Like the title suggests consistency is making my marriage better and better. Ill list out a few things that have happened in the last 3-4 days:

  • I washed both cars, got a few new customers for my side job and mowed the lawns. So i got my shit done. My wife did my clothes washing on the Sunday morning and came fishing for a compliment. I kept it short with a thankyou and pat on the bum. She knew i handled my side of thigns well and truly this weekend. So im not to go about being overly affectionate over something that is just a day to day get something done thing.

  • On the phone to my mate wishing his GF happy bday. Talking to him about going up to the pub as my wife will be away on friday night saturday day. I used the phrase " Yeh "wifes name" has given me a hall pass" in reference to my mate saying we can go to the pub. My wife immediately jumped on me saying no you dont. I just continued talking to my mate and confirmed i will be going to the pub with him. I didn't even try and clarify i just STFU i dont need to pander to her comfort tests or fight for control over something where i just used the wrong phrase.

*Suggested sexting and flirting via text while she was away. Nothing happened. Thats fine i still smiled and had fun and did my own thing. I love outcome independence.

  • In 2 weeks we are in our new house. The new frontier is my wife flirting, seducing me & general expansion in our sex life (positions/frequency)

She came home with a bad back from a very long drive late saturday. Watched a movie and did my own thing. Sunday i woke up a little after my wife got changed left the house to watch golf at my parents iwth my dad. Came home 3-4 hours later. Charged my phone to see 1 message and 2 calls from my wife. Battery in my phone was dead. I didn't make much more of a comment then battery was dead. I didn't follow her storming off into the comptuer room. I went and watch the end of the golf. After had a nap. Woke up had some dinner and watched a movie and enjoyed the night.

*Didn't say i love you when she said it twice on the saturday night as she was fishing for a comfort test. Didn't even get in an argument. I simply said a few times ago ill say it when i feel it not when you go fishing for it.

*Wife came to bed late after 11. She Initiated and had some of the best sex of my life. I shit you not the best sex of my life. She wanted it badly. The following morning she got an i love you before work. I condition good behaviour.

  • Ive conditioned her to know my time is valuable. Its taken a while but im seeing it more and more.

  • Wedding anniversary is tomorrow. She asked if i was away on sunday buying her a present. I said i wasn't explained about the golf. Ill get her one today she doesn't know that though. I haven't told her what were doing tomorrow night for dinner. She brought it up saying what are we doing? You always sort it out. So she doesn't even shit test me giving me multiple options or acting like she will decide. She truly just wants me to pick and i know she wont even try and shit test me about it.

*She follows my lead without much of a fight anymore. Its just how it is. Hence previous point.

Here i am coming out of a 18+ month DB. I thought there was no hope. Im calm, consistent, get my shit done, condition her to think my time is valuable, i dont do long winded talks anymore(ive been through all the talks and she didn't change), STFU handles most things( if not being funny joking smiling and short sharp phrasing sorts out most things), comfort tests dont get thrown at me all the time, very little shit tests get thrown at me but to be honest they are prett yeasy to pass now with how consistent ive become, i dont say i love you if im not feeling it or dont want to say it, i handle things i need to handle around the house or anything else in the relationship, my wife handles her own things we each have strengths.

I know its long but wow its good to have some progress.