You'll see why I need to be MGTOW after hearing this. After a cruel and brutal breakup that left me destitute emotionally and financially. However, I rebuilt my life. I always wanted to write a play and have it performed, so I got up every morning at 5:30 AM and wrote in a play until 7:30 when I needed to get ready for work at a job that I hated. I got a good play written, and then I workshopped it to polish it up. Then I entered a playwriting contest.

And I won! I won the contest, which meant my show would be produced and performed. It was a big triumph. Then the director had me come to rehearsals to check out their progress and I met the leading lady and fell in love with her. It was all like a fairly tale, too good to be true. Yes, it was. Way too good to be true. So I had a passionate romance with her. It's amazing how much social proof and attractiveness you get from being a playwright. But that wore off. She soon started judging me harshly for the shitty job that I was in. My next project was to find better work, but I wasn't done with that one. She had moved to my state from another state to flee a violent boyfriend. However, when the glamor of my play wore off and she felt contempt for my basic job (which did pay the bills btw), she re-established contact with her old boyfriend in the previous state.

Many of you can probably guess where this is going. I promise I'm recounting it accurately without hyperbole. In their previous relationship, he had beaten the crap out of her when he got angry, one time having her end up in the ER with a concussion and a broken tooth.

I had done lots of self-healing work. There was a retreat in the mountains that I went to where you let go of past hurts and find ways to build yourself up and others. It removed a punch of pain and self-doubt, giving me the guts to just work on my play and make it really good. It was exciting to make that breakthrough of just getting the thing written, and then actually winning a contest with it. Deep down, I thought the breakthrough would then include finding the right woman and getting the great relationship that I had always wanted. It all just seemed to fit together perfectly.

When the threat of her bailing and going back with her violent ex showed up, I canceled one of the group meetings of the self-help group that I had promised to preside over. I felt bad about doing that because it was breaking a commitment, but I was determined to fight to keep my girl. So I went to see her instead and she told me that her ex had reformed. Supposedly he was a new man who had jettisoned his violent ways and she supposedly owed it to him to go be with him. When I told her that was a bad idea, she called me selfish. I told her if he was violent before, he would be violent again and next time she may not end up in the ER, but rather in the morgue. She claimed I was selfish and was just trying to manipulate her. I then said I was okay with giving her up as long as she didn't end up hurt by that thug ex. I said we could break up and she could either stay here or even move some other place, but that she should cut communication off with that violent dude. I was so scared of her getting hurt or killed by him that I broke down and cried. Soon as I did that, she lost all respect for me and treated me like I was pathetic.

So there was no way I could stop her from going back to be with him. I tried to move on, but it was hard. It really hurt. The following year, I won the same yearly playwriting contest as before, but I had not found anyone else. Frankly, my experience with her was so traumatic that I wasn't even trying to get with women, even though winning two playwriting contests and having my work performed made some women interested in me.

Then one day, I let the curiosity get the better of me and I googled her name. What I found was her obituary. I had missed her funeral, but there was a page up from her friends and coworkers talking about what a wonderful person she was. I was crushed. My ass was kicked worse than ever before. So from that page, I found one of her friends who grew up with her and talked on the phone with her. Turns out, that goon she got back together with had gotten trashed on a combo of meth and alcohol and got furious with her and killed her via strangulation.

This whole awful experience made me just withdraw from everything. I quit writing plays for a long time. I looked around online for answers because this bullcrap just made ZERO sense to me. I couldn't believe she insisted on going back with the violent goon when she had found me, someone who's never been violent with anyone. She could have shared the thrill of my new plays that were getting produced. Plus, I did find a way to move on from my crappy job. I did the work of upgrading my profession. She just wasn't willing to wait. She wanted me to be perfect in every way right then. Successfully winning playwriting contests just wasn't enough success. I had to be pulling in big bucks as well.

But this is what lead me to discovering MGTOW. Everything just felt wrong. My parents have a marriage that has worked and they've stayed together for decades. But their generation was the World War II one, which had very strong spiritial-based values. My mom believed that the wedding vows she took including staying together "in good times and in bad times, in sickness and in health" were a sacred pact she had promised before God. My dad believed the same thing. And that worked for them. They've been together for over half a century. My generation, the baby boomer one, is the first generation that has gotten super selfish and said to hell with all that stuff, and generations after have run with that as well, possibly getting even worse.

So after that experience, I bailed out of dating. I was MGTOW and didn't even know it. I later found it on the internet, and I was like, "Yup, that's what I've been doing."

The sad thing is, my experience is not unique. I'm sure plenty of other men have put their entire heart and soul into becoming the best men they can be and finding a woman to share that with, only to be treated like shit. It was in my generation that feminists started to get really awful, and ones that followed tried to one-up them, becoming the most obnoxious and hateful women they can be. It's basically turned relationships between men and women into a train wreck. Today's young men don't even really have any chance of being in a great relationship with a woman. The whole thing is destroyed.

As bad as my story is, I know some men have had it even worse than I have.