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Need a quick opinion

[deleted]

June 16, 2015
0 upvotes
/r/MarriedRedPill
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Post Information
Title Need a quick opinion
Author

[deleted]
Upvotes 0
Comments 11
Date June 16, 2015 2:52 PM UTC
(11 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3a1leq/need_a_quick_opinion/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/need-a-quick-opinion.201673
https://theredarchive.com/post/201673

Comments

[–]TrainingTheBrain 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Are you worthy of a blowjob? That's my first thought.

I've started to notice guys who take on the Red Pill concepts are usually expecting too much too soon.

Practice game on her, learn how to get her horny through text, teasing, etc.

You can say, Come home on break and just leave it there. She'll do it and you'll pick her up and fuck her work clothes up and her makeup and make her pissed and she'll love you for it.

My wife is a teacher. On days that I'm home and she's working, she'll come home on break (the kids are in school) and I'll fuck the shit out of her, cum all over her, then tell her to stop being the teacher who smells like sex when she's teaching kids.

[–]Redneck001MRP APPROVED2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Wife initially agreed

Here's your problem, as I see it. But I'm just a random internet dude, so whatever.

You're asking her. Do, don't ask.

You're asking us. Do, don't ask.

Yesterday, I texted my wife and said, "Meet me upstairs at home at 3 PM." So I was there at 3 PM. If she didn't show, I would have gone to the gym early. There was no asking, or "will she or won't she?" Do, don't ask.

[–]hlyfknsht-3 points-2 points-1 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

To much mental karate for me. Just set up some time with my backup option over lunch. Now taking tips for keeping your affairs under wraps.

[–]marxistbacon 2 points2 points2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Ouch.

At first she will decline with disgust.

Putting yourself in her head, anticipating her reactions.

I know she will want to.

You do, do you? Putting yourself in her head, anticipating her reactions. Nothing good ever comes from living your life in someone else's head. Live in your own head.

I would have normally whined . Not a peep. Didn't mention it at all Monday.

Good, but these are just baby steps. Here you are still thinking about her rejecting your advance two days later, like it's still stringing you enough that you need to work hard not to vent and spew over it. Your outcome independence needs work.

You are applying the externals of RP (not victim puking, escalating) but you're still overthinking her reaction and not actually OI yet. Keep reading the sidebar books, and read the canonical post on frame by /u/strategos_autokrator.

Just escalate, suggest whatever you want, but really and truly don't give a fuck if it doesn't happen. Asking your wife for a BJ shouldn't be a decision you mull over after a day of feedback from guys on MRP - it should be a casual, playful part of your daily banter, and some days it will happens and some it won't. No big deal.

[–]hlyfknsht0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I'd expect that result from anyone but the awesomest of wives or an experienced professional. Most women I've encountered recoil with shock/disgust if you walk up to them and just ask for a BJ. OI seems a bit tricky for me at the moment. How does one want sex, but not care if it doesn't happen? I get OI on some levels. example "This relationship either works out or I'm better off with out it." Is the closest I can manage to OI to date. Work in progress.

[–]UEMcGillMarried- MRP MODERATOR2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Every woman has the potential to be a whore of the highest caliber. It takes frame and balls to pull it out.

I got laid last night. Never once did I ask like a little boy "can I have the oral sex please". I was dirty and nasty. I looked at my wife and told her "get down there and use that mouth like that dirty slutty girl I used to date."

She feigned disgust, laughed, giggled and started trying to prove she was a great cocksucker.

Quit thinking of your wife as some saint. Take her off the pedestal and start treating her like the whore she deserves to be. If she doesn't want to be that whore, replace her. Someone will.

[–]marxistbacon2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I'd expect that result from anyone but the awesomest of wives or an experienced professional.

It looks like you view sexual interaction as an unusual expectation for a married couple, if only "awesome wives" or hookers put out like that. Your mind and your beliefs are incredibly powerful in creating the world you find yourself living in. If you believe this is true, it's hardly a surprise that you find yourself living it.

Most women I've encountered recoil with shock/disgust if you walk up to them and just ask for a BJ.

But we're not talking about random women you encounter - we're talking about your own damn wife here. Shouldn't there be something different about your relationship with your own wife than with random chicks you meet? Again, you're framing this in such a negative light. It doesn't even have to be a BJ specifically, but you can be flirty, sexual, a little bit "dirty old man" hints delivered in a funny/playful way.

How does one want sex, but not care if it doesn't happen?

Yes, I know it's easy to say "just don't care". Of course you care, at some level - you have a need. But when you obsess over it, get yourself worked up over it, stew over her saying no for days, that's carrying it to an extreme it doesn't need to get to. It sets up a self-perpetuating pussy-worshipping and sex-denied anger cycle. The more you stew on it, the more you reinforce to yourself that her pussy/sex is so valuable, so amazing, so important to you because you're so upset that you're not hitting it. And the more you think about how much you deserve it, you need it, the more you get angry at her. The more angry you get, the more you stew over it. And the cycle repeats. The only way to break the cycle is to change your own mind. Easier said than done, I know. Suggestions - know you can rub one out at any time if the pressure gets too much, know that eventually she will fall into your frame as you improve yourself, and realize that you have a lot of other shit to accomplish in your life that's just as important to you if not more so than getting into the sack with her. You are a high-value man and eventually you WILL get some sex. With someone.

And as was mentioned elsewhere, make sure you're worth fucking - if you were her, and looked at yourself naked in the mirror and looked at your external behaviour to her, would you want to fuck you?

[–]strategos_autokratorMan, Married, Mod0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd expect that result from anyone but the awesomest of wives or an experienced professional. Most women I've encountered recoil with shock/disgust if you walk up to them and just ask for a BJ.

I want to point out that this rejection happened in your mind, and from that rejection in your mind, your actions followed. That is, you decided you didn't deserve this. No wonder nobody believes you don't!

How does one want sex, but not care if it doesn't happen?

I have a post on just this.

If you want to learn more about this, i strongly suggest you read about Buddhist philosophy and or Stoicism. Both have similar approaches to training your brain to do this. This isn't hippy-dippy shit, this is the foundation for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that has been used extensively to help veterans.

An example I can give you is martial arts. I'm training in BJJ, and i enjoy it very much. We spar regularly, and i suck, because everyone is more experienced and bigger than me. I keep tapping out regularly. It doesn't bother me. When i train, i fight to learn, to become stronger. These aren't my opponents, they are my training partners. They are helping me become better. Thinking about it that way keeps me motivated, having a good time, and every time i go there, i thank everyone for teaching me stuff. This is outcome independence.

Similarly you can do with gaming your wife. You can initiate sex just to get used to initiating sex without fear of rejection. You are training yourself for that. It will take a while, but it will change your mindset, and make you stronger. Only once you internalize this enough, then, she will believe it too.

[–]Countpudyoola 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Echoing /u/TrainingTheBrain. If you're at the point in your marriage where bj's are scarce to none, you aren't amping her up to that level.

Yes, some chicks are chickenheads and really like it, chances are 99% you didn't marry one.

But you don't talk or negotiate or for the love of chris PREP them. Get her amped up. If she's amped up enough then stick it in her face or lead her there. She'll either punt (you aren't there yet) or take the non-verbal hint.

Also if you're new chances are good you haven't been leaving her breathless and looking for the next encounter (especially if you still get shot down). I'd work on that first. a la SGM.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

said wasnt interested in sex Sunday. I would have normally whined . Not a peep. Didn't mention it at all Monday.

On the surface this is fine except ignoring only works if you genuinely have better things to do than to spend time with a rude, overbearing, obnoxious, sex denying screechtard.

Do you really have better things to do or are you just vagina (and mouth) worshipping?

Thinking about telling her she should come home from work and blow me.

Again, this is fine if you can pull it off with complete OI.

But bro...Do you even lift?.

[–]whinemoreplease 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Removed.

You're doing it wrong.

Read the sidebar. Lurk more.

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