After we swallow the Red Pill and start a course of aggressive self-improvement within the confines of a marriage or LTR, there comes a time when we start to expect the wife to respond and for things to change. While there are rules of thumb about a month for each year of Beta-fication before you will start to see positive change, many of us find that to be to vague or we just plain get impatient. Several newer guys on here have been publicly questioning whether they might be happier just starting over. While I cannot stress enough the importance of giving your wife ample time to adjust to the new operating parameters, I thought I might nevertheless share a useful metaphor and strategy for setting personal standards around knowing when enough is enough.

The Doomsday Clock is a metaphorical clock that shows how close we all are to having a real fucked up day due to nuclear war. It shows how many minutes left until midnight, where midnight is Game Over. The clock is displayed on the cover of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists and gets updated from time to time as geopolitical situations change. But for us, the Doomsday Clock is how long your wife has left until you nuke her and your relationship.

Just like the real Doomsday Clock, your clock should change with your changing situation, but in a sightly different manner. Your clock should be based on the length of time you're willing to stay in your marriage if you don't see any change in your relationship. Once you see some positive change then the clock resets. If you reach the end of that period and have not seen positive change, you serve her with divorce papers.

For example, you might identify that you think you can wait 6 months to see improvement. Tick-tock, after 4 months the frequency and quality of sex have increased, so you reset to a fresh 6 month timer. A month after that you note with satisfaction that she is more agreeable and follows your lead: fresh timer. On the flip side, 6 months passes, and in spite of your personal changes the relationship is still sexless and bad: Doom.

There are obviously many things to think about here. One is your periodicity, i.e. how long you're willing to wait it out. Another is what you're willing to count as progress. Still another is when to suspend the clock, that is, when are things where you want then so that further improvement is either not necessary or not possible?

In using the DDC model I urge you to be conservative. Set a long period; allow small milestones to reset the clock; take her off the clock as soon as you can.

All this being said, the most important thing I can say is that the clock is not a punishment on your wife. The point of the clock is to give you peace of mind and patience across the process, to settle that restless voice that says, 'Faster!' As such, you have to own your shit or the clock will betray you. Don't put your problems and shortcomings on the wife and then impose the clock. That would be the ultimate in covert contracts and would simply be divorce delivered on-time.

I hope this is a useful metaphor; I've used it with great success. If clarification is needed then hit me in the comments.