Reciprocal Obligation vs Shit Test

druganswer · 2015-10-15T19:44:22+00:00

For obvious reasons, I would not tolerate her going to a girls night out at a night club, or a party weekend in Vegas with single (or married) friends. Is it unreasonable for her to expect the same in return?

IMO boundaries go both ways.

I think a real man would tell her "go ahead, do a girls night - i hope you have fun" and mean it... because if she doesn't already do these all the time she doesn't really enjoy them and will just do it and get it out of her system and realize she doesn't like them.

Anyway, why don't you just invite her to vegas? If you're really not looking to fuck around Vegas is actually more fun if you're with an SO...

stonepimpletilists · 2015-10-13T18:08:58+00:00

First off, her not making friends isn't you problem. It is something she needs to fix on her own .

As for GNO... TRP has enough on the subject, a quick search should pull it up. It would be the same thing, if they wern't so different in objectives.

you're there to bond. GNO are typically there for validation, and potential compromising situations that "just happened"

If she's doing it as a threat, call the bluff. If someone attacks her, you have to stand in front and fight them off. Price she pays for that is you get to go to vegas with some friends and drink. She worrid about you getting a hooker or something? Why should she? she does everything you could want at home, you don't need to look elsewhere right?

Ixidor89 · 2015-10-13T18:54:03+00:00

You shouldn't be made to feel bad for wanting to hang out alone with your friends. You wife shouldn't either, even if she normally does not do the same. Now clearly, you don't want to start an arms race with your wife over who can make the other the most paranoid. I don't know how much you communicate with your wife, but it sounds like you two need to work together to figure out what an acceptable level of communication is when you are separated. It's harder to make the argument that you're in Vegas to cheat if you're calling/texting semi-regularly.

FearDearg2015 · 2015-10-13T18:04:44+00:00

Is it unreasonable for her to expect the same in return?

Nope. Hamsters gonna hamster. Should you fall into her frame over it? Nope.

The reason I want to go to Vegas because I want to

Fixed that for you.

Have you read WISNIFG? You need to brush up on your assertiveness.

Rasalom72 · 2015-10-13T18:46:08+00:00

It's important to have guy time. You are already failing when you let her compromise your time with the guys. You need to step up and make sure she understands that your time with your friends is YOUR time.

As for this trip, well, no time like the present to start setting those boundries and enforcing them. Besides, if you go to Vegas without her, are you going to lock her in the house while you're gone? No... then STFU about a GNO... if she's gonna fuck another guy, she can do it while you're gone and not say shit about it to you... she is just trying to pull you into her frame.

Just tell her directly that you are going to Vegas, alone. You can't control what she does... in Vegas or not, so don't worry about that... just tell her what you expect, and what the fallout will be if she decides to cross the boundries you've set out.

Title	Reciprocal Obligation vs Shit Test
Author	RedPill808
Upvotes	1
Comments	21
Date	October 13, 2015 5:58 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3om45u/reciprocal_obligation_vs_shit_test/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/reciprocal-obligation-vs-shit-test.200876 https://theredarchive.com/post/200876

Comments