Background

I've been lifting since February. Clothes have been on point for years—somewhat of a sore point with her, because she tends to be cheap due to her upbringing. Found TRP/MRP a few months ago and have been slowly implementing changes. I've read NMMNG, MMSLP, MAP, SGM, currently working through WISNIFG and 48 Laws. I've lost a good bit of fat and put on almost as much muscle. People have noticed. A guy we went out with Saturday said something about how I'm "built" and I must lift weights—it was the first time we had met (we're friends with his girlfriend) and I was wearing a bulky sweater. My wife has started saying things like "you keep getting better and better-looking. I hope you don't leave me for some cute Japanese girl." She's feeling the dread—also started hitting the gym, eating better, and upping her clothes, hair, and makeup game. She seems to be along for the ride. Good stuff.

Main Post

As I mentioned a while back, my company is going through a crisis right now. The company is based in another country, and I had to go there for almost 2 weeks recently to take care of things. Long story short there: it's not over yet but things should be moving in the right direction now, due in large part to me.

A while back I said I was having trouble with shit tests. I tended to get annoyed. It's gotten much better since I came back from the trip. Maybe it's because I've been dealing with much more important shit than her little shit tests, but AM and AA have been coming much more easily the past 5 days or so.

So I came back Wednesday and she couldn't wait to rip my clothes off and fuck. It was pretty awesome, and it definitely didn't happen the last time I went out of town for a while, so there's improvement. Then Thursday we fooled around a bit but didn't fuck because we were both really tired.

Friday, the shit tests started back. Little comments about the dishes, the laundry—these are usually my job because I work from a home office, but I had let them slip a bit since coming home because I'm still dealing with work stuff. She was right, but it was just surprising that she wasn't going to cut me some slack with everything I have going on. But I shouldn't have been surprised—AWALT. I mostly just ignored, but I also got all the house stuff caught back up.

Saturday we had made plans to go out with another couple. For some reason, my wife turned into a raging bitch that day. Not knowing what I was in for, I planned to jump into the shower while she was in there and maybe try to initiate, or at least get her into the mood. I stepped in while she was shaving her legs (we have a big shower) and pointed the nozzle towards myself.

Her face twists up and she starts chewing me out about how she was cold and I'm such a pain in the ass and why did I have to come in to the shower with her. I'm completely not expecting this, so I just stood there and stared at her. I said, "Do you hear how you're talking to me? What makes you think that's ok?"

I should mention here that one of her big issues with my recent changes is that I apparently "think I'm better than her." I've started letting her know in no uncertain terms that it's not ok for her to be a bitch to me just because she feels like it in the moment. "I can't help the way I feel!" No, but you can help the way you talk to me. She's interpreted this as me being "high and mighty" and "looking down on her."

So she starts back in on all that. Ripping me to shreds, really. Demanding an apology for getting into the shower and making her cold. I've quit apologizing lately unless I really did screw up—I told her I'm not going to apologize for getting into the shower, that it's absurd.

She gets out of the shower, even breaks the towel bar (accidentally, but it was because she was raging) and when I look at it disapprovingly she says "You wanna say something about it?" I said no, then I said something like "I don't know what makes you think that you can be this nasty to me but I shouldn't be able to call you out on it." Finished my shower and went into the office to get some work done.

This is really unusual for her. I know some guys here deal with much worse on the regular, but she's usually pretty even-tempered. But since I started implementing TRP/MRP stuff, the tantrums have gotten more intense. I think we're building up to the Main Event soon, but who knows whether it will be next week or a few months from now. Every time she starts in on one of these tantrums, I wonder "is this it? Am I ready?" So I've been trying to prepare.

Anyway, maybe an hour later she comes into the office and just stares at me, like I'm supposed to start apologizing. I wait for her to start the conversation. She starts telling me about how she doesn't like how I've acted toward her lately, how she feels like she's "not allowed to have feelings." I tell her of course she's allowed to have feelings, but I'm not going to be her punching bag just because she's feeling a certain way, and if she starts acting insane I'm going to call her on it. It wouldn't be acceptable for me to act that way to her, and it's not acceptable for her to act that way to me either. She brought up the laundry and such and asked why I "got so mad" (like I said, I just ignored) about her saying something. I said "Look, I'm going through a lot of shit right now. You know that. I'm going to try to keep everything running like it should here at home in the meantime, but I need you to cut me some slack if the dishes don't get done one evening while I'm trying to keep the company from folding." I stayed calm, held frame. She calms down and eventually breaks into tears. Apologizes. I hug her and kiss her forehead, tell her I love her.

The rest of the day she was great. She was fun, smiling, had her hand on my arm while we were out (very rare these days but a show of affection she knows I really like). We went out with our friends as planned and had a great time. When we got home I initiated. She put up some light LMR (we were both very tired), but I persisted and we had a good time. Afterwards she snuggles up to me, purring. "I don't know why I always resist you at first. It always turns out so great."

TL;DR

Went out of the country to fix a serious problem with my company. Came back with a stronger frame because of the shit I went through. AA & AM are becoming more natural. Wife went ballistic a few days ago. I held frame. Importantly, I was angry but I kept from showing it, instead focusing on facts—I'm not going to put up with this kind of behavior, I'm going to call you on it. She came through it much happier on the other side and things have been great since then.