Need real advice

VanDriver1 · 2019-06-07T21:10:09+00:00

I think your verbal and mental position might be, "I haven't found the right one yet." Take care of yourself and don't settle for less than you deserve. Don't ignore red flags. Nobody says that you can't have female friends and date. You are at a critical time to set yourself up for retirement. A seven to 10 year period of dating, marriage and divorce will really fuck that up. Women are takers and users and only want someone who will give to them. If you don't give, they will leave for someone who will. The odds are that you will remarry and the odds are overwhelmingly against that second marriage working. Friends only. No cohabitation and no marriage.

Wasabipeanuts · 2019-06-07T21:20:41+00:00

Once you are able to wrap your head around the idea that being single is OK, everything else becomes easier. Being single in and of itself is easy, coming to terms with the idea that there's nothing wrong with it, your preference towards being single or yourself can take a little bit longer.

Instead of 'choosing to stay single' because women, rework your mindset to 'enjoying being single' for yourself. For everything you currently miss about being in a relationship (practical and emotional) there is more be gained from being single.

Odds are than when you've transitioned away from the expectation that you should be in a relationship to one where your choices and preference are all that matter you'll never worry about women again.

TLDR; Monk mode should ideally be a gradual (inevitable) transition, not a reluctant or spiteful choice. You won't feel any better going about it that way.

I raised my daughter as a single parent as well. She was old enough to choose who she wanted to stay with and opted to stay with dad. She was a bit older than your girls and on a practical level a lot easier to manage.

Cooking, making repairs to the house, doing my taxes, applying to her first job, coaching her towards (and getting) a promotion, working on the car, etc. Teaching her how to make choices, not making them for her. Watching her contemplate before making decisions before deciding more deliberately than many adults I know. Watching her go from fun little sidekick to capable, independent and responsible young woman was a fun and rewarding.

Occasionally calling her in sick because it was a nice day to practice driving, go swimming or whatever other dumb shit we chose to do was fun as well.

Had I stayed married to her mom I doubt she would have been interested in any of it nor would she have acquired any of those skills before venturing out on her own. I'd have been at work, she'd be out with friends and her mom would have made hamburger helper for dinner on the run.

You have one hell of an opportunity here. Accept it, take advantage of it and enjoy it.

car23975 · 2019-06-08T06:20:06+00:00

The main reason you suffer is because this system is all about $. That is all that matters, chicks know this and use it to get what they want. Society smiles and sees them use us efficiently to buy and go into debt. Consumption is important. They sell you this idea of love only attainable with a woman. You have to do it or your life is worthless or unimportant. The system doesn't run on love. If you believe it does, you are in a major disadvantage and will suffer the consequences. Mgtow just saw the numbers. The costs vs benefits analysis just doesn't pan out and it is not worth it. At your age, I would not even look at women. Women over 30+ only care about $. At younger ages, they might love and if not at least she hasn't had 100 guys.

I haven't gone through what you have. I just saw where things were heading after a few relationships and I thought it was not worth it. People will bug you about it, but you are wiser as mgtow. Bps can't think past the plantation so you can lie to them and trick them easily.

There is a chance there are very few good girls to be with, but I think it will be incredibly hard to find because there is only a tiny number of them. Most women eat bps nonstop.

Frelsi_8899 · 2019-06-08T08:36:55+00:00

We're the same age. I would say don't throw in the towel. It's obviously useful to have knowledge of red flags and how to identify and avoid problematic women, time wasters and gold diggers.

On the other hand, if there's one thing about life it's that for every rule there's usually an exception.

And so it is with dating, imagine going on 20 dates with 20 women, and each one being a cunt. 20 dates is more than most men will go on in a life time, so imagine hitting this and finding cunts back to back. It's enough to turn off anyone right?

What I suggest is, don't formally date. Totally drop online dating it's a shit storm and does nothing for your ego, and the most you'll ever get from it are low quality shags.

Instead besides all the conventional wisdom about "not shitting on your doorstep" life has changed. A lot of people are in the same boat and since they spend a considerable amount of time at work without much social life, work is the new social life.

Don't let anyone tell you, you can't find a partner at work. Be smart about it though.

Even networking via work "friends" can help.

Or an introduction from the neighbour.

Basically you need to somehow get into some consistent social circle, and get known by people, this way you can get introduced to single women.

_Segmentation_Fault · 2019-06-09T04:42:07+00:00

There is nothing wrong with dating someone you think is less attractive than you if you get along well together and if they are an awesome person. Looks aren't everything. You also have your own flaws that a woman would need to deal with, whether you notice it or not.

If you feel like you want to be single, that's alright. If you want to be with someone, that's also fine. Sometimes luck creeps up on you and you get a gem. Sometimes you might not. You can do whatever you want to.

If you are certainly interested in finding someone, I think "settling" on dates is fine, because that can get you back in the groove and highlight what kinds of things you can be working on. If the dates go poorly, nobody cares, and if they go great then you have probably found a nice person.

Bri-70 · 2019-06-28T03:13:15+00:00

How long were you married? Makes a difference. At least you have the chance to raise your kids. It’s not all bad.

Title	Need real advice
Author	FuqEnA
Upvotes	3
Comments	10
Date	June 7, 2019 8:22 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/bxzcvy/need_real_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/need-real-advice.813216 https://theredarchive.com/post/813216

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