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[–]weakandsensitive20 points21 points22 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
hahahahhahahaha.
help a newb. yeah okay. please post an update on this clusterfuck.
you ever hear the saying that some couples just deserve each other? that's you. you have no trust. you have no respect. she doesn't give a shit about you because you made it clear early on you don't give a shit about her.
you're like the farmer that doesn't do any work and when harvest time comes around you go "what the shit! how do I fix this and get crops?" the answer is you should've put in honest effort a long, long time ago.
[–]aviation1st points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You're right. I should have. I was 24 when I married her. Young and ALOT immature and certainly not aware of Red Pill. But what's done is done. It's not like I married her at 35, have been married two years and was RP aware.
I'm learning here. Want to help?
[–]logger1234 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I do want to help you man. Step 1: Read Sidebar. Step 2: Get thee to a gym. Step 3: Study your interactions with your wife, OYS if you want, askMrp maybe if confused about material. (Okay, I re-read and saw the part about 40 lbs down and body fixing itself. Good.)
If you want a victim puke, you could do it in askMRP - ONE time - and be tolerated. I think this qualifies.
[–]Bulk_king11-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Welcome to MRP most of these guys are harsh as shit (and they should be) but I know for myself when I first started here I would take offense to their brutal advice. There's no insensitivity here brother. It's your life and you only have a couple options to take action. Other wise you're complaining for nothing.
You said "want to help?" Well yes. He has and so have other members here. they're telling you, You waited to long and this relationship and your life is shit. You need to get out of the relationship ("oh but I have kids, one millions dollars") you're just bitching. Lawyer up and get out of this toxic environment. It's not only toxic for you but your children. In the meantime study the side bar, change your thinking. And yourself everyday. This is your life man. You decide what you want and fucking get it. Plan as that.
You obviously don't care about this woman. So don't be with her. People get divorced, and they have kids and money. Life goes on and we adapt. But you will be a happier man when all is said and done.
[–]blarggggggggggg8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I'm one of those sexist hypocrites who believe men can be forgiven for cheating and relationships possibly savlaged but women should not.
[–]resolutions316!!CAUTION!! Runaway bus potentially ahead11 points12 points13 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just....this.
Look, man. You fucked up. You know this, and admit it.
She fucked up. You know this.
The anger you feel is totally understandable, but you need to accept that it's only there because YOU fucked up your relationship. She's a reflection of you - almost literally in this case, because the cheating was "retaliatory," as you put it.
She's a person, she fucked someone. So did you. If you want to stay in the marriage at all, you just need to let it go.
In my opinion, that's your job #1. Everything else you do will be tainted by your resentment if you don't let it go.
Given, I'm a MRP newb and have my own issues. But anger is toxic - I know because my own has been fucking me up.
[–]whitebunny87 8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
if you don't respect your marriage why do you expect her to?
[–]GargantuaBlarg29 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Here since the fall
No prior posts in OYS.
No questions for clarification based off material that's asking you to completely change your life and outlook on life.
No comments to other posts.
A shitty FUCK VALENTINES DAY AND FUCK HER post.
A second post with the global problem of your entire life with a bucket of vomit for a second half of this post.
You know what, I don't believe you. Either you aren't trying or you don't really care to improve yourself. In fact I'm tempted to call troll.
Prove me wrong, see you around.
[–]470_2_700_nm2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I considered this possible troll material as well.
[–]burningBluePills2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What gets me is that the reason he found RP was that he got dumpstered by his side chick.
Yep. True. She used me to get a ring from her long time millionaire BF. That's when I discovered hypergamy which led me to The Rational Male and then here. What's your point?
[–]logger1234 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Ok, RP aware for a long time. Do you lift? What is your height/weight % bodyfat? How much work have you put in? Do you even sidebar?
Update, Just read this:
"The good: -No fap for over a month -Quit video games 100%. Instead work in the yard as frequently as my schedule allows. There's tons of work to be done there. -More commanding in the bedroom, she's more receptive to that type of submission than I ever realized. -Down 40lbs, defined abs and chest -Went from drinking daily to completely abstaining. -more involved in kids life, school/sports -wife (compared to almost every other woman I know) is excellent at maintaining the house. "
That is something, okay, you put /some/ effort in, at least.
[–]Pinelero points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
How old are the kids and do you have divorce $ set aside?
9, 7, 7.
No divorce money and much to lose during divorce rape. A coworker (divorced) and I figured out it'd cost me roughly $825k to get divorced (including child support for 3 and spousal support for 7yrs).
[–]jacksarmy3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Im surprised she doesnt just divorce rape you, Im sure she has you in her sights. Thing sounds broken beyond repair
BEFORE the divorce train these the station in the comments section....is there ANY way to save this marriage?
[–]470_2_700_nm5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What I'm reading is the two of you have never - either of you - respected the vows or expectations of marriage. Ok.
Second I'm reading you have been a slob beta for much of your marriage. Ok.
Third, you are now (this is my assessment) thouroughly in the anger phase. I'm not surprised you find her hyoergamy, past indescresions and so on infuriating.
I'm not going to give advice about whether to stay or go, only you can decide that. I will advise you though that regardless of her past and all that, you are still early in your RP journey. Given the financial loss you will take as well as the fact kids are involved, I suggest you give yourself the prescribed one month for every year of TRUE MRP living with all the focus on self improvement and leading.
At that point you can then evaluate what your play will be. No different than anyone else here.
Angry? Go lift. Still angry? Fuck her hard. Still angry? Read. Still angry? Maybe a plate... and so on. You get my point. Just keep going.
Thanks to you for this constructive criticism and also to resolutions316 for his.
To the others, just because I haven't prior posted means im a troll? Right. So much for the nonjudgmental community of men helping men. I admitted my mistakes here freely and looking for advice in an admittedly early RP journey. If some of you could see past the end of your noses, you'd see that neither I nor my setup/history is perfect. Neither was yours at one point, I suspect.
And yes, to one burningbluepills, I came across RP after being dumpstered by the side chick. When I figured out that she was using me, I started reading and learned about hypergamy which in turn led me to The Rational Male 1&2 and then here. Is that so hard to believe?
Listen, we ALL make mistakes. I'm trying hard here and asking others for help, not for condescension from your horses.
Thank you for reading.
[–]470_2_700_nm1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey man I wondered if you were a troll too...
If your not good luck, sounds like a twisted mess.
Take from today and the future what you want with putting the best interest of YOU first. Think not what you and the past have given you. Make sure you remember the lessons.
REMOVED - I wrote a paragraph on my suggestion about what to do stay or go, and broke my own rule about that. Only the person in the situation can make that decision. Internet strangers can only help them realize what might be.
Yeah, top posts were you reap what you sew. Can't blame them - we aren't here to be friendly, there is nothing about this game that is. It kind of parallels the business world. Business is buisiness.
[–]CanisFinn0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Fail. Pull the plug on this farce, go fix yourself, and start over.
[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Angry? Go lift. Still angry? Fuck her hard. Still angry? Read. Still angry? Maybe a plate... and so on. You get my point. Just keep going."
At some point you will get out of her frame and stop giving ten fucks.
reaching the level of not giving a fuck is good..... go after it
"Here's where my perceived problems are: I can't believe that she'd embarrass me in front of my friends like that....almost fuck a guy in my good friends house.....with my goddamn kids in the next room!! He and I both think it was retaliatory for my affair and also because she felt the need to be validated to someone of the opposite sex."
The longer you focus on this, the longer it will take you to move forward. OYS
You are a fucking train wreck. Own your decisions and their consequences and move the fuck on
[–]SeamusAwl0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men have affairs for validation, not women. Women have affairs because a man of perceived higher value wants to have sex with them or you were always beta bucks and she needs to scratch her alpha fucks.
[–]AechzenMRP APPROVED0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Step one, stop telling her about your affairs.
Step two, stop obsessing over her affairs.
You have a cock.
She has a vagina.
Neither of you can do a very good job mate guarding. You can configure rules and consequences. Are you going to divorce her for having sex outside her marriage? Are you going to divorce her because you had sex outside your marriage? It seems like the answer to both is no. How about you come to a don't ask / don't tell truce, and you tell her to properly pay the tolls. And maybe a ground rule for her like you can't fuck in my friend's house, and she can have the rule that you can't fuck your coworkers.
I almost hate to make the recommendation, but go ahead and pick up Opening Up, and maybe you'll learn something. Will probably get downvoting for pointing out that some people have open relationships. Here everybody is scared of getting cucked, as if you have any choice in the matter.
Step 3, you better be working on your plan for after this marriage crashes and burns, because it sure seems like it will / already has. What value does she add over you being single and not having to hide your side pieces? You should be lifting, and looking hot, and working on your game, and heading for divorce with your fuck you cash ready, rather than being in debt.
[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
More commanding in the bedroom, she's more receptive to that type of submission than I ever realized.
AWALT
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[–]weakandsensitive20 points21 points22 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]aviation1st points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]logger1234 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Bulk_king11-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]blarggggggggggg8 points9 points10 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]resolutions316!!CAUTION!! Runaway bus potentially ahead11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]whitebunny87 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GargantuaBlarg29 5 points6 points7 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]470_2_700_nm2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]burningBluePills2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]aviation1st points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]logger1234 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pinelero points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]aviation1st points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]jacksarmy3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]aviation1st points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]470_2_700_nm5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]aviation1st points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]470_2_700_nm1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CanisFinn0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SeamusAwl0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AechzenMRP APPROVED0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link