I'm in my 30s. I don't want to get married nor do I believe in dating. I'm okay with friendships, and hookups (if I ever try to get one). My parents (south asian), my mom in particular, are trying to get me married. I'm quite happy with my life, whether I'm in a different reality or not. The biggest issue I have is getting work (and the fact that I spent a little too much time in school ). Working full time will kind of suck (though I don't mean to be insolent. I need a job), as there are other things I want to do - go to shows, improve my skills when it comes to playing the drums and guitar, improve my social skills, network with other musicians in this city and make friends (both men and women). These are all very important to me.

I've talked to a few girls too. I'm just firmly opposed to this dating stuff. It's not for me. It doesn't mean I didn't care about these women. I've enjoyed talking to them, and whatever feelings I've had or that have developed over time I have enjoyed too and I will continue to chit chat with these people. I just don't want to date. So, I told my mom go ahead and give me her email. I have no issue with talking to her, but I think she might be expecting a marriage screening test, so my plan is to be up front and say I don't date or marry. If you want to be my friend, cool, meeting new people is great, but if you're expecting marriage, and comparing astrological charts, I can't give it to you. (I also have this ego issue. I don't like it when my parents do things for me. I'm very stubborn that way. I'm a grown man. It's my life and I want to be in control of it.)

Sometimes I wonder, am I being ungrateful by throwing away marriage? The argument my mom threw at me was based in existential fear. She said what are you going to do when we're gone? Do you want to die alone? My response was that I don't want to give into that fear. It's no way to live, and that I was sure I'd have friends, and people who do care about me in my life. You don't have to be married to not be alone, right? And even if you are, is that wrong?

This pressure to marry is really getting to me. There was a time in my life where I was living in the moment, doing what I wanted to do without these fears controlling my life, and now they're coming at me. What am I supposed to do with my life for it be fulfilling? What's the purpose? Am I supposed to have kids now? Am I losing the race? ( Which I never believed in anyway ) Life's going by, am I doing the right thing, am I some how behind?