As I write this post, I can feel my heart beating against my chest, trying to unshackle itself. Striving to liberate itself from its subversion. I can feel it flailing. It's gasping for air and praying for support. I had started a business a while back. Raised money from friends and family. It began with a vision, an idea.

I imbued it with my lifeblood to bring it to life. Initially, it marched and strove valiantly. It made me good money. But then it hit saturation and to cut a long story short it started sputtering. Growth was elusive, profits were unattainable and all that was there was a lot of pain. Meanwhile, my peers went on to establish thriving companies. It hurts me when I see people treat me with utter contempt. Their condescension isn't hidden.

I see the chains of shame, discordant, and telling me how unskilled I am. I'm left with a huge loss, obligations to many and a failure that won't ever leave me. The taint of captaining a scuttled ship will insidiously clasp me. I'm overcome by panic and have a slight fever because of that.

It was an amount that would've allowed a comfortable life. But that seed of boldness drove me to insanity and actuated rash decision-making. The people I loved have left me. I'm held responsible for their agony, which I am. Their pain is on me and my heart is glum because of that.