I'm doing pretty well in life. Good job, great wife and not financial issues. I'm the type of person that should not feel sad for no obvious reason.
Unfortunately there is something that really triggers me. I feel that the kind and empathetic people around me simply don't have empathy for boys and men. It's so frustrating. I have to explain things to them all the time. These are smart people, why are they not getting it?
I frequently hear or read "toxic masculinity" or "but we live in a patriarchy" as a way to shut me up when I talk about various men's issues. I was bullied when I was a kid. I was always attacked by bigger boys or several boys my size. I learned to be violent and fight back but the bullying did not stop until I became an adult. People around me try to convince me that it's because we live in a patriarchy and because I was not aligned to the toxic masculinity gender norms. I don't think that's the case. If we were to live in a perfect equal world where women would hold half the seats in power, I think people would still ignore violence against boys while being super involved into stopping violence against girls. We would still have shorter lives, higher suicide, male genital mutilation (I'm not calling it circumcision) and all the fucked up things men face. We don't even use the same words for the same deed. In my country men pedophile teachers are called pedophiles. GREAT! Women pedophile teachers are called "sexy teacher" in the news. We should use the same words for the same thing, how is this not basic knowledge? Using different words is just a way to hide the empathy gap.
Why do I feel so sad when people try to explain to me that men have it better and find various ways to diminish my feelings around my childhood violence? I'm an adult in no danger of violence with everything going well for me. How can I stop thinking about conversations that I had with people where they try to minimize men's issues?
It feels like if I don't follow men's issues subs then I can't know men's issues and cannot promote them to friends but being aware of them makes me sad and gives me insomnia. Women have a ton of issues but there are organizations and politicians that fight for women's rights. It's fucked up that women face misogini but the world is at least verbally against this. When it comes to men it's silence.
Are there any books that can help me control my emotions and stop my rumination around men's issues so I can go to sleep easily? I saw a psychologist but she did not help that much.