A few days ago, my wife and I were at a shopping mall. We had small arguments throughout the day – nothing major, but we were both a bit annoyed with each other. While entering a shop together, I continued discussing with her, which might have irritated her further, leading her to leave the shop abruptly. I was a bit slow in following her. She walked a few steps ahead when suddenly, an old Asian man, who appeared to be drunk, purposefully bumped into her from behind. At first, she thought it was me, but upon turning around, she was surprised to see it was someone else. The man apologized and tried to put his arm on her shoulder. She moved away, and I quickly approached them, feeling very angry at the man. My wife, thinking I would confront him, told me not to intervene. I tapped the man's shoulder and angrily told him to watch where he was going. He apologized again and tried to put his arm on my shoulder, acting drunk. I'm almost certain it was just an act. I stared at him like a angry bull as we passed him by.

We were uncertain about how to react, as we are new to this city and he is a in essense a foriegner. After a few moments, we entered another shop, and I tried to process what had happened. I feel incredibly guilty for not saying more. I feel diminished as a man, wishing I had been more assertive. I'm not a coward; there have been times when I've confronted men harassing women. But in that moment, I was overwhelmed by a mix of denial, fear, anger, and confusion.

My wife is very brave, yet she also remained quiet, and the incident didn't seem to bother her much. We discussed it after returning home, and the next day, she also felt that she should have said something.

I feel like less of a man for not confronting the man more forcefully and like a complete failure as a husband. I'm struggling to find redemption for myself and to feel proud again. Failing to uphold my own principles is deeply troubling to me, I feel like killing myself I dont feel like a man, I also started to feel that I should leave my wife! I cant stand my face in the mirror!