Look forward to what will go wrong

Reading the Book of Pook at the moment and this seemingly simple line stuck out to me: "look forward to what will go wrong." Now, this was buried in a discussion specific to planning dates, but it struck me as a concise way to sum up an attitude we should have toward many (most?) aspects of our lives.

Let's start with the date planning example. I am a planner. I love planning everything from the subway route home to multi-week excursions on the other side of the world. I will dig for hours to find the optimal route, most fun thing to do, or best place to stay and I love every minute of it. Envisioning and anticipating the things we plan is fun and motivating, but there is a wrong way to do it, which all comes down to attitude.

Previously when planning something, say, a vacation, I would anticipate and build up my (and my wife's) excitement, by imagining everything going exactly accordingly to plan--what awesome food we will eat at the restaurant we reserved, how nice the hotel I picked out will be, even imagining a seamless experience at the airport (seriously). This is fun and feels good at the time (if in a somewhat neurotic kind of way) but is also a sure fire way to set the event itself up for failure.

The more we anticipate only what will go right, the more fragile we become to everything that can go wrong. Old me was at the point where on the way to a restaurant with my wife in a cab that suddenly hit a bunch of traffic would leave me unable to even carry a conversation- my mind would be totally preoccupied with the (quite minor) deviation from plan--will we get there on time? if not will they give up our table? it was so hard to get this reservation- what if we have to find another place to go? Many a night was ruined by the utter loss of frame that results from the snowballing effect of this kind of thought pattern, and at its worst even plans going off without a hitch would be impossible to enjoy due to the anxiety of wondering what would happen if they didn't.

The answer? Look forward to what will go wrong. Instead of anticipating enjoying your plans like a neurotic Pavlovian dog, look forward to what will go wrong as an opportunity to test your mettle and demonstrate your massive frame. Starts raining on date night? Don't worry about fucking up the suede shoes you (or worse, your wife) decided to wear- this is an opportunity to take her dancing in the rain. Flight delayed to start a vacation? Don't berate the American Airlines agent- think of the adventure you can turn your time at the airport into- go to random gates and try to guess with your wife where a flight is headed from what the people in line look like. Service at the restaurant you chose sucks? Don't freak out about how it's not the 5-stars-on-yelp experience you were expecting- this is an opportunity to create a running joke with your wife that will probably last far longer than your memory of the deconstructed frog's eyes confit anyways.

Stop viewing deviations from plan as disasters and start viewing them as opportunities. No longer is the "plan" the best possible outcome, leaving you with only downside, the plan becomes the floor, with only upside from there. Going according to plan is the worst things can end up for you.

This has so far been a discussion only of relatively mundane events like dates and vacations, but this principle extends much further to how we view our lives in general. Indeed, this is a big part of what, at its core, Soticism is all about. If you are always looking for opportunities within challenges, you are effectively invincible.