Alright, here's the scenario.

Age 35 Married 15 years 3 kids 13, 8, 3 healthy marriage and sex for about 12 years...2 ok...shitty last 12 mos. I got fat 6' 312...down to 265. Still grinding. No infidelity from either of us. I verified the shit out of her as what you'll read below definitely sounds like she's got something going out there. She doesn't.

Now the story....

About 11 months ago I begin swallowing the red pill when my wife told me ILYBINILWY after a big fight. It was pretty well deserved as I had become a total beta schmuck over the years. I got fat, let my business slow down(I still make about 100K), and gave up all hobbies and life to "be a family man". I also probably emotionally abused her with screaming, yelling, being super controlling and jealous for no reason, threatening violence,...etc that caused a bit of emotional trauma for her. Typical frustrated beta shit.

I went hard into the sidebar here and at the RP subreddit. I've made significant positive changes in myself over the last year and of course I've screwed up here and there(lost frame, orbited, got pissy about sex life) as I work on becoming the man I should have been all along. Things were steadily improving until 9/28/2014. That was the night my wife kicked me out and accused me of having an affair with some chick I have spoken with 3 times in my life. It was total bs but it appears subtle dread game worked a little too well in this case. I shouldn't have left that night but it was 1am and she threatened to move out with our 3 kids. I should have forced her hand but I didn't.

So the last three months has been me living here, there, and at a rental condo for the last month. Over the last 3 months I've continued to RP and MAP(althol kay speak) and things have continued to improve. I sleep at the house probably 4 nights a week and sex is really good and back to a reasonable level(2 or 3x's a week) and she's doing things she hasn't done in a looong time. We are getting along great and I can feel her attraction re-growing by the day. She regularly comments on what an awesome man I've become again(I was a fucking alpha beast when we met.)

Now the problems....

  1. She doesn't want to kiss me. Hasn't really since the big fight in January and that's her big hang up. She says I broke her heart...blah, blah, blah. It's an attraction thing and I know it will be fixed in time as I continue dropping weight and toning up. Everything I read says to kiss her....She won't do it. Turns her head...asks me to stop. Yet, she'll enthusiastically suck me off and screams while I fuck her anally. Weird to me. Any ideas?

  2. I realize that me being out of the house is not where I should be and I continue to calmly and fairly stoically insist that I need to move back in if we are going to move forward. My lease on my rental is up 1/1 and I've told her on a couple of occasions over the last week that if I can't move back in on 1/1 or shortly thereafter that we are finished. She of course breaks down crying and says she can't be without me and she doesn't want it to be over but that she just needs a little more time before she can go back to our life together. She says she wants to be sure we'll be fine before we live together again.

However, she's not budging on me moving back in right now.

So, here's the question, boys? Do I continue to live somewhat outside the home while things are steadily improving for a little longer?

Or do I blow the thing up and start my life over?

The oneitis is long gone but she is a beautiful, loyal woman that is an amazing mother to my kids and has been a better wife than I deserved for about a decade. There are many, many positives to our life together. I now know I'll be fine either way but I just wanted to get some outside input before I make some potentially life changing decisions.