Many of us who are married have struggled with self-pity in the past. For those still struggling, these are quotes that get to the heart of the matter:

The most despicable form of Cowardice is self-pity.

Marcus Aurelius, Philosopher

In life, you can blame a lot of people and you can wallow in self-pity, or you can pick yourself up and say, 'Listen, I have to be responsible for myself.

Howard Shultz, CEO

I tell people to monitor their self-pity. Self-pity is very unattractive.

Patty Duke, Actress

Feeling sorry for yourself... is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.

Dale Carnegie, Author and Speaker

I'd argue that we should avoid even pity directed toward others. Why? When you pity someone, you demean them by holding them blameless. You are essentially giving them a pass, and not demanding that they improve themselves.

By offering pity, you also demean yourself implicitly. Your sadness about someone's condition puts that person in a position to control your emotions. It also acknowledges that if you were in their place, you'd feel sorry for yourself.

A few more quotes that get to the heart of the matter:

If someone decides they're not going to be happy, it's not your problem. You don't have to spend your time and energy trying to cheer up someone who has already decided to stay in a bad mood. Believe it or not, you can actually hurt people by playing into their self-pity.

Joyce Meyer, Author

Pity stands in opposition to all the tonic passions that augment the energy of the feeling of aliveness: it is a depressant. A man loses power when he pities.

Nietzche, Philosopher

All this, I think, is different from empathy and compassion.

Empathy is when you can see the world through someone else's eyes. Compassion is when you have a desire to help others. Pity is when your empathy elicits sorry and sadness about their condition.

Interested in hearing other peoples' thoughts.

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