Child support question?? PLEASE help me

Diesel-66 · 2018-08-14T22:59:35+00:00

You cannot waive the rights of the child to monetary support.

What you can do is work out an agreement between you two. But if she later decides that she needs more support, or if she goes on govt welfare: the agreement is worthless. A judge then enters your income and custody into the state equation and you pay whatever it says.

TheMythof_Feminism · 2018-08-14T20:26:02+00:00

In the USA at least, there is no such thing as a "prenup" that would exclude you from child support. In the eyes of the law, the child's interests are supreme, and both parents are on the hook for providing support. Neither you nor she can bargain this away at any time. (As a practical matter, of course, men are almost always expected to dig deeper to provide.) The only ironclad (well, almost) way to avoid paying child support is to never have sex with a woman.

For similar reasons, a "prenup" on child visitation is almost certainly of little value.

In any case, if you really care about this, see a lawyer. Preferably two or three.

Loki-87 · 2018-08-15T00:29:22+00:00

NOT CONSIDERED LEGAL ADVICE: Since you both make roughly the same $$$, child support is not optional. What will determine the amount varies form State to State. (It is either a percentage of income, or income-shares models). IF she ever requests any type of State benefit, they will want a Child Support Order.

IF you can agree on an amount (That is near a calculated amount) generally the Courts will approve the agreement.

Your next step would be to determine what model 'your' State uses and go from there

Juan_Golt · 2018-08-15T05:30:24+00:00

Worry more about custody than child support. As an unmarried father you will have zero rights and sole custody is basically impossible.

The critical thing will be making a parenting plan jointly with the mother. Which can simply be a written schedule of who handles what and the associated expectations.

downundergoldbon · 2018-08-14T19:34:20+00:00

You two draft anything. Write it together. Take it to court together. Sign and swear it together.

Then go see a lawyer privately with your documents and see whats up.

She'll probably fuck you in the end as soon as things dont go the way she wants. Protect yourself.

a-man-from-earth · 2018-08-14T23:29:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

turbulance4 · 2018-08-15T05:55:40+00:00

Preventing future child support, should things go wrong, is a non-starter. Just not possible.

Your focus needs to be in maintaining as much physical custody as you can. If you and mom are friendly enough to cohabitate, do it. If you're deployable you'll need to make a family plan for what happens with the kid. You should suggest that mom do so and stipulate that you get the kid full time while she's deployed, and vice versa while you are. This will be a form of documentation that clearly states you are filling the parental role. I'm not sure if you'll be able to get a copy of that, so it may not work, but you can ask.

You might also check with your base legal offices. They have attorneys that work for you free of charge. I'm not sure exactly what they can do for you, but they might suggest some options. Maybe not.

Your still young in the military. You should recognize it's quite likely that one or both of you get PCS'd to different places without regard to your shared kid. They moved me without regard to my kid with my ex, despite my protest, and I ended up having to travel from Germany several times just to have some symbolance of a parental relationship with my kid, which was quite expensive.

I really really hate that I'm saying this, and I know I'll get a lot of hate on this sub for saying it.... But given your military situation, marriage may be your best option. Not even considering the possibility that she's a bitch and tries to remove you from your kid, the military just doesn't give a shit about unwed fathers. They'll bend over backwards to accommodate married couples. They'll pay to move the wife and kids all around every single god forsaken place in the world they move you to. They'll give them base privileges, and free health care. But if you're a single dad without primary custody you get fucked. I speak from experience.

LahTrey · 2018-08-15T12:29:33+00:00

I really appreciate the advice gentlemen. Helped open my eyes to what is truly important and that is focusing on making sure I can keep reasonble amount of physical custody with my child. I will be going to base legal on my own and with her. To see if we can come to agreement with that. I have accepted if things go wrong child support will happen. but the way ga does it is a little reasonble. Income shared and we get the same income. She gets a little more. So she may even pay more but usually the man pays 17-23 percent. Which will be about 600 bucks for and I am perfectly fine for that cause I planned to put away 600 a month for the child so If all does go wrong I could just give that instead of putting it away. So now I am focusing on the bigger picture! Thanks a ton. I most likely will be back with more question but I truly do appreciate it gentlemen.

2018-08-15T15:42:24+00:00

There's never anything stopping you from drawing up an agreement you both agree to work under, while you're cohabiting and working together on raising that child. I know a good half dozen couples that started out their divorced life with a plain private agreement, and the state wasn't involved in any capacity.

But … that only works as long as everyone wants to play fair and continue to abide by that agreement. The minute there's a dispute, in comes the courts for enforcement, and in come Family Court with their court orders.

For example, a friend of mine had a child with a one-night stand back in Nova Scotia. When we met, a few of us got chatting about divorce and child support, and he asked me what I paid ($980/mo). He laughed and said he'd paid only $185/mo because he'd done a private agreement with her. She wasn't bright enough, or aware enough, to realize that the federal government guidelines were WAY higher than what she was receiving. If she'd known, she'd probably have flipped her lid.

He was one conversation or one article away from having her wake up, and if she had, a petition to the province for a court order, at the federal rates, would have been simple to obtain.

oneeyeclosedtoyou · 2018-08-16T00:25:34+00:00

Good luck trying not to pay child support. You are giving real men a bad rep.

Title	Child support question?? PLEASE help me
Author	LahTrey
Upvotes	9
Comments	38
Date	August 14, 2018 7:11 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/97b7wn/child_support_question_please_help_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/child-support-question-please-help-me.896163 https://theredarchive.com/post/896163

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