~ archived since 2018 ~

Is there any hope for me?

December 1, 2022

I turned 30 this year. I'm still a virgin and only been in one brief long distance relationship that only lasted a handful of months. I'm not conventionally attractive, I'm short, and I don't want kids. I feel like one or all of those is a dealbreaker for most women especially in a world like today where women can have 100s of better men at their fingertips. I'm really lonely, especially around the Holidays when all of my family has someone to love them and I'm just alone.

Since I was like 9 or 10 I've always wanted to have a girlfriend and get married. I have this crazy fantasy that one year I will be able to bring a girl home for the Holidays and my family would be very proud and happy for me, but that is all it is, a crazy fantasy.

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Post Information
Title Is there any hope for me?
Author lonely-throwaway92
Upvotes 29
Comments 19
Date December 1, 2022 5:29 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link
Original Link
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[–]surrealstrength 22 points23 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Focus on yourself and you will attract attention brother. Physically and mentally. Take the time to train yourself. But first come to terms with yourself, accept and then love yourself. When you become who who desire to be, women will desire you as well. At least this is what I have learnt in recent years, and it has helped me a lot.

Don't see yourself as an option for women. See yourself as The Man. That's what you are. Keep your head up King

[–]carverchile75 9 points10 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

100% agree. If you're not in a healthy place, no relationship is going to fix that. People are attracted to healthy partners. Don't focus on the relationship you don't have. Embrace your hobbies, learn skills, improve yourself and your conversations, but get comfortable and confident in yourself. When you're in a good place, a woman is more likely to be attracted to you. And if not...well, then you're in a healthier place for yourself anyway.

[–]surrealstrength 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

"Don't focus on the relationship you don't have"

Honestly this is so important for people to learn

[–]MoreThanThis_ 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why not? People get lonely and we all crave and desire intimacy

[–]a-man-from-earth 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, but a focus on the pursuit of a relationship can easily lead to coming off as desperate. It also can easily affect one's mental health.

[–]MoreThanThis_ 4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Loneliness can be felt even if things are going well for you. Just because he’s lonely doesn’t mean he’s this horrible, socially stunted person.

[–]surrealstrength1 points [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link

Literally nobody called him. In fact if you read my first comment I even acknowledged him for wanting to someone to spend the holidays with.

[–]mensupportmen-ModTeam[M] 1 point2 points locked comment (0 children) | Copy Link

The rest of this comment chain was removed because it was found to be uncivil and unsupportive, containing multiple personal attacks. That kind of conduct is not tolerated in this sub. For this reason you have been banned from this sub for one week.

If you disagree with this ruling, please appeal by messaging the moderators.

[–]a-man-from-earth 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is always hope.

[–]KiwiOnThePizza 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm 28 yo and on the same page so I'm afraid I can't offer you much help with that :(

[–]needalife94 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]Sword_of_Damocles_55 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hope comes in mysterious ways. Make sure you keep ur eyes open

[–]kopfkompass 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Are there things to do, to meet women? Do you use dating apps, are you engaged in some kind of social activity that allows you to encounter women or do you go out sometimes?

Other than that the men that posted before me are right: become the person you'd like to be. Don't focus on what you don't have, instead grow and Foster what you have.

[–]Slikdijit 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do some psychedelics and reflect on yourself

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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