~ archived since 2018 ~

self improvement fucked me over

March 7, 2023

I'm all for self improvement but as a man when you dive deep into this shit it fucks up your mind. All this Red pill, black pill, purple pill all these words like coomer,zoomer, mog are used to describe people as subhuman. Videos about height and how you're fucked at a certain height as well as being muscular is a cope for not having that pretty boy look that all women want and so you're just a short Manlet, which I understand where they are coming from but if you're short and unattractive, you have to hit the gym, what other choice do they have.

Like wtf is this shit. Don't get me wrong, looks definitely matter as well as height. I'm very direct and honest but I never expected it to be this much of a cluster fuck. Like I'm 5'10/5'11 and I'm trying to improve my looks but the content that's out there suggesting people to move to certain countries to date for higher chances is mind blowing. Shit like "SMV" makes you feel like a slave, and that's not me saying you shouldn't improve your value but everything about this pill based content is so dehumanising.

It's all just a circle of negativity. Guys racing and putting their whole mental health on the line in order to reach that "Chad" status so they can escape the incel life they're trapped inside. I honestly have no idea what this self improvement has turned into.

If you're not 6'5 and have the face of a young Leonardo DiCaprio. You're just "coping" with self improvement. Whatever direction you take, they'll find a million ways to dehumanise you and analyse your jawline, face, nose, hair, and give you a scientific reason why you're subhuman and should just kill yourself and if you're not a 6'5 chad then you'll always be a little pussy and subhuman and if you decide to compensate by going to the gym or boxing or being a better man, then it's all "cope" and their negativity is contagious, when you get deep into their stuff, every time you meet a guy who's taller it conditions your mind to analyze that person as "better" and you're just an "incel" compared to him. It's all fucked up. I'm not saying by me arguing against them goes against their main point which is "looks/height matters". It does. But honestly you're better off not knowing it does matter and just living life because it'll fuck you up. I honestly wish I never discovered this side of self improvement.

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[–]Foxsayy 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't know 3/4s of those acronyms, but whatever content you're consuming right now, maybe look somewhere else. Reality can be kind of bleak when you really look at it, and I don't know exactly what you read, but Self help doesn't sound like self help to me if it's made to demoralize you.

The dating scene can be tough sometimes, but it's not impossible.

[–]chrisdidwht 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I mean they kind of have a point. Yeah its depressing but most women dont want you unless they perceive you as perfect. If you do happen to get with someone its a never ending cycle of hoops you have to jump through to convince her to stay. The happy wife happy life mindset. In most relationships her happiness is the one that makes or breaks the relationship.

With that being said you dont have to place your selfworth in how succesful you are with women. It is liberaring to just do your own thing but understand it is a lonely life and you have to be ok with that. Lately ive been consumed by work and my hobbies. Trying to move on. Of course doing this there will be a point of success you reach where the tables will turn but that bar is really high. Im ok with that. Im shooting for the stars.

[–]SNAiLtrademark -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're first paragraph is entirely false. Women do not expect you to be perfect. Women look for effort. It's everywhere in their culture and communication; they compliment each other's achievements and make-up (things that take effort); they compliment men's hair, and painted nails, and outfits; the men they like are in therapy, or hit the gym regularly, or eat right, or have climbed the job ladder.

You're looking at the results of the effort and saying that's what matters, but it's not; it's the effort itself.

[–]Sydnaktik 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel like I'm from an older generation and the original red pill concepts really helped me. I did have to do a little filtering. Especially from the community that seemed intent to read into it some kind of support for misogynistic behavior. But the red pill of today seems almost unrecognizable.

I honestly wish I never discovered this side of self improvement.

We've had another poster echoing similar sentiments about the black pill a couple of weeks ago here.

I really don't know what's going on with the black pill stuff. Never got into it myself. Maybe it's a consequence of tiktok-like algorithms? You're feeling down on yourself so you watch doomster videos that validates your feelings of despair and then you just keep getting more of that content which builds into an entire ideology.

Personally, I don't mind words like coomer or zoomer (I have no idea what a mog is). Yes, it's reductive but you can recognize it as reductive, thereby meaning that this is just one aspect of that person. And that it is often frequently misinterpreted and misunderstood, but still represents prominent personality/behavior among a group of people. To me it adds culture and meaning to the human condition. Even if these behavior are usually looked down upon.

I guess I would say that it depends on the context in why it is used. If it is used to dehumanize and take away their rights. Then I have big problem with it. If it is used as a crude tool to understand and accept unusual behavior, then I think it is a good thing.

Edit: I just looked up mog. Which is short for AMOG which stands for alpha male of the group, but has been extended to any behavior or even physical trait that will make one male appear more viril than the others around him. Let's be honest here, this mog or AMOG shit is always a concern. You've got to curate special geek oriented friends groups to avoid it. F'in Putin is sending 100s of thousands of men to their deaths just so he can AMOG all over the place. And if the black pillers tell you that it is "cope" to figure out how to deal with it for yourself and carve a life for yourself in the world despite all of the bullshit. Then please "cope" away, it's the best way to live.

[–]michaelpaoli 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's all just a circle of negativity


Sounds like you found the stuff that's intended to get you to feel bad about yourself so you'll buy more stuff to try and "improve" (more such (monetized) material, gym memberships, fad diets, ...), lather, rinse, repeat.

And, yep, quite the same also exists for women too.

[–]kiadragon 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude, you OD'd. Back away from Fresh and Fit and breathe.

They are not wrong about modern females in general terms. But it isn't just about money, looks, and height.

All of the camps from Red to Black Pill have some points. And the toughest part for some men to do is the same part as is difficult for women to deal with.

We are not at hot sh!t as we think we are. We all have some limitations. That includes where we are in the sexual marketplace.

You are taking this way to hard. No one is calling you a p*ssy. You sound a bit like a triggered feminist, bro. Get over yourself and your defensiveness.

[–]SeattleSourdoh 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The problem is that you are doing it for women/to attract women. Do it for yourself and forget about women. Honestly, as someone who has been there and done it - it's not worth the effort if your goal is doing it to attract women. I know that's easier said than done as most of us have that desire/instinct inside of us. The sad reality of life as a heterosexual man in 2023 in the west is that you have to get used to and lean into the positives of being single and alone.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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