TLDR: held frame through her victim puke; stumbled into some active dread

Wife was a SAHM for 15+ years, until September when at my suggestion she returned to work for a year, to pay off some debts. It was a good job, which I know because I worked it myself for a year, good pay, good hours etc. Well, she has been victim puking since Sept, in one form or another, how crappy and terrible and stressful it is etc. First she emotes, then she gives me cold shoulder for days/ weeks. I don't let any of this affect me, though.

Monday night saw a main event, or close to it. She rants at me non stop about why the job is bad, she hates it, I made her do it, she misses the kids, etc. Lots of anger, bile and b.s., but I held frame and let her vent. Her anger then changed to more of a comfort test. She put her head on my shoulder and bawled her head off for 15 minutes. I held her, rocked her, kissed top of her head. Very fatherly. She slept like a baby that night. Next day she comes home, and is all affectionate, lots of kino, smiles and sex later that night. Not great sex, mind, and not what she is capable of or up to my standard, but a real improvement over the indifferent starfish I have been getting since Sept.. I don't get over excited about it. I am finding that not getting overjoyed at her little displays of decency is just as important as not getting devastated by her bitch-outs. I've been cultivating stoicism and it is paying off.

Finally, last night she was feeling really sick and asked me to take our daughter to her youth group meeting. I said sure, but wife warns me about daughter's adult leader. "She has issues with men, and she wears the pants in her marriage so watch out." I just smile and say "Ouuuh I love a challenge!" Well, long story short, I meet this chick, (who is younger and thinner than my wife) when dropping off my daughter and I turn on the charm. She is sweet as apple pie to me: Great big smile, preening, big giant pupils. (Man-hater??). I'm thinking, did my wife just try to prank me or is my game that good? 

When I get home, I say to wife "oh, really funny that prank you played on me. Ha, ha!"  She asks what I am talking about. "I mean, sending me to the biggest flirt in that group, and warning me she has issues with men. Very funny."  Oh man, wife's reaction was priceless.  She got very quiet and thoughtful, but 10 minutes later she was getting all cutesy with me again, and talking about hitting the gym with me again. So, I don't know if it was a prank or just her misreading of this woman, but it worked out great.  Bottom line:  I am happy with my progress over the past 8 months, determined to forge ahead.. and slowly but surely seeing some changes in her. Patience, persistence, OI, will be my watchwords for 1st quarter 2016.