~ archived since 2018 ~

Lonely but happier

March 16, 2023

It's been several months since I stopped having relationships. I spent so many years of my life in a relationship, being single is a new world.

I don't object to a situationship or the company of women but I will not marry, cohabitate, or tie my resources to another person ever again.

I have been married twice and had one really LTR. I can learn from my mistakes and three iterations informs me that I am not compatible with modern relationships.

Am I lonely? Yup. Was I lonely before? Often.

Am I happier? Yup. Can you be lonely and happy? Often.

I am not recommending this for everyone...but it's worth considering.

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Post Information
Title Lonely but happier
Author kiadragon
Upvotes 19
Comments 4
Date March 16, 2023 12:38 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link
Original Link
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[–]DrawerEither9136 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I recently got out of relationship and it devastated me.

Im happy for you man, this is only way in these modern times, as a man.

Focus on something you like. Cheers.

[–]uniptf 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It is definitely and absolutely better, and can make you happier, to be alone, rather than in an unhappy relationship.

Lonely is not such a great thing, and long term, it isn't good for mental health or even our physical health.

Being alone - as in not in a paired relationship - isn't bad in any way, but it doesn't have to leave you lonely, and you shouldn't live life lonely.

Just find connections other than a pair-bonded, committed, exclusive relationship.

Good luck, man.

Edit: added unhappy

[–]BlackoutWalksAlone 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is kinda where I am. And I can see many men face the same problem since it can be REALLY hard to have a relationship or be friends with anyone. I teeter back and forth from being stuck in a crappy friendship (with my feminist friend) or just accepting that maybe I might be better off alone the rest of my life. I've tried time and time to connect to others and no matter what I did, it just never worked out for me. Eventually, putting yourself out there just becomes exhausting and a chores and in the case of my "friend" and my mother, it causes immense strain, anger and depression. I do have a distrust when it comes down to other humans as they can't really be trusted that much. The best possible thing I guess is to just find a hobby you like and that can help distract you from the loneliness for 5 seconds before you inevitably dive back into it. Sadly, that's just the way it is for a lot of us, me included. I wish I could connect to someone but idk if it's worth going through the heartache, the headache and the strain just to be able to be around someone else. 😔

[–]DrawerEither9136 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Same, man. I m only Looking for friendships and potential relationship instead i have as many here, only loneliness.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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