Apparently, NTA.

rofl1969 · 2019-08-09T12:40:30+00:00

I know it must hurt to read that but don't take it personally. The kid made his/her decision and I understand why they feel like a "visitor" having to do 50/50. Also they're 14, it might be helpful to have a more stable life at that age, especially if that's what they want.

I feel bad for the father, he's obviously hurt by this. But sometimes kids choose the fathers house too. We can't know what their life is like based on that one post. But regardless, it has nothing to do with how good you or all other fathers are at being a dad, it has everything to do with the fact that the kid wants to pick one and someone unfortunately is going to be left out. It's a sad situation but I don't see why they're an asshole for making a life decision that could benefit them and make them feel stable.

perplexedm · 2019-08-09T12:45:09+00:00

This 14yr old don't want to be around little kids.

He prefer to be alone at his mom's.

if I stay with Mom full time, my dad will have to pay a lot more money to my mom. This is because my mom doesn't get paid much but my stepdad makes a lot. My dad does make as much money as them.

The issue here is not what this boy 'wants'. The issue here is that he is not attached to either of the parents, probable chance to grow up narcissist and to fall in life's miserable ways.

This is because my mom doesn't get paid much but my stepdad makes a lot.

What does this mean?

HQR3 · 2019-08-09T14:24:44+00:00

I question why this 14 year old disapproves of the 50/50 custody rather than the schedule. If moving every week is what bothers him, why no ask for that to renegotiated, maybe every 4 weeks. Also missing from the explanation is how far away the parents live. To me, the real cause of dissatisfaction is the competition of the 5-year-old stepsister for the father's affection. Apparently, she's resented, bottom line. Without knowing any more about the situation, I'd have to say (in my best Jerry Springer): "You ARE the asshole!"

Weysting · 2019-08-09T12:21:37+00:00

is that apparently meant to represent that you’re suprised or expected them to be the asshole ?

turbulance4 · 2019-08-09T14:06:55+00:00

What bothered me most about the comment section was all the people says "yea it's horrible to shuffle the kid back and forth so often." That logic doesn't hold in reality.

1st she shouldn't have to pack and move, as she should have most the things she needs at both houses. 2nd the most popular unequal schedule is Siegenthaler schedule, which is basically every other weekend and 1 day during the week at dads. This would mean moving between houses twice every other week and once every other week, or an average of 1.5 times per week, which is greater than the 1 time per week she experiences now. Any other "normal" schedule would leave the 14yo moving at least as often as she currently is and just mean she seed dad less often.

RedHeadedIdiot · 2019-08-09T17:03:15+00:00

I agree. NTA. Actually no, the government is the A-hole. For making the father pay child support despite the mother having a husband that can easily support their family. But other than that, I don't have a problem with them choosing to be with their mother.

boringcarpets · 2019-08-09T19:03:13+00:00

Rewrite this with the genders reversed, see what happens

2019-08-14T03:59:53+00:00

Sounds like dad got parentally alienated early on. Unfortunate. Women love to turn children against their fathers.

The child in question is already developing some nasty and selfish behaviors likely courtesy of the mother. Imagine having a little sister you could be a role model for and being instead like "Lulz fuck off kid, I don't like you, I'm gonna go live over here cause I don't like my room and cause I want to enslave my dad to benefit my mom, I just think my mom deserves to have my dad break his back so she can steal money from him by claiming it's for me you know?"

TL;DR Child was brainwashed by mom, mom is a greedy whore, child seems to have been taught that using child support to fund her mothers lifestyle is acceptable because apparently her mother is a goddamn child.

AEHIILRS · 2019-08-10T00:08:20+00:00

I hate that I have pack all my stuff every goddamn week.

My ex used to come out of the house to do custody exchanges with bags packed for the kids. They didn't need them, usually they sat dropped by my front door, untouched, ready to be carried to the car when it was time to switch back. It was just a subtle signal that staying with me was merely a temporary vacation, like visiting the grandparents or having a sleepover at a friend's house.

I get punished for forgetting things at the other house. One time i forgot my swimming trunks at my mom's and my dad said I couldn't swim that week. And that I needed to be more responsible. That's so unfair.

This is also kinda interesting. The apartment complex I moved into had a pool. Our old house did not. She'd put swimsuits, sunscreen, etc. in the bags she packed and then nasty texts if everything wasn't sent back to her. That was the bit that made me start thinking carefully about what she was trying to do with the unnecessary overnight bags.

I don't know why /breakingcadz doesn't have swim trunks at their dad's house, but figuring that out would probably shed a bit of light on what may be going on behind the scenes.

40moreyears · 2019-08-09T15:22:58+00:00

YTA. Go with your dad when he wants. He loves you.

Title	Apparently, NTA.
Author	beathedealer
Upvotes	18
Comments	43
Date	August 9, 2019 12:12 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/co1iym/apparently_nta/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/apparently-nta.871513 https://theredarchive.com/post/871513

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