouTube.

On the other hand if you want to bang some hot chicks, you should. You might feel you were missing out if you went through life without experiencing this. r/seduction would be a good place to start if you want to learn how to attract women. Just be aware of the risks and don't get attached.

Holler4Heller · 2020-09-14T21:21:35+00:00

Women don’t love men and a pretty hefty majority of those friends with “lovers” are in for a rude awakening in a year or so. Maybe less. I don’t like the idea of curbing envy by showing the grass on the other side for the fetid shit it is because it doesn’t fix the root problem that is you caring what other people have or think they have in the first place.

Title	Guide a young man
Author	ambro1000
Upvotes	1
Comments	9
Date	September 9, 2020 2:14 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/ipgnny/guide_a_young_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/guide-a-young-man.805598 https://theredarchive.com/post/805598

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