Nuclear Option

wp0016 · 2014-07-26T23:51:35+00:00

I might have it wrong, but to me it looks like you fear the consequences of divorce, even while you see it as an escape. I think you need to get to the point where you know you will do just fine on your own before you can either make a decent go of either marriage or divorce. After that whatever happens happens and if that happens to be divorce so be it.

UEMcGill · 2014-07-27T01:15:03+00:00

Once you get to the point where you truly accept you have options, married, not married. Accept that at any point YOU choose there's a woman out there that would throw your woman under a bus just to take her place, you become unplugged.

Knowing this, you change your whole approach to your wife and relationship. It's a lot easier to figure this shit out when your in command.

BodySnag · 2014-07-27T12:51:58+00:00

The idea of divorce can be a bit like the idea of moving to a new city and starting fresh. Sometimes the idea is better than the reality. You move to the new city, only to find that all your problems came with you. I think wp0016 has good advise.

james_bell · 2014-07-27T14:16:52+00:00

I'd remember that what she wants is a leader, show her you are in charge of everything short of those few creative moments at work. Don't waffle or appear indecisive. Let her see you interacting with other women positively. Get in shape. Do TRP in other words. But give her time to adjust and focus on the positive things that come about from her.

troubleonwheels · 2014-08-16T01:33:51+00:00

You have some questions to answer first:

Can you support yourself outside the marriage?
Are you willing to lose half (or a lot more) of your shit? Kids?
If things were 'better', would you still want to be married to this woman?

If the answer to all of these questions is "yes", then you are in a good place to say fuck it, I don't care. That's one major step of unplugging. If not, then you have some self-discovery to do until you can either get there or live with the consequences of what you have.

BUT, lets say the answers are yes, and you want to unplug from the life you and so many other AFC's are living. Then monogomy and marriage are worth it, and you can strut your stuff and show off your high testosterone. I have recently done this exact transformation. My big problem was assuming I had no options and I was trapped, as it sounds you feel. You have options. Act like it. I would start here:

http://therationalmale.com/2012/01/23/plate-theory-vi-abundance-scarcity/

Then, realize the most important thing: you are the prize. She wants to be married to you. She wants to be your lover. Remind her you're the prize. Hit the gym, throw away any non-complementary clothing, carry your head high.

http://therationalmale.com/2012/07/30/16-years-on/

There's a lot of other goodness in there, too. Rollo is a married guy who knows his stuff. I"m just starting to learn from his writings, and don't claim to be an expert. But I can see in your writings all the makings of a great transformation for you. Once you realize you're not stuck but have options, you can reshape your life so you don't need them.

Title	Nuclear Option
Author	Theopaulson
Upvotes	6
Comments	8
Date	July 26, 2014 10:00 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2bt7qu/nuclear_option/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/nuclear-option.203046 https://theredarchive.com/post/203046

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