I turned 30 this year. I'm still a virgin and only been in one brief long distance relationship that only lasted a handful of months. I'm not conventionally attractive, I'm short, and I don't want kids. I feel like one or all of those is a dealbreaker for most women especially in a world like today where women can have 100s of better men at their fingertips. I'm really lonely, especially around the Holidays when all of my family has someone to love them and I'm just alone.

Since I was like 9 or 10 I've always wanted to have a girlfriend and get married. I have this crazy fantasy that one year I will be able to bring a girl home for the Holidays and my family would be very proud and happy for me, but that is all it is, a crazy fantasy.