TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Mid-week check-in

December 27, 2022
15 upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

Please have a look at our current event and consider participating.

Wishing you all a good continuation of the week!

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Post Information
Title Mid-week check-in
Author mensupportmenmod
Upvotes 15
Comments 21
Date December 27, 2022 4:00 AM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MenSupportMen/mid-week-check-in.1145642
https://theredarchive.com/post/1145642
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/mensupportmen/comments/zw603x/midweek_checkin/
Comments

[–]luvmuz 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Dealing with a crappy job that wears me out completely and looming expenses that came out of no where. Right now, able to relax, sleep, have some drinks and get elevated while I come up with solutions to these problems.

[–]Deus_Ex_Mortum 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

One step at a time. Good on you for finding a method that while maybe not the best long term, can at least help you function now.

Don't let atrophy set in. Work towards your permanent fix, whatever that may look like.

[–]Cearball 3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I'm thinking about leaving my partner.

[–]Deus_Ex_Mortum 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

That's a tricky spot to be in. Want to talk about it?

[–]Cearball 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Lucky I have someone in work I talk to about it in a weird " we ain't being serious but we are kinda talking some deep stuff" if that makes sense?

He's thinking of leaving his wife & kids (grown up) of 25 plus years so it's far more stressful than my issue.

I'm just in a dead bedroom relationship of 7 years. Just got a house together & I really just can't be fucked anymore. I miss the freedom to choose to not give a fuck anymore in my own home. Not give a shit if I clean. Not give a shit if I do the washing.

No one's on my case about it.

TBH my partner is really good & will probably just do it all eventually but then I feel guilty for not pulling my weight.

I regret moving in with her (didn't want to in the first place).

[–]Deus_Ex_Mortum 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

How long have you been feeling like this? 7 years is a long time to walk away from. It seems like alot of these feelings could be talked out and a solution could be found.

Relationships are all about compromise. You can come out of the other end pretty okay if you take the time to state your feelings and work out a plan.

Don't make a hasty decision with 7 years of your life when the issues are reconcilable.

Just my thought.....

[–]a-man-from-earth 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

But don't fall into a sunk-cost fallacy either. Just because it's been going on for a long time, doesn't mean there's anything worth saving here. Sometimes it's better to move on.

[–]Deus_Ex_Mortum 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That is true.... Sometimes it is better to cut losses.

So long as you have done your due diligence and weighed your options appropriately, you shouldn't have any regrets.

[–]DarkKnight3192 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Feeling shitty as hell in this life.

Thanks for the check in though

[–]a-man-from-earth 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Do you want to talk about what's causing that?

[–]DarkKnight3192 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I mean apart from health issues which arose at the start of this year and affect me quite heavily some times, I'm still struggling with the lack of confidence and the fact that I am not up to the standard that I envisioned myself to be at.

I pursued a Bachelor's, got terminated , am trying for a diploma to be used as a foundation to a Bachelor's.

The silver lining is that I have secured a new job opportunity in a prestigious company so that's the only thing keeping me sane so far.

Thanks for asking!

[–]a-man-from-earth 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Health issues are always tough. But it seems at least a few things are looking up, so hang in there!

[–]DarkKnight3192 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks so much!

[–]Deus_Ex_Mortum 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Things have been getting better since the weekend. On the upswing, one might say.

Had a complete and utter mental breakdown / panic attack on Xmas day and have just been rebuilding since.

[–]Cearball 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Do you think Xmas triggered it?

What was it about. Do you know?

[–]Deus_Ex_Mortum 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

As far as I can narrow things down, it was a combination of the general pressure that comes with Xmas, being in a too small room with FAR too many people (one of which was getting their inner paparazzi on as well), and finally a series of incredibly passive aggressive text messages from my mother and brother

This last year or so have been very testing for my personal side of the family (mother & brother). We don't see eye to on anything and it's really starting to weigh on my psyche.

[–]Cearball 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry that happened.

How are you feeling now still feeling the pressure?

[–]Deus_Ex_Mortum 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Rebuilding after the complete breakdown. Yesterday sucked, migraine all day. Today was better.

Hoping tomorrow will be better still.

[–]Cearball 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I feel it will go well.

[–]Deus_Ex_Mortum 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fingers crossed. Thanks for chatting.

[–]youngboy23t 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Had my very first therapy session ever. From someone who is from a culture where there is a huge stigma on even considering mental health i think it’s a big step forward to address trauma. Im now reading about CPTSD. From surviving to thriving. A book on ptsd and traumatic healing. Also learning to improve mental health and quitting to smoke / do vaping. Mainly by the therapy session and following tips from the Youtube Full mental health guide of Hamza’s Ahmeds channel

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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